What are /r/intj's favorite Products & Services?

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Yeah, definitely someone who has to understand how and why beforehand. I never liked cooking because I'd follow the recipe and it'd never turn out the same. Someone bought me Food Lab (https://smile.amazon.com/dp/0393081087/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_fabc_XMGSK40Z92KSBKPG5ZTS) and it went into such great detail as to WHY meat tastes better when salting it first and how to properly cook potatoes. Now I love cooking. So yeah, I definitely understand needing to know more than just the steps to the answer.

I love this post..so refreshing, honest and vulnerable :D

Reminds me of the time when I bought my bf an INTJ sweater from amazon. He wore it one day to Costco and a middle aged lady screamed out of nowhere "INTJ!!!!!! ENFP here!!!" and my bf looked all shy and just smiled and tried to hide in one of the presentation bedrooms. :D

Needless to say I did not find that sweater around anymore haha.

edit: the hoodie in question

https://www.amazon.com/Official-Get-Hopped-Apparel-Personality/dp/B07PYYCPQH?customId=B078RWWH1P&th=1

I got the DNA test from https://www.23andme.com/, which evaluates your ancestry only. Then I paid $5.00 to https://www.promethease.com/ to run the report against their mapped relationships to genes based on their universe of knowledge when it comes to known medical associations and other studies / reports.

Fuck dude, just tell us what you want to discuss in the damned title. Or at least the first sentence.

My advice: go read Economics in One Lesson by Henry Hazlitt (pdf warning).

Do you really think that women in the Middle East were ISIS emerged have any considerable freedom before or after? Feminism is not a relevant factor in those areas a Youth bulge is. Plus read Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What it Means for Modern Relationships to moderate your ideological stance.

>Upon this a question arises: whether it be better to be loved than feared or feared than loved? It may be answered that one should wish to be both...

Ch 17 - The Prince

https://www.gutenberg.org/files/1232/1232-h/1232-h.htm

1) What does your company do?

Vicky Virtual Receptionists (www.vickyvirtual.com) - We answer calls for entrepreneurs, solo attorneys, and small businesses.

2) How did you get started?

https://www.reddit.com/r/Entrepreneur/comments/30u0yo/vicky_virtual_receptionists_idea_to_profit_in_2/

3) When was it, and how old were you at the time?

We launched January 1st of this year. I'm 23.

Books you should read:

• The $100 Startup
• Traction
• Start with Why
• The Art of the Start
• The E-Myth Revisited
• Delivering Happiness
• Scaling Up
• Good to Great
• Built to Last

Starting out, I was very narcissistic, but like you describe, not in the typical way. The typical idea of narcissism is egomania, but I think the more helpful version is unawareness of others as equally complex individuals.

Here's a quiz: What is the unspoken 'rider clause' when someone speaks to you in a social context?

INTJ answer: “what do you think of that?”

Right answer: “what does that say about me?”

So, it's not self-assessed awesomeness that makes the INTJ a narcissist, it's an unawareness of other minds. Consider how differently a single conversation goes, according to the two preceding understandings:

*INTJ STYLE: *

Them: I’m working on my lawn this weekend.

INTJ: I don’t do much lawn care.

Them: I need to take my mind off my cat that just died.

INTJ: I don’t like cats.

vs

*Normal STYLE: *

Them: I’m working on my lawn this weekend.

INTJ: You do a lot of lawn work?

Them: No, I need to take my mind off my cat that just died.

INTJ: You must have really cared about that cat.

Adapted from something I wrote here.

You might want to read Scott Adams' How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big

Among other things he says:

• Goals are bullshit. Focus on systems instead (INTJs are especially good at this). For example, "lose 10 pounds" as a goal means that, until you lose those 10 pounds, you wake up a failure every day. However, if you focus on a system of, say, exercising three times per week and eating at least one healthy meal every day, you will start succeeding on the very first day.

• Forget passion, focus on skills. The development of multiple skill has an exponential effect. That is, two skills is not just twice as useful as one. It's four times as useful. The more skills you develop, the more opportunities you will have to find work that truly inspires you.

• Understanding and managing your energy levels are the most important skill of all.

“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.”

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/9972

That said I won't bother to argue with anyone if the outcome does not affect me.

The Wise Man's Fear by Patrick Rothfuss, the second book in the Kingkiller trilogy. I just read the first book, The Name of the Wind, last week and it was so good that two days before I finished it, I ordered the sequel. I highly recommend it if you enjoy fantasy.

• bookshelf of classics i read and those i need to.. and an amazon list of thriller trash i can read in a day for funsies.
• so many instruments. i like stringed instruments, so i have an electric and classical guitar (played for many yrs), but also have other varieties of stringed and percussive instruments (mostly from other countries). Learning materials, speakers...
• legos, coloring books (with big monsters / big lines but more adultish) - these are things i like to do at a table and side watch a film to
• my bike (fave in living room, my 2nd in front of garage). its customized and i love it. i don't ride far, but i love planning days biking to where i want to go and relax.
• my pit and hammock... patio. texas
• a workout room. if i've had too much with the outside world i want an option at home to do what i want exercise wise.
• so many language and music papers around. i print and study, move on.
• random socks. i can't relax with them on
• photo collages on wall. i put a bunch of my fave personal pics (per theme) and used a program to make a collage. printed and framed. it's the first thing people gravitate to as i'm not a very open person.

Advice: read "The Art of War".

Caution: too arrogant which results in constantly underestimating others while failing to realize that the "others" can work together, whereas you work alone, and suddenly they're not so stupid anymore.

Well these are for you, buddy.

