What are /r/offmychest's favorite Products & Services?

From 3.5 billion Reddit comments

If you really want to know what's going on your home network you could just log the internet traffic. If her computer is uploading large amounts of data then that would suggest her camgirling. And you could verify it by looking up the IP address that the data is being sent to. Example

For the girl, consider this, it’s a learn how to play Flute with songs from Frozen.

Frozen - Recorder Fun!: Pack with Songbook and Instrument https://www.amazon.com/dp/1495013057/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fzo-BbF6N2GX0

This reminds me of a story from Viktor Frankl’s book "Man's Search for Meaning" -- > Once, an elderly general practitioner consulted me because of his severe depression. He could not overcome the loss of his wife who had died two years before and whom he had loved above all else. Now, how can I help him? What should I tell him? Well, I refrained from telling him anything but instead confronted him with the question, “What would have happened, Doctor, if you had died first, and your wife would have had to survive you?” “Oh,” he said, “for her this would have been terrible; how she would have suffered!” Whereupon I replied, “You see, Doctor, such a suffering has been spared her, and it was you who have spared her this suffering — to be sure, at the price that now you have to survive and mourn her.” He said no word but shook my hand and calmly left my office. In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.

It also reminds me of a recurring quote from Robert Jordan's "Wheel of Time" series -- > Duty is heavy as a mountain, death is light as a feather.

So many people worry about dying. But in a situation like yours, living is harder. You've been thrust into a terrible situation where you now have a huge burden of responsibility that you have to shoulder alone. I don't think this thought you have is selfish, I think it's normal. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I can only hope things will get better, though it will surely take a long time.

A rainbow butterfly?

Agree. Private Internet Access is my go to. Safe, cheap, and pretty user friendly, but there are a bunch out there. I've never had problem since getting a VPN and routing my torrenting through it.

Edit: Since so many people are asking for it here is the website for the VPN I use. It's about $40 for a year or you can pay monthly but yearly is the best deal.

I'm going to interpret that as you actually wanting to know, so here you go:

Baby menstruation https://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/your-newborn-girls-genitals-bleeding

Witch's milk: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Witch%27s_milk

Oh, and while we're at it: during the process of the nervous system being constructed, the foetal brain 'tests' various connections and functions. This includes boy foeti getting tiny little erections in the womb.

Sex ed in Sweden is part of the biology curriculum and does not pull any punches. I'm surprised our birth rate isn't lower than it is.

There are TONS of people who struggle with it. It's disappointing that she wasn't more understanding. I HIGHLY recommend, as a very first and cost effective step, reading Marie Kondo's book . It discusses the psychology and importance of a clean and tidy space. Her Netflix series is really great, but doesn't conquer the same issues as her book.

This book discusses the importance of a clean sink and the impact it has on everything else in your space! Good luck!!

We use this powder with this fish oil

I dunno. I think Bing Images is pretty damn good...and I like Bing's front page image gallery.

If you want to have the Google search power without giving up all your privacy, I suggest using Disconnect Search.

This has saved me from everything that has happened to me. Absolutely everything. It's meditation - try the free one. Even if it doesn't make sense at first, it's worth a try. I purchased all of them and the fear and pain ones really help, too. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.curestress

Edit: spelling

Pick up this book immediately: https://www.amazon.com/Dude-Youre-Gonna-Be-Dad/dp/1440505365/ref=sr_1_2?crid=YV792GQITCOB&keywords=dude+youre+going+to+be+a+dad&qid=1554477971&s=gateway&sprefix=dude+you%2Caps%2C147&sr=8-2

​

It is really well written and addresses a lot of topics that you should hear about before it becomes an issue.

You can install an awesome plugin to hide all sorts of things you don't want to see.

With FB Purity you could choose to hide all articles posted by friends, and you'll still see their statuses or photos, therefore be able to keep in contact.

http://www.fbpurity.com

It's also awesome for hiding annoying trends by adding filters for things like "ALS" or "ice bucket" for example.