• Meditations of Marcus Aurelius (true wisdom right here)
• The Obstacle is the Way - Ryan Holiday (expands on Meditations)
• Letters from a Stoic - More Stoic wisdom
• The War of Art - Steven Pressfield (great for work ethic)
• I Lost it at the Movies - Pauline Kael (great if you're into movies)

INFJ here, but I frequent this reddit and I love reading so I thought I'd drop in a few of my favorites:

The Prince--Machiavelli

Till We have faces--CS Lewis

How To Win Friends and Influence People--Dale Carnegie

The Law--Frederic Bastiat

Seven Habits of Highly Effective People--Stephen Covey

The Federalist Papers--Various Founding fathers

On Liberty--John Stuart Mill

Waiting for Godot--Samuel Beckett

I fail to see how being on a tablet is relevant to how you are writing. I can understand being screwed by autocorrect or not being able to format text properly, but what you have written here is almost incomprehensible.

>So I happen to be noticing that more and more frequently I have been asking questions over many of the people around capabilities of answering, though few still try and its great its easy to tell when someone doesn't fully grasp the topic.

I think you're saying that you are asking questions that go over peoples heads. If those questions are in written in English then it's probably because no one can be reasonably expected to understand what you're writing.

Here are some tips:

• Use shorter sentences
• Read each sentence before you post it
• Be concise and clear
• Use proper punctuation
• Avoid using idioms - I think you're trying to translate idioms from your native language into English and they don't work. It gets very confusing.

I honestly think you should take an English class, perhaps one online could work. You can try to google for English courses based on your native language, but I think your English is good enough to use one which doesn't rely on another language.

Duolingo is a great language learning tool which I highly recommend.

Feeling Good by David Burns - how to analyze and shift your thought patterns

The DBT Skills Handbook by Marsha Lineham - how to regulate emotions and cope towards effective behavior

Search Inside Yourself by some dude - meditation via google engineer

Models by Mark Manson - how to be an "actually" attractive and awesome dude

Love yourself like your life depends on it, by some dude - cut yourself slack,k?

all of them overlap significantly with eachother, but they each cover what they cover very well.

Feel free to offer suggestions for the first book! I've always wanted to read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance but never got around to it.

I'm into Call of Duty. There's so much room for strategy in this game, I'm talking The Art of War type strategy. I go deep, I've gone as far as analyzing how the game engine works (lag compensation/jump-shotting vs. drop-shotting/etc.). I'd put myself within the top 8%-12%. I love that they brought the theater mode, because if I don't make that top spot, you can bet I'm going to watch what the top player did to see any tweaks I can make to my game.

I enjoy sitting quietly with my mind as blank as possible, sometimes with chill instrumental music (or rainymood.com) going in the background, for short lengths of time.

However, I do not ascribe to the beliefs in chakra, chi, or whatnot.

I simply enjoy a quiet, peaceful moment.

http://superuser.com/questions/633875/will-this-work-3-displays-w-gtx-560-ti-2-in-dvi-1-in-hdmi

If you use the motherboard VGA for your third monitor then it could work. Gaming with eyefinity won't work though that way.

I came across it while reading 10% Happier by Dan Harris. He spoke of how he was skeptical about the effects that it would have. He started practicing after having a panic attack on live tv (He's a news anchor). It convinced me to try it and I discovered that I had experienced the same thing before. With a "runners high" as well as other moments of my life where my mental state would be clear and relaxed. It's more of a training of how to get to that mental state. How to appreciate life for what it is. A "it is what it is" kind of way at looking at life. I've used "headspace" and "breathe" apps on my phone. Having someone guide you really helps me. I don't do it as much as I want to, but I'm working on it. I suggest that anyone with anxiety try it and see if it helps them.

• Thinking Fast and Slow -- Daniel Kahneman
• The Moral Animal -- Robert Wright
• How to Win Friends and Influence People -- Dale Carnegie
• Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman! -- Richard Feynman

After reading "How To Win Friends and Influence People" at 18, my whole perspective on arguing and debating really changed. There was a chapter that talked about arguing and plainly made the point that it never works to change anyone's mind. At that point in my life I had practically built my plans around being a master arguer/debater. I wanted everyone to understand the things I understood; good intentions, but very misguided. I do my best to never argue with anyone. I will gladly state my opinion and am actually very interested in other people's opinions (as long as they're semi-informed). Part of the problem with arguing at all is that it takes a level of pride to basically want to make other people think like you do. I think the reason a lot of us stay away from arguing on the Internet is because most of the time people are arguing about things they really know nothing about. There's a proverb that says "Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you, Reprove a wise man and he will love you." Sometimes it's just not worth getting involved when you know no ones going to listen regardless of how careful you are with your tone.

I can certainly see your view, however, here is another way to look at it. Just as all those personality types seem happy, ignorance may be bliss. The conclusions you have come to don't exactly cross every person's mind, and may be a sort of blessing in disguise(at least if you look with a certain perspective, which is ultimately the core issue here: perspective). When was the last time you had a problem you couldn't eventually figure out? If you did not achieve a conclusion, did you put the problem on the back burner of your thoughts? When I do this usually I inevitably reach an "Aha!" moment. If not, patience and persistence. Keep doing what you do and amass a plethora of knowledge to hopefully one day become applicable to a simmering collection of potential victories. I find immense joy in finding something out, especially if work is involved( I suggest The Pleasure of Finding Things Out by Richard Feynman). Surely, the world sucks, people are shit-eaters, and every man dies alone. If you had those joys that other personalities get from what they do, doesn't life seem too easy? I, for one, enjoy a little challenge.

Another book to check out-> Viktor Frankl: Man's Search for Meaning

I'd take a look at your sleep schedule.

I'm terrible at going to sleep.

Always one more thing to do .

And even when i do lie down my mind is still racing.

I have found that even a 100 seconds of meditation before bed can help. Sort of "shake the etch-a-sketch" before bed makes it easier to fall asleep.

Also, make sure you have flux installed on every screen device that you look at after sunset - https://justgetflux.com/

>I have insomnia. >I only really need 3-4 hours of sleep a night

http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/brain_basics/understanding_sleep.htm

The best way I found to get a healthy sleeping pattern is get a sleep cycle, force yourself to wake up at a set time every morning and soon your body will send you to sleep when it needs to. Try to avoid backlit screens in the evening, if you still need to use a computer then get flux.

A consumer reports study has shown that frequent consumption of rice exposes you to levels of Arsenic much higher than the ppb limit allowed for safe water consumption.

http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/magazine/2015/01/how-much-arsenic-is-in-your-rice/index.htm

Also, stop smoking so much pot.

Check out this amazing genre map: http://everynoise.com/engenremap.html

Everything on the top/top left can be classified as EDM. If you click on genre name you can listen to a preview of the genre and if you click on the arrows you can see all the producers of the genre.

Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman, by Richard Feynman. I've read it and re-read it; it's been 20 years now, and I was never sure just why it drew me in so much. But now that I'm more interested in psychology, I can see how Feynman's adventures and "darn it, I'm going to do whatever I feel like" attitude really resonate with my less-developed Fi & Se. I would often deny myself those seeming cheats and adventures in life, and through this and some of the active imagination exercises I've done, I think my subconscious has been trying to get this message across to me for a while. Feynman is a healthy model for someone who errs on the side of caution and sees e.g. science as an academic pursuit.

Training is more valuable if he can create training websites, training software, tools programming for all other roles (even as simple as learning others' jobs and making spreadsheet macros that they would like to use), and software development.

PowerShell if you are in a Windows environment.

Use Code Complete and Working Efficiently with Legacy Code, and you can run half the company all on your own. Takes about 5 years without kids, working 80 hours a week (which means doing your job to not get fired, for 40 hours, then 40 hours extra to get the real work done that's not ever acknowledged until it's all ready years later), and only thinking about the company and no other hobbies.

But yeah, anyone can do it if they get a hard-on / get wet from running half a company through automation/assisted-decision-making-tools.

Databases make this possible.

Has a lot to do with being strict with only referencing the data and never hard-coding.

Semantics is your friend.

Some styles mean you only help yourself move up. Some styles move the whole company up. I haven't explored other styles.

Sure, here are some of my favorites:

• Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman, by Richard P. Feynman
• Travels, by Michael Crichton
• The Cuckoo's Egg, by Cliff Stoll
• Donbas, by Jacques Sandulescu
• Iron and Silk, by Mark Salzman
• Boy, by Roald Dahl
• Going Solo, by Roald Dahl
• Escape from Laos, by Dieter Dengler

Try turning down the brightness on your screen as much as possible. I tend to find that my head only hurts if I am reading on a too-bright screen. Personally I use the lowest possible brightness setting (and also f.lux) but this may be too dark for you depending on your monitor and your work environment.

On the meaning of the words? ...the dictionary?
Here. courtesy and chivalry.

r/learnprogramming

I second the person who said try out scratch first. It's an easy simple way to start "thinking like a programmer".

I've used Udemy and Lydna to learn programming however both are paid. If you don't want to pay, there are lots of other sources online (even youtube) that offer great free programming tutorials.

On Lydna there's this "Fundamentals of Programming" course. I HIGHLY recommend that. Just watch that you've got a solid programming foundation already.

As for first language, it honestly doesnt matter. When you learn one, the others are the same but a little different. (Or different but a little similar?). As for language, depends on what you want to do with programming, for example if you want to make iOS apps then learn Swift or Objective-C.

Sounds like gaslighting/narcissism. It’s not an MBTI thing. If it is narcissism, it’s about control. Here’s a book to check out (there are a lot of good ones on the topic): https://www.amazon.com/Gaslighting-Recognize-Manipulative-Emotionally-People/dp/0738284661/

But basically, get out as soon as possible, and zero contact with that individual.

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. I't svery interesting and it gave me some perspective on life.

Starship Troopers by Robert A Heinlein. I recommend this one because I love military scifi and I find his view on society and the questions asked about military service very interesting.

Coming from an INTJ with anxiety issues, I've found that carpe diem is a wrong way to approach life in general but awareness of the moment and of your emotions and internal states is one of the most useful tools an INTJ can get.

I go through some periods where I can't stop thinking everything will go wrong and the many ways they can. I tried planning for all contingencies to overcome it but at the end my nerves and emotions were too overwhelming and I always fell into periods of discomfort where even getting out of bed or trying to do something as simple as eating becomes a challenge.

I established a system made from Allen's Getting Things Done where I plan my day in the night before the next day starts and continually review my life every week. This satisfies my INTJ need for planning and makes me feel in control.

Then across the week I use meditation and self awareness to be in the moment and not worry about stuff that hasn't come yet. If something unexpected comes up, I make use of my notebook where I store all my plans for that week to replan and declutter my mind.

I haven't read Alan Watt's book so I'm not sure what he meant exactly with carpe diem but he may mean it more in the lines of "not worry about the moment" rather than "stop giving a fuck about life and follow your impulses".

A good book on living in the moment yet living with virtue I read recently was A Guide to the Good Life which is based around stoicism.

I started mindfulness meditation three months ago as a way to calm my monkey mind. I had trouble falling asleep each night as thoughts would race and keep me awake. My results are purely anecdotal and likely filled with confirmation bias, but I do fall asleep faster and have less anxiety.

I started by reading "Search Inside Yourself" which is taught at Google. I'm in IT, and several people I respect recommended it as a good place to start. Once I read that, I was willing to give it a try. I used the Calm app for guided meditation. It doesn't embrace any of the "woo woo" spiritual aspects derived from Buddhism. I started using it after listening to Tim Ferriss' podcasts where a majority of his guests used meditation for positive effect.

Oh man, this sounds familiar. I spent the last couple years in a career rut. Since I had a good amount of experience and was known in my industry, I was able to coast quite a bit. I was producing at about 80% capacity while only putting in about 50% of the effort.

I knew I was capable of far more and far better work than I was producing. But the truth is, I didn't care. There were days I would be driving to work thinking that I wish they would just fire me. I thought maybe that would make me happier.

After spending the day at work as a shell of a human being, I would usually go home and drink. A lot. It was the only thing that let me get away from my own rational brain. It was the only thing that provided a sense on calm.