1) The institution is blaming healthcare for other bottom line decisions and found some reason they didn't want to pursue the myriad benefits and/or other solutions but felt this would be a better thing to allege than the truth.

2) Insurance companies are greedy and trying to squeeze whatever they can, while they can.

3) There are a lot of ways around this.

4) See #1.

I did a ton of research when we were dealing with bedbugs (fortunately, it turned out my apartment was spared, but knowing they were next door made me not want to risk it). Cimexa is supposed to be much more effective. It's silica instead of diatoms. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0085HRWI8/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_SuOdCbKFT8PRC

Since you can't find a therapist at the moment, I recommend you read this article about an online counseling group called 7 Cups of Tea.

They have trained counselors that will chat with you about traumatic issues. I actually tried this yesterday and someone talked to me immediately. It's free, although they do ask for donations if you have the means to give.

Talking to people about troubling things like this is really important for the healing process. It's like every time you say it out loud, it has a little less power over you.

Good luck and stay strong.

https://www.coursera.org/

Free online courses, some with certificates. Some from top universities. You can take them in your spare time, for the most part. I'm not soliciting or anything -- I found them through someones post on reddit and I've taken and enjoyed a few courses.

I pretty much don't have anything else to say, but I hope this helps?

Most people I know see it as meaning black person. It originally refers to one, and has always implied black inferiority.

The word is used to rationalize hatred of black culture by distancing it from the hatred of physical appearance, which carries more emotional baggage. It's okay because it's not the people, but their actions, right?

No. Culture is as much a part of one's identity as is skin color. People who "hate niggers" often openly hate their language (which they view as incorrect English, rather than a different dialect or language) and the way they dress (which is often because of low socioeconomic status), among other indicators of poverty and cultural identity. Basically, they hate them for being poor and non-white.

/r/pcmasterrace is a circlejerk subreddit. Most or nearly all of what is said there is tongue in cheek with a heavy dose of sarcasm. If you want actual discussion on PC gaming try /r/pcgaming

However:

> "YOU DON'T GET 1080P/60FPS!" On most games, I do.

^^http://www.ign.com/wikis/xbox-one/PS4_vs._Xbox_One_Native_Resolutions_and_Framerates

While 30/45 is technically "most", quite a few of the more graphically-intensive triple A titles like Watch Dogs, Destiny etc. are not hitting 1080p60.

I'm turning 27 next month. I still have my parents and don't have a job despite having a BA, and just everything is coming up crap lately. And I'm not going to say that I'm completely out of the depression hole. That'd be a complete lie. But there are definitely things worth living for besides Pokemon.

There's fresh air, art, one good friend, one good family member, anyone who might depend upon you, new opportunities, recycling old opportunities, finding new ways to make yourself smile (I'm surprised to find that there are still new ways to do this!), new places to be, new perspectives to be had, different things, same things, better things, good things, great things, many things.

Let me share a site that I use now that's been helping me. Maybe you've heard of it, maybe not, but it's a different way at tackling our own serious problems. Give it a shot. It's called SuperBetter.

“All warfare is based on deception. Hence, when we are able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must appear inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near.” ― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Here's a good resource. It's incomplete and a little dated but it should be a good start.

Once you've found a few subs you like, hunt around on their sidebars for others in a similar vein.

I'd also recommend subscribing to some of the subreddits that highlight quality posts from other subs, like r/DepthHub, r/bestof, and r/TLDR. When you find one on there that interests you, go to the sub it came from and see if the rest of the content there merits your subscription.

There is a fine balance between what you are eating, how much you eat, and how often you eat. But if you want to really get down to it, it is just basic math. If you consume less calories than your body burns throughout the day, you should lose weight. Have you ever used any apps like Myfitnesspal to show you exactly how many calories you actually do consume each day? I know I thought I had a pretty good idea what I was putting in my body until I started really looking at what I was eating....I was shocked to see that I really didn't have a clue.