Wake up, go to work, drink, pass out, and repeat. Over and over.

Things are a lot better now. For me the answer was antidepressants. They have helped me get my brain back where it needs to be. Every aspect of my life has improved. I am thinking more clearly and performing much better at work.

I realize there is an aspect of your question that looks like you are looking for career advice. But if I am reading between the lines correctly, it is not the job that is the problem. I would argue that a new job will feel good temporarily, but it won't fix anything if you are depressed.

I don't know you, so if I am way off base, please forgive me. But this sounds like a road I have travelled. Good luck in getting things back on track!

P.S. I will also give a bit of career advice. Check out the book "So Good They Can't Ignore You" by Cal Newport. It gave me some great ideas to implement in my job. It inspired me to create a couple of projects on my own that earned me recognition at work.

Spinoza - Ethics Aristotle - Nicomachean Ethics, Metaphysics, De Anima, logical works Ayn Rand - Atlas Shrugged (yes, I know) Wittgenstein - Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus Schopenhauer - Essays and Aphorisms Nietzsche - The Antichrist, Beyond Good and Evil, On The Genealogy of Morals A.J. Ayer - Language, Truth, and Logic

As an INTJ I love my projects, but often find finishing them difficult once the initial learning process has effectively completed. If you even feel like you're procrastinating on creating something great, I highly recommend "The War of Art" by Steven Pressfield. While other self improvement books focus on telling people things to do (e.g. wake up early, make lists), this book focuses more on creating a state of mind that can help push through mental barriers (known as "resistance") and proposes a model for how an artist works. Even if you're not artistically inclined, I've found that viewing my work as art has help me to push my projects to completions in a way that no other book has. Highly recommended!

• Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman
• Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
• The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
• Manhattan Transfer (Stith)
• Rendezvous with Rama
• The Martian
• White Mountains Trilogy +1, mentioned here by /u/PolloMagnifico

You might enjoy How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Really old book and it can get pretty cheesy, but the way he describes human behavior and people's underlying motivations is timeless.

I would like to throw my hat into the ring for "Search Inside Yourself" which was a program taught at Google by Chade Meng-Tan about meditation and emotional intelligence.

He recommends 2-3 minutes a day as long as you're consistent, and you will see progress. This is around what I've been doing and I really enjoy it thus far!

It's also based in science and facts, which really appealed to me as a fellow engineer. Give it a shot!

I've read a lot of excellent fiction, but I read Ender's Game at least 7 times growing up. Can't wait for the movie!

More recently - The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Getting Things Done, The Heart of Change. In the past decade it's almost all been nonfiction between work, school, and life hacking (I hate the term self help,) books like those I just mentioned.

Have you read Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman? I love Feynman's way of story telling, it's like fact, logic, fact, logic, etc. But a lot of other people feel it is "cold" and "weird". And I in turn find short on fact, full of crap writing annoying, like get to the point already! And my point is, there's quite a big difference between an INTJ's brain and most people's brains.

For those on android, you can use Twilight to help with the issue, which was based off the PC (and Mac/Linux) program F.lux, which is also apparently available on iOS devices now. Just remember that you're still staring at light and likely stimulating your brain by being on your phone and whatnot

Extremely fiscally conservative but moderately liberal. I took a survey of 100 INTJ's on reddit and got their results.

You can go down and see the results. Mostly libertarian/liberal side on the political spectrum.

https://www.surveymonkey.com/results/SM-FVRHGSBJ/

When programming began to bore me, I found that new and interesting problems could rekindle that love of programming.

Maybe take a look into game design and see if that doesn't create some kind of spark in you.

I made a halfhearted attempt at it.

I recorded a few things as a volunteer on Librivox.

I recorded some books for my kids so they can hear me read the same story 75 times without wearing me out. (Life Pro-Tip right here, folks.)

I did a couple things for my church.

I haunted Audible.com's author-narrator marketplace platform for a while, and I think I even submitted a couple of auditions...

... but I've never done any paid work.

I think what you may want is r/misanthropy.

That said, meeting quality people on Tinder is not a thing. at least in the states, it's a hookup app. Is Meetup.com a thing in Finland? Maybe find people who are interested in the same things you are, and you'll find the people you're looking for. And when you are being yourself, you might stumble upon a girl who is interested in you.

Just know that

> it ends just after a few messages, because it becomes apparent that they don't give a shit

it's a crappy "dating" app, don't expect much, but also be careful of lumping all women into one category, the category of "people who don't care about me" (because that's what this sounds like) and

> It just feels like everyone's only interested about their own lives and things that directly affect them.

Yes...this is how humans operate. Even when people do nice things, they are partly doing it because it makes them feel good. There is some inherent selfishness. It's not necessarily a bad thing.

You just need to get out of whatever bubble you are in and find people who are on the same wavelength as you. Start with your interests. Find clubs or something.

​

>pointless memorization and formulae

That's learning math. Using and exploring math is nothing at all like this. It's more like 'let us show some result however possible', in my experience at least. The fun part is that the 'however possible' is for you to imagine, and mathematicians choose explore problems and express results with a certain set of rules and notation.

Sometimes I find myself consulting the ancient texts of Euclid and Pythagoras, and I have successfully gained insight and solutions from reading Euler's works as well. Of course you can study on Wikipedia too, but I prefer to study historical math literature if I can find it... makes me feel like Indiana Jones and stuff.

I'm a programmer too, so I like to solve math problems with code. ProjectEuler.com has a nice growing set of those. I have so much fun exploring different ways to reach a solution, because it's like exploration. There are no special rules or starting points; just a question.

Probably my favorite solution is the one for Problem 28. I noticed a pattern and used some truths I know from geometry and number-theory, and ended up at the fact that such a spiral can be comprised of smaller spirals, which are defined in terms of triangle numbers. Arranging and measuring triangles is the last thing I would have expected to help me solve it. The funny thing is that my solution is an obscure approach, in comparison. I went over other algorithms in the comments for this problem and saw some amazing and elegant solutions, but no one used triangle numbers but me. I just noticed part of a beautiful pattern in the numbers and kept looking at it in different ways, while other commenters saw many more patterns hat led to their solutions.

Have you ever done math other than in school? I didn't realize that I enjoyed math until after school either. The classroom is rarely an accurate simulation.

Reading comments on niche videos on NicoNico. I find it interesting on reading comments on something like What Does the Fox Say, AVGN, movies, etc. etc. The comments can be...interesting.

Edit: Just to be clear, the Japanese comments. I don't know what I'm doing with my life.

It can definitely happen, even later than most people expect.

One of my past bosses didn't get married until she was 39. Up until then, she'd been in a long-term relationship with a guy who was more of a partner for outdoor adventures and going out for a beer than someone who was her soulmate or perfect match -- she was just super-practical about wanting mostly to focus on work and enjoy her free time. When her goals changed, she went to Match.com and followed their recommendation about the best statistical match for her, and they married several months later (way to go, algorithms!).

She and her new husband were like, "Let's be realistic: we're at an age where having a kid is unlikely" so they went through the process to adopt a daughter from China. The adoption process takes months, and in that interim period, they discovered they were pregnant and had a baby, then went to pick up their adoptive daughter, who was only a couple of months older than their biological daughter. The girls are in middle school now and my former boss seems to thoroughly enjoy being their mother and she and her husband do a ton of fun family activities and seem to genuinely enjoy being together.

This. Humanity as a whole is immeasurably better now than at any point in our history. Like not even close. It’s just that we’re bombarded with negative news so frequently via entertainment news and social media. It overwhelms a lot of people.

Unplug and find hobbies and interests you enjoy, and make sure you’re surrounded by positive people. If there’s something you don’t like in your own life, change it.

Fantastic book too:

Abundance: The Future Is Better Than You Think (Exponential Technology Series) https://www.amazon.com/dp/145161683X/

It's exposure. No one consciously sees a pitch for Audible or ExpressVPN and thinks, "Shit, I want that." But the reason we gravitate towards Coca-cola and Pepsi when we think about a carbonated soda is brand exposure.

And it's one of the few legit methods content creators can stay in business these days.

To piggy back on this, I really recommend this book:

https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713/ref=sr_1_1

Despite the name, it doesn't necessarily promote apathy.

But it does promote a more conscious view of what we choose to care about, and a method for self-questioning whether those choices are helpful.

It is a quick and fun read with a lot of interesting ideas.

Without objective meaning, life only has the meaning you create for it.

Read Viktor E. Frankl's book Man's Search for Meaning. It discusses his search for meaning and will to live while in a WWII concentration camp.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man's_Search_for_Meaning

I say just enjoy the ride while you are here. See the world. Have fun experiences. Help other people enjoy their ride. Do good. Love one another.

As a fellow INTJ manager, I would recommend books on philosophy that focus on leadership. We're never gonna be great at emotional intelligence or being a "people person", so focusing too much in that is counterproductive.

My recommendation is to spend time with your employees. They'll understand what your strengths and weaknesses are, and for the most part will forgive the blunt comment because they know you're effective, efficient and are looking out for there best interest.

Some books would be:

The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius

Thus Spoke Zarathustra & Beyond Good and Evil by Friedrich Nietzsche

Let me know if you'll like other book recommendations!

I only recently got into philosopy, and I'm mainly interested in existentialism but I read other thigs as well. I acquired the following books:

• Camus - The Strager, The Plague, The Myth of Sisyphus

• Marcus Aurelius - Meditations (highly recommended)

• Sun Tzu - The Art of War

• Orwell - 1984, Animal farm (not philosophy, but definitely worth the read)

Yet to come:

• Nietzsche - Thus Spoke Zarathustra

• Machiavelli - The Prince

I resonate the best with nonfiction books. These 3 have helped me a ton in dealing with social situations. I would recommend these to anybody, but especially people who have a hard time socially:

1) How to Make Friends and Influence People

2) Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion

3) Thinking, Fast and Slow

I used to feel somewhat similar to what you're describing when I was an early teen (around 14-15). My mom picked up on the fact that something was wrong pretty quickly and what she did completely changed my life. She gave me 2 books; Aristotle's Politics and Nicomachean Ethics.

No way she expected me to understand either of them, but she told me to read them anyways and try to work out the general topics. So I did. Since then, I've read all kinds of texts, both in Philosophy and in other areas as well. But I didn't understand why my mom had given me those books until I hit my twenties.

What she knew I needed was a problem to solve, something I could focus on. My mom knew that what had me down was the fact that I wasn't being challenged (with school, or with my hobbies back then) and that I was feeling down because of that. By giving me something out of my league (and I had a lot of help understanding things (topics from the books, for example) from conversations I had with her) I was always working on something.

TL;DR: All in all, my advise to you is broaden your horizons. Look for/try out new things. You'll eventually become very good (and as an INTJ, it will take very little time) at things that you're doing. The mistake is looking at that as an "end", so to speak. All it means is that you are ready to move on to another new thing. If you hold yourself back though, then that's when depreciation sinks in.

Hopes this helps, and if you want to talk about or want advice on anything in particular, PM me :D

You don't have to censor your thoughts to communicate effectively. You just have to understand who you're talking to, how they communicate, then mimic that back to them. Mostly.

I have been practicing this at work. I only talk to certain people in certain ways. One of my coworkers can handle me being blunt. So I'm blunt with him.

Another one of my coworkers is a little more sensitive, so I tailor my words to get my genuine ideas across in a way that is not so offensive/blunt/direct. It's a fun game for me. I lose when I offend my sensitive friend, and I win whenever I don't.

If you want to read something that helps you to communicate better, you can check out How To Win Friends and Influence People. It may not be exactly what you're looking for, but it's a great framework for how to get people to listen to you. Also, it costs like $1 on iBooks if you have an iPhone. Just look for the older version of it. The newest one is like $8 or something.