> !Bang commands perform your searches directly on other search engines. Sometimes you know you want to go directly to another site to search, and these commands save you steps in doing so.

> For example, suppose you wanted to search Amazon.com for 'bags'. In that case, you could just enter '!a bags' into DuckDuckGo and we'll take you right to the correct search results page on Amazon.com.

> If you've adjusted your region in the Settings menu, your !bangs will automatically direct you to the site for that region, if available. For example, if Germany is selected in the Settings, then !amazon will go to amazon.de.

> For more information and the full categorized list of !bang commands (over a thousand), check out our !bang page.

Another article about it: http://thenextweb.com/opinion/2015/07/03/why-i-switched-from-google-to-duckduckgo-its-all-about-the-bangs/

I use the DuckDuckGo mobile app, mostly with !g.

Your friend is having a psychosis episode. I've had a few of them myself. Psychedelics can definitely trigger psychosis.

He is starting a manic phase with delusions of grandeur. Manic phases can be extremely destructive as people lose touch with reality. They often quit their jobs suddenly, stop sleeping, become hypersexual and cheat on significant others, spend themselves into bankruptcy, become impulsive and violent as they lose control of emotions, and chase after completely unrealistic ideas based on the grandiose delusion that they are extremely talented even after just starting an activity.

The worst part is, when the manic bubble pops, it often leads to a very deep depression, which is a danger zone for suicidal thoughts and actions.

Your friend needs to stop the psychedelics immediately and seek psychiatric help immediately. Things can get really dangerous if he doesn't stop.

I think the comment should be understood in the context of both the extensive (though by no means unanimous) support for Trump among American evangelicals, and things like Session's use of bible quotes to defend current American immigration policies. ( https://edition.cnn.com/2018/06/15/us/sessions-bible-quote-apostle-paul/index.html ) Whether or not current American immigration policies are racist, Sessions has given a (partially, at least) religious defense of them. Thus, if indeed these policies are racist, it would be fair to say that Sessions used religion to defend his racism.

A lot of his supporters will try to explain away all of the awful things he said on the campaign trail so I won't bother with that, but as a landlord he illegally discriminated against minorities.

Sounds like you really want to do it, which is the hardest part. Right on. Now do yourself a favor and don't fall for any gimmicky diets. It's pure math, and amazingly simple.

1. Compute your TDEE
   
2. Set a target calorie intake to your TDEE - 500. (3500 = 1 pound)
   
3. Log your calories and weight religiously on myfitnesspal
   
4. Re-compute your TDEE occasionally, as it changes with your weight.
   

If you want to lose weight faster, just change your target numbers. 1000 under TDEE per day is two pounds a week. Enjoy!

Edit: Oh, and drop by /r/loseit and read the FAQ.

At the beginning of the year my best friend of 20 years passed away suddenly. It has been 3 months and it isn't much easier. You won't get over the pain of the loss. You just get used to it, like the space left by a missing tooth.

Right now focus on self care and helping your friend's family. Talk to anyone when you are ready, share your feelings and memories with others.

Lastly, this article helped me. I'll leave it here for when you are ready to read it. It is about dealing with the grief of your loss.

https://lifehacker.com/the-things-about-grief-nobody-tells-you-1383119181

Two games I'd recommend and which have helped me are the Miracle Modus app (for iOS and Android), written to help sensory overload for autistic people but which I've used for anxiety and ADHD, and a Dual N-Back game, of which there are a few different options but a good desktop version is at http://brainworkshop.sourceforge.net

You could not be more wrong, read a book called Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman. He describes how people are influenced by hearing or seeing an opinoin repeatedly, how it changes thier opinion without thier knowledge.

Jesus.

I am so sorry you have to deal with this bullshit.

I know lots of people can suffer from issues with self-esteem, but I'm sure it harder when you have to deal with a bunch of racist assholes on top of it.