Sure INTJs are great loners, but you can't really achieve much on your own. Everyone is going to need to communicate with someone eventually if they want to do anything that actually means something to someone more than just that specific INTJ/person.

edit: formatting and extra info on the book

People see what they want to see.

• The insecure see arrogance.

• Those that want to see a pretty face (so, guys and pretty girls or girls who are stunned) see a bimbo.

• Those who I feel threatened by see a bimbo ("when you are able to act, feign incapacity" - The Art of War) until I feel the claws need to come out.

• Those who I'm able to have intellectual conversation with see a brain.

• Those that annoy me see a pissed off lion on crack.

The quote "when you are able to act, feign incapacity" is my general rule of thumb when it comes to my personality and looks. I like to put on a face that says "pretty but naive" so when people start speaking to me they get completely thrown off. I like to have charisma purely because it makes socialising easy. I turn the charisma on and off. I work in retail so it's important that I go to great lengths to impress my customers because it's really easy to make a customer hate you. It's actually really easy to make everyone hate me because I'm clumsy, I'm candid, when I don't feel like it I don't think about what I say or do. It's the charisma that helps me get away with all of that.

Anna Karenina and War and Peace by Tolstoy, Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, Odyssey by Homer.

Some people think Russian literature is boring but personally I like the writing style and I feel nostalgic to the era that Tolstoy writes.

Used to be really into literature and fiction but recently enjoy a good non fiction better. If I was to pick up a book right now it would be on astrophysics, planets, or relativity. Something that is real.

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Might I suggest reading The Spirit of Kaizen:Creating Lasting Excellence One Small Step at a Time

It really helped me to make some progress toward some of those ideas etc. (Not saying I am perfect by any stretch) but that book and The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles

BOTH have been HUGE in helping me to understand why I have so many projects and ideas just laying around and are unable to execute on them. I still struggle with thinking I don't have the requesit knowledge for some of the ideas and plans, but both books have really helped me understand why.

Good Luck.

I, like many Americans, was forced by the mandate to buy a policy with a premium so high that I can't afford to pay the deductible after copay.

Depending on the survey, either 1 in 4 or 1 in 3 insured Americans refused needed care within the past year because they could not afford it.

In my specific case, we're paying nearly as much in premiums for an ACA plan (which requires the patient to pay a percentage after premium and copay; bronze is 40%, silver is 30%, gold is 20% according to the law) as we used to pay for an HMO, which had no patient percentage to pay.

As a quick example to explain how this happens, let's look at a bronze plan with a $20 copay and $280 monthly premium, and an HMO with a $20 copay and a $300 monthly premium, in the case of a $300 doctor's bill.

HMO: $300 + $20 = $320

Bronze: $280 + $20 + 40%($280) = $412

So if you have, say, $350/month that you can spend on health care, you have gone from taking the doctor's visit to refusing it.

Now imagine it's an outpatient procedure that costs $2,000.

HMO: $300 + $20 = $320

Bronze: $280 + $20 + 40%($1,980) = $1,092

But don't just take my word for it:

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/15/us/politics/many-say-high-deductibles-make-their-health-law-insurance-all-but-useless.html

Now here's the "fun" part. If you don't have the policy, maybe you'll be able to afford care. But first you'll have to pay a 'tax' to the government for not having the policy, and if something serious does happen, you're on the hook for all of it. So if you have to choose between getting care for the smaller things and being able to afford a more catastrophic event, what do you pick? How lucky do you feel? The old high-deductible, low-premium plans that people in your situation used to live by are now 'illegal' under the ACA and you will still need to pay the fine, if you can even find a company willing to offer them.

Oh, we'd have so much fun in a book club together!

HST wrote in such a bright, vivid, tangible way. I'm not sure if that was his inborn talent or the copious amounts of LSD he consumed, but he's a wonder. His articles for Rolling Stone and even ESPN are fabulous, too. Here's a tribute to him with links to a bunch of his articles, including the most enjoyable Kentucky Derby write up in the history of the world. http://www.openculture.com/2013/12/read-10-free-articles-by-hunter-s-thompson.html

Jeffrey Eugenides sparks such intimacy as a reader, almost like you're living in the skin of his characters. If you haven't read it, Middlesex is a masterwork.

Nobody does prose like Stephen King. The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon was beyond uncomfortable just because he created such a realistic child. That said, The Shining will always be my favorite. It was the first book of his that I'd read and I couldn't believe anyone wrote like that (I was 13).

here's my profile: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/6959690-francisco

I read a lot of fantasy, science fiction and some long form journalism

My Kindle has been broken for a while which has kept me from reading, sadly. Thankfully i'm getting a new one soon

Female INTJ. I do yoga with the iPad/iPhone app Fitstar Yoga. I do yoga every other day, sometimes every day, depending on how my body is feeling. I started doing yoga with Fitstar about a month ago, and am already getting some rock hard thigh muscles, and baby biceps. :) It also is the first time I've enjoyed exercising, and am sticking with it besides the workouts I was forced to do when I was enlisted in the Air Force.

Besides exercising, I've been calorie counting with MyFitnessPal. I've lost 15 lbs so far, and have 5 more to go. I'm 5'4" and started at 140 lbs, and am now at 125 lbs. I wasn't overweight when I started, but I was on an upwards trend of gaining weight and wanted to stop.

> I was looking at trying out computer programming. I just don't know where to start.

Excellent!

Here are the gigs you can bid for: https://www.upwork.com/o/jobs/browse/c/web-mobile-software-dev/ You need to maintain your good reputation by doing a good job, so start with low hourly rate.

Here are the classes you can take. https://www.coursera.org/courses?domains=computer-science

Coursera is just one such web site.

I recommend starting with Python - super easy to learn and in demand.

I'm fine with sunny days, but as long as it's below 70° F (since I get light-sensitive migraines very often and I hate the heat).

While I like the rain, pre-storm time is my absolute favorite. Have you heard of Rainy Mood? I love the sound of rain—it's my favorite type of white noise.