I don't know if this is helpful, but one thing that always takes the sting out of stupid things I read on Reddit, is that most of these people don't know what the fuck they're talking about. They're rooted in their own little bubble and think they're so wise and intelligent, meanwhile, they're wearing blinders they don't even know they have.

All those people who can't see how beautiful you are because of their racism?

It's their loss. They're going to go on to lives where they lie to themselves, blame their problems on other people, and don't understand the world because they're limiting themselves to their little bit of it.

It's total bullshit that this narrative still persists and that so many black, latinx, asian, and middle-eastern people are being overlooked for their value. It's slowly changing, but it still sucks and it's still bullshit.

My suggestion would be, to the extent you can, stop subjecting yourself to the threads, forums, and communities that are filled with these toxic ideas and attitudes. You gain nothing and they don't deserve your attention or your time. Instead, surround yourself with communities and feeds that celebrate diversity, that showcase undervalued beauty, and that support everyone.

I hope you can find a way to accept your beauty, reject all the bullshit the world is throwing at you, and live your life with joy.

(Two subs I like and a suggestion for Tumblr) r/blackladies r/ebonyimagination https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/black-is-beautiful

Louis Theroux video for the interested, version one. I'm in the UK, and this worked for me.

Louis Theroux video for the interested, version two. This didn't work in the UK, but it's YouTube, so may be more accessible on other platforms.

Video approx 1 hour long.

EDIT: the links work now, and formatting.

I wouldn't be too happy with that, mainly because of privacy reasons. I'd rather have them use something like DuckDuckGo, but others would prefer Google's more personal results etc. If you use the search-option often there's probably some kind of browser extension that allows you to automatically use a specific search engine. If there isn't it shouldn't be too hard to make.

EDIT: I'd appreciate it if the people downvoting me would reply as well. What did I do wrong?

Lazy eye and bald? No biggie. That will keep the false creeps away from you and genuine people open to you. As time goes on you can have the surgery to correct the lazy eye...or not. Either way is OK. Do you have good hygiene including oral hygiene? That is what counts.

Have you a list of questions to ask new folks you meet? Try googling "35 questions to fall in love." You can use the first 5 to 10 to start conversations.

Have you tried Meetup.com? Great way to meet people with similar interests. Good luck. You will get there.

Please please please listen to me OP. I know EXACTLY what he needs. He needs to read a book. Look, I get it, you are mad because how the fuck is a book supposed to solve this. Trust me, its a long term solution. You can't always look out for him. He needs to learn to stand on his feet. Please please please buy that on amazon right now.

The book : Way of the Warrior Kid. (https://www.amazon.com/Way-Warrior-Kid-Wimpy-Novel/dp/1250158613/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1543363684&sr=8-1&keywords=way+of+the+warrior+kid)

This is a book for kids but I read it coz i have audible and it was free. This is exactly what he needs. And then the sequel book : Marc mission. Trust me on this.

Here is the story of a person who read this book and is an older guy : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoVu2LmGtSU

Just trust me. This will solve all problems.

You can buy bulk underwear packs from Amazon or Ebay. You pick the size and cut, but don't pick the actual patterns or designs. If you're like me and don't really care what color your undies are, it's the ultimate solution.

Check it: 28 underwears for $32: https://www.amazon.com/Morvia-Variety-G-String-Assorted-Underwear/dp/B07L4FXGRY/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=women%27s%2Bunderwear%2Bpack%2Bvariety&qid=1594781216&sr=8-2&th=1&psc=1

Anyone reading this that thinks they can't do the same thing, please do yourself a favor and read Mindset by Carol Dweck PhD. You can do whatever you put your mind to if you work hard to develop the skills necessary to succeed. It's a thoughtful book backed by empirical research.

OP - well done. You're an inspiration to me and many others, I'm sure. Congratulations on your success following some truly trying times in your youth! Good luck!