When my SO & I split and the next 3 1/2 days were brutal. I experienced such intense emotions I had no idea I was even capable of. I cried non stop. My family was worried that something really terrible had happened that I wasn't speaking about. I had to walk away from my last week of work because I couldn't keep it together. After that I was numb. I cut off all emotions and continued with life. I guess this has always been my personal mindset.

It's going to be hard & rough, but let the emotions out. You'll feel a little out of place for a while, but fill that with bettering yourself. Find a new hobby, read new books, visit art museums, go out to new places to eat, try new things, meet entirely new people, take a trip is possible; just anything to distract yourself.

If you need to talk send me a PM.

Good luck.

> Maybe I just seek some motivation to not commit suicide.

As someone who tried to commit suicide please don't. Check out r/suicidewatch instead they can be very helpful. If you don't like reddit you can go to https://www.7cups.com they also help with this type of stuff.

I don't know what else to say, and I am bad at emotional support, but I am pretty confident your fellow INTJs will be helpful.

If you're looking for a guided mediation, Headspace an app has a really great ten day beginners set. It's ten minuets everyday and its recommended to do this at the beginning of your day. I would advise to make sure you have plenty of time and don't feel rushed before you begin, because that prevents you from actually meditating.

I always hit a wall during this part of the semester, to cope, I skip a class here and there, if I can get away with it. I usually save all of my skips for this time of the year because I know its the time I burn out. Also, try not to feel so guilty for not doing the things you did at the beginning of the semester, start small! Like maybe go to the gym for a quick workout, and ease yourself back into it.

Good luck, I hope all goes well.

Anyone who can install something on my computer will probably know to not do that already. First of all, I have one of these keyboards. Secondly, not many people can use a command-line package manager, much less compile+install from source.

Nice! That kind of organization and problem solving would be a balm to my soul. I'll give it a shot myself.

Ever heard of workflowy? It's a pc/mobile platform that's perfect for those kind of frameworks. I use it all the time to organize my thoughts, plans, and lists. https://workflowy.com/

• Try Bullet Journal or Evernote, or a good old-fashioned journal-planner combo.

• Get a whiteboard.

• Learn how be better and/or more efficient one topic/subject at a time.

• Profit.

I use Trello (which is available on anything that connects online) with a layout inspired from the book Getting Things Done.

don't build up any animosity toward them because you're going to become an angry person.

spare yourself the time and energy of analyzing them.

and the angrier you are the less people will like you.

so if you do want to socialize with someone (or have a girlfriend/boyfriend), don't cultivate bitterness. a good outlet is studying people's facial expressions, tone of voice, etc.. a fun party trick you can learn is neuro linguistic programming's mirroring of body language, voice tone, even breathing patterns (https://www.amazon.com/Introducing-NLP-Psychological-Understanding-Neuro-Linguistic/dp/1573244988/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=introducing+nlp&qid=1626696619&sr=8-3). i think this is interesting on its own, but it'll help with your business negotiations too.

other than that, just put a mental barrier between you and them. don't give them a second thought if you can help it.

This might help: https://www.amazon.com.au/Art-War-Sun-Tzu/dp/0804830800/ref=asc_df_0804830800/?tag=googleshopdsk-22&linkCode=df0&hvadid=341774347858&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=14724972819193846415&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9071336&hvtargid=pla-436882106537&psc=1

I enjoyed the series very much. Highly recommended.

You might also enjoy reading the novel it's based on by Walter Tevis. Queens Gambit

Yes, it costs, as low as $6.07 and is readily available on Amazon

There are also lectures and other videos abound

Thanks, I am working it :)

I've written some short stories in r/hfy, check them out if you are interested in fantasy/sci-fi.

This is my novel on Amazon.

Feh, pathetic. This is the INTJ sub. You are way out of your league on here.

• I have watched Gravity Falls and Rick and Morty!

• This is my daily warmup, son.

• Who the fuck needs to solve phd math problems? I just look at them and intuitively know the answer because I'm such an advanced god-tier INTJ.

• I am also aloof, stoic, and emotionless. I'm basically spock, if spock were a literal robot.

• I'm also atheist and a liberterian. But I'm actually sapiosexual, which means I can only be attracted to smart people. This makes me objectively better than you.

• I've developed seven philosophical ideologies that are still being debated at Harvard because of how influential they are.

• I am fluent in Ancient Latin

AND THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM!!

You may bow.

Seriously though, this sub has zero sense of humor sometimes. I feel like Kahless yelling "Is there no joy left in the Klingon heart!?"

ooohhh, I've spent some time on this in the past.

I loosely base my Todoist lists on David Allen's Getting Things Done book (GTD). Todoist works in Outlook (to save emails) as well as on Android and web

Evernote to store scanned letters, invoices, train tickets - with reminders to show the important document on the day (such as train ticket collection number, hospital appointment etc)

Apps (in no order whatsoever - Android):

Textra - for SMS

AquaMail - for email

Headspace for meditation - 10 minutes on the train each morning

DoggCatcher - Android podcast

BBC IPlayer Radio - for BBC podcasters

LinkedIn Learning (was Lynda) - for 20+ minutes on the train learning

Feedly - moving to innoreader shortly as it's cheaper for premium

LastPass - possibly my best time saver ever

Private Internet Access VPN

Daylio - mobile app to track moods and activities, really simple to use and is private

Fitbit Ionic + Fitbit to track sleep and activity levels

Monefy Pro Android app to track spending / budget

Blinkist - excellent way to understand non-fiction books in a condensed way

I do also have Pocket and Medium although I don't use it as much as I'd like, as I spend far too much time browsing Reddit (which I use Relay Pro)

Also - Google Play Music / Youtube Premium, which I share.

nVidia Shield TV and Google Home

Read Epictetus and Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. People cannot attack you, unless you feel attacked. Reject your sense of injury, and the injury itself disappears.

> You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.

Fast Food Nation — I immediately ceased consuming all American fast food and most processed food.

The Boomer Bible — This book was the final nail in the coffin in terms of my religiosity. I became a full-on atheist after reading it.

The Art of War and The Book of Five Rings — Both books enhanced my strategic thinking processes and caused me to alter my approach to adversarial relationships.

A People's History of the United States — Completely changed my outlook on the history and culture of the States, and set me on the path toward moving to another country.

A Brief History of Time and The Taoist Classics — Both books gave me a much more dispassionate and detached view of human affairs, each for different reasons.

Fight Club — This came out when I was in my early 20s, so I spent several years as an eye-rollingly nihilistic little fuckwit as a result.

The Dark Tower series — I picked up a distressing number of Roland's behavioural and linguistic idiosyncrasies from these books.

Leadership is a combination of skills, traditional "leadership" of teams is probably the 3rd one to master once you're good with individuals:

Basic dealing with individuals: * How to Win Friends & Influence People * Psychology of Influence

Communicating effectively to groups: * Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive & Others Die * So What? How to communicate what really matters

Leading & Motivating Teams: * Tribal Leadership * Either of Stan Slap's two books

"Mindfulness in Plain English" is a solid book for meditation, I'd recommend giving it a shot. There's a free version online, too!

Kind of on the opposite end of the spectrum, but I liked "The Subtle Art of not giving a Fuck" too. It covers this problem from a different perspective.

And I'd recommend trying to get some meditation in every morning. Even 5-10 minutes would be much better than nothing. It's a good way to start your day mindfully and get the momentum rolling your way.

This isn't exactly along the lines of your existing list, but consider "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance." It's given me a few different ways of thinking about things that might prove beneficial.

It sounds like you stumbled into stoicism! It's a particularly good philosophy for logically minded individuals, and you have a lot of the basic tenants above. "A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy", is a good short starter book if you want to round that out.

Thanks for sharing! :)

On the subject of Philosophy, I have been there, spending nights contemplating mortality thinking I was "doing philosophy".

Thinking about Philosophy only late at night rarely makes meaningful progress. It is the hamster wheel of transportation devices.

The good news here, is that human's mortal condition hasn't changed all that much, and there are thousands of years of the smartest people who ever lived who wrote books on the subject, to try to give you some guidance.

If you wanna learn Philosophy, learn Philosophy:

A good way to ease into Philosophy are many of the books couched in fictional narratives.

Here are some from reddit's top 200 book list: https://www.goodreads.com/shelf/show/reddit-top-200

• Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse
• The Stranger by Albert Camus
• Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

I know it seems like you should just be able to "logic" the world out.

But the more I experience of the world, the more I learn that everything is more complex than I first assumed.

As an example, kitchen cabinets.

Redid our kitchen, measured it, went to a store with the dimensions, used a CAD program to exactly order custom fitted cabinets for my space.

Installing them should be trivial right? Monkey level work?

Turns out, no, because the walls and floor are not perfectly square or flat.

So the actual process of installing kitchen cabinets involves a whole lot of grunting, shimming and fiddly work and tricks that you just wouldn't ever think of.

Luckily, I had a neighbor who had been doing it for decades helping. So I didn't have to relearn all of that through the iterative pain of doing it the "obvious" (and wrong) way.

Take advantage of all those people going back Millenia trying to help you with some non-obvious tips on one of the oldest and hardest problems humans have. There's no shame in making use of an answer somebody else came up with.

Fiction:

LotR, of course.

The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Patrick O'Brian's 'Aubrey & Maturin' series, starting with Master and Commander (the film was a travesty)

C. S. Forester's Hornblower books (a very recognisable character, for INTJs, I'd think)

The Count of Monte Cristo

Just about any of Pratchett's Diskworld novels.

The short stories of Lord Dunsany, and of H. G Wells

Catch 22

Three Men in a Boat

Wilson & Shea's Illuminatus trilogy

Non-Fiction

Graves' The Greek Myths

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

Godel, Escher & Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid

Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything

Chomsky's Necessary Illusions

Marcus Aurelius - Meditations

Frasier - The Golden Bough (almost completely discredited, but still fascinating as a historical item, for both the sweep of thought, and sheer quantity of examples)

I have 3:

Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman: psychology, outlines the way we think, biases, heuristics, etc.

The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and in Business by Charles Duhugg: explains how to build habits and why they are important.

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig: philosophy, get the audiobook!

The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and In Business by Charles Duhigg

TL;DR: You have a set amount of willpower and energy that you are able to exert every day, but when you make something a habit, it stops taking from your willpower.

This book has some incredibly useful advice for feeling more energetic every day and getting more done.

• Ender's Game

• How I Stopped Being a Jew

• Road to Mars

• Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

• Trauma and Recovery

• Debt: the First 5,000 years

• The Bible

• The Autobiography of Malcolm X

• Song of Solomon

• How to be Black

• The Complete set of Calvin and Hobbes

• Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

  The trick is to let your Ni go wild.

"Now some one may say that all men desire the apparent good, but have no control over the appearance, but the end appears to each man ina form answering to his character. We reply that if each man is somehow responsible for his state of mind, he will also be himself somehow responsible for the appearance; but if not, no one is responsible for his own evildoing, but every one does evil acts through ignorance of the end, thinking that by these he will get what is best, and the aiming at the end is not self-chosen but one must be born with an eye, as it were, by which to judge rightly and choose what is truly good, and he is well endowed by nature who is well endowed with this. For it is what is greatest and most noble, and what we cannot get or learn from another, but must have just such as it was when given us at birth, and to be well and nobly endowed with this will be perfect and true excellence of natural endowment. If this is true, then, how will virtue be more voluntary than vice? To both men alike, the good and the bad, the end appears and is fixed by nature or however it may be, and it is by referring everything else to this that men do whatever they do. " Nicomachean Ethics, aristotle

On another note, I began reading "Thinking, Fast and Slow" by Daniel Kahneman about how our brains function and manage different processes. It explores what types of tasks are processed subconsciously and which require more active conscious thinking. It's a fascinating read so far, exploring some of the processes similar to what you're describing.