You need to read 'The Autobiography of Malcolm X'.

All of that shit about blacks being inferior, and white people being better, is just that: Shit. It's fed to black people by white people to keep them compliant. It's part of this tremendous flood of bullshit that's been going on since the white man first took the black man from Africa and made him a slave. It's been such an effective propaganda campaign that black people believe it too, and we repeat it to each other, and we believe it so much we act as if it's true.

Don't let the white man take up residence inside your head.

Hey OP, if you have an android phone try out this alarm app: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.kog.alarmclock

I usually sleep through alarms but I have yet to sleep through an alarm that I set through this app

This is very very important reading for both you and your SO. It is about people in his situation and includes first hand accounts of what it is like. There are a number of support groups available also. https://medium.com/matter/youre-16-youre-a-pedophile-you-dont-want-to-hurt-anyone-what-do-you-do-now-e11ce4b88bdb

Fuck that guy. Also, please tell me you unfriended/blocked that jackass.! P.s. here's a cool comic that breaks down vaccines for people who might be on the fence :)

Everyone loves comics https://medium.com/the-nib/vaccines-work-here-are-the-facts-5de3d0f9ffd0

I did. It really helps. I'm friends with tons of Europeans and holy shit all of them are gloating about how stupid Americans are.

I've taken up spanish on Duolingo. Try it, it's free https://www.duolingo.com

>I will take revenge on all of the people trying to ruin my life before it even gets going!

Don't make it personal, about the individuals who are pursuing you. We live in a system that skews the hell out of morality, and has made things like medical care profitable commodities, and to most of us who live in it that seems normal because it's what we know.

Oppose the capitalist system, and help build something new. You're already raising your voice and that's a good thing.

In the meantime, though, seriously sign up on the Federal health insurance exchange TODAY because it's the last day. You should be heavily subsidized with your income. Your college might have a subsidized plan too, if that doesn't work.

there is a really comprehensive list (albeit from two years ago) on that reddit post. quick link for custom search engine for ebooks with some of those trackers, for the lazy.

Rip off the bandaid man. Here is the link to delete your account. No one ever laid on their deathbed and thought "I wish I had played more World of Warcraft". I do bet a few people have wished they drank less and tried more, you don't have to be that guy. Do it, no excuses, delete that shit and start taking the ten thousand little steps its going to take to be the person you want to be.

Edit- here if you want to play games and get better try this game - https://www.superbetter.com/

Found your problem. Canada. https://twitter.com/tobi_addams

If you got out of Sherwood Forest and into an actual metro area I think you'd do a lot better.

Also … don't know if you saw this or not, but it's amazing. http://youtube.com/watch?v=iWYqsaJk_U8

> ...the VERY rich drive old cars, because they don't see any need to get a new one as long as the old one runs fine. They wear scruffy, well-loved clothes. They live in old houses and don't worry about maintenance...

That entire theme is the subject of the book The Millionaire Next Door. The researchers found that is how most of the 'liquid' wealthy live. Never buy a brand new car. Living in a sensible 30 year old single-family home, etc.

Grab one of these if you can, and fill it out. The best things are hand written. Plus, it has prompting questions so you don't get "stuck"

Mom, Share Your Life With Me Heirloom Edition

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1563834154/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_.kkVub0ZGFDFX

Thank you, really, for your kind words. I need to read more of his work, but the one I'm most familiar with is called It's Kind of a Funny Story. My personal experience through it aside, it's a fantastic book, I really would recommend checking it out. Tragically he committed suicide around the time I was released from the hospital, and I'm still coming to terms with that - how these incredible, celebrated authors like Ned Vizzini and David Foster Wallace can so clearly and I think bravely elucidate their darkest and most personal experiences, and even knowing the impact they have still succumb to their illnesses. It's a bit of wet wood in that already struggling fire, y'know? :/

Though you clearly don't want to, you apparently can field the bills on your own. Make that clear to him. Right now you're 100% losing on this deal. You have to share your personal space, your food, your money via utilities and rent, etc. with him and it sounds like he's not contributing at all. Your situation would only change for the better if you kicked him out. (Is his name on the lease btw?)

I think an ultimatum is in order to find a job or get out by x point. Considering retail is hiring temporary workers for the holiday and even if he can't find anything IRL he can get ~minimum wage from mturk without ever needing to put on pants I think a short time period is reasonable, but that's just me.

That sucks. I don't know what makes you laugh, but I found this pretty funny: Foo Fighters Coloring Book.

I know when I get down, I find that going for a long run helps me out. Like I just accomplished something that a bunch of people can't do because they aren't as awesome as I am. I'm sure there is something that you dominate at. Use your talents to show the world what you can do. Reddit loves that shit.

This... Will take you far. Never lose this ambition, this attitude, this reality of who you are. Change for no one, don't back down. Alas, we have enough doctors. Follow your heart and write. Create. Speak! Never let anyone manipulate you. Yay

Actually only about 18% of hetero males do it (i havent read thru the whole study) - https://www.researchgate.net/publication/266778639_Heterosexual_anal_sex_research_Using_mixed-methods_to_understand_sexual_behavior

Basically, if you have a calendar, draw a line on it connecting the number to the next day every day that you manage to meet your goal. Be kind to yourself at first- let's say "don't spend more than an hour on Reddit per day."

Use some of these- http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/5-tools-to-track-how-you-spend-time-online/

to check how long you're spending on it, or just block yourself from Reddit completely before xAM, or after 11pm when you should be sleeping.

Each day, the chain gets longer, and you have a visual reminder of how well (or how poorly) you're doing. Put it next to your computer or on your door/ in a place that you look at frequently if you can, to give yourself even more of a boost to keep working productively.

If you have a smartphone, don't use Reddit on it. At all.

You just have to remind yourself that no matter how fun this site is, it's not worth wasting your life on. There are many, many more interesting things out there, and if it's affecting your quality of life, why bother?

Totally relevant!

Dashlane has a way to safely share. Basically heaven forbid something happen to my BF. He has set it up so I can gain access. Basically if he passes away or something else horrible happens, I can request his PWs from Dashlane. It sends him an e-mail. He set it up for 3 days, I think. Then if he doesn't respond in X timeframe, it will allow me access. Haven't used it obviously so I don't know what else I'd need to do.

Here it is.

It's meant for team work and projects, but you can share with anyone. You set the parameters. This is obviously important because I'd need to settle his affairs, pay bills, etc. in the event something happens.

I know the internet isn't the greatest replacement for talking to someone IRL, but there's a great community on tumblr that helped me a lot when I was dealing with my diagnosis.

It's possible you're like me and got it through oral sex. Genital HSV-1 is causing around half of new genital herpes cases.

I wish you the best, and I hope you won't be afraid to reach out if you need help when you get your results back.

If you'd like to speed up the scrubbing process dramatically, you can check this DIY solution, using a drill.

https://www.google.com/amp/lifehacker.com/scrub-your-bathtub-and-shower-in-minutes-with-a-cordles-1459751196/amp

There is also a pre-maid version on Amazon - called the Revolver. https://www.amazon.com/Revolver-Drill-Brush-Attachment-Multi-Purpose/dp/B002DLRN72

If you're making it yourself, just don't make it with too abrasive bristles. I like to test it in an unnoticed corner, first. You also might want safety goggles - if the scum is thick, it'll be flying. Also, pay attention to not thread the bolt too far - it'd scrape your surround.

I just figured out VPNs last year after getting one of these notices and I haven't gotten one since.

The post to which you're responding refers to Private Internet Access and I use the same service. There is a once yearly fee (I forget the amount, I think $40-ish?) and you just download the program to your machine and turn it on to connect to the internet through the program.

Once connected, you use the internet as you normally would if the program wasn't running.

I don't know all the technicalities of how/why it works, but as far as what serves my purposes: my internet activity can't be traced back to my computer and me.

Read Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. He explains that the thoughts we feed our mind, when mixed with faith and emotion, will find a way to become reality. Start by writing out all of the dreams/goals/experiences that you want to have or accomplish, then make a definite plan for how you are going to accomplish them and by what date you want to have done them by. Feed your thoughts every day with these dreams. Become obsessed with life and success, not failure and death, and just see how high you soar!

This. In a similar vein, OP, I highly recommend the book "So Good They Can't Ignore You: How Skills Trump Passion in Finding Work You Love" by Cal Newport. You don't need to find any one thing that you love doing; pick something you're good at (could be whatever you're doing now, could be something else) and become better. Then become the fucking best. Leverage and autonomy in your career is going to make you a lot happier than finding the "thing" you'd love to do.

A friend once told me when I was about as low as I thought I could go, "There has to be downs so you know the ups". Sounds like stoner wisdom for sure, but it has always sort of been there for me.

I read "A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy" and it was awesome perspective.

I have some eye issues (extremely minor compared to you) and I know it deeply effects my mood and state of mind. It must be truly horrible to have to deal with such a serious loss this early in life. This probably won't help you, but I know that a book that helped me relate to some of the unwanted realities in my own life is "Full Catastrophe Living" by Jon Kabat-Zinn. It's about his work with people facing all kinds health difficulties. It took me a while to get past the New Age-Hippie cultural trappings of meditation, but it has been a very useful approach for me ("10% Happier" by Dan Harris is a more recently written introduction to meditation, and how it helped him in his career as a reporter). There's no way I could have gotten myself to meditate as a 17 year old, but I thought I would mention it. It sounds like you have a lot of determination and that you will find your own way through these difficulties.

Hey OP. I know some might not like what I'm about to say, but please look into getting the Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. He really tries to help people with financial problems. If you can find a way to call him while he does his daily radio show you might get a copy of the book for free.

My girlfriend was in a lot if debt and very lost. She says that he saved her. She's paid off over $9,000 in debt over 2 years and is better shape financially. I wish you luck and I hope things turn around for you.

Was Mormon for 25 years, then left.

Now two decades later I still have that hole in my heart, and I think a lot of other people have a similar hole. A guy from work (he's not from the US) told me "my name is not even [his-name]. I have lived half my life here, but I'm not American." I told him I wanted to find a place to call home because we have moved a lot and he said, almost yelled "there is no home, there is no home!"

I do not believe there is a cosmic meaning, but there is a great deal of local meaning. My family, my wife, my children, they mean a great deal to me and they give me a lot to live for.

I recommend an old book "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankle. He says that meaning is found in and through love.

I wish atheists had more of a positive agenda. I miss church and singing, and pot-lucks. There is no program to follow out here and it feels kind of cold and barren. Atheism has the facts right, but there is no social system, nothing to bring people together. And then some sweet person will say "I don't think you really understand what Atheism means . . . ", but I think I do.

Always double count. Even when I think I'm right, I double count. I worked in cash handling positions for 10 years, sometimes handling tens of thousands.

When you're counting, try to do it in sets. So for example, if you're handling $1 bills, I count them "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 20, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 30" and so on. This way, I'm not saying the "thirty" over and over again, which is where a lot of people trip themselves up. When you get to 50, put down the stack of 50 and start a new stack -- this way, when you're done, you know each of those stacks is $50.

There are apps out there that can help too, like this one. You can also find sheets like this. You can print it out, take it to work with you. Hope this helps, OP.

Have you ever heard of http://www.khanacademy.org ? Its a great learning website, I myself use it and also feel the struggle with math. Lots of people also have done the full time job/college. I would find out how much your dad wants for rent per month, and from there I would see if you can get a written contract to make it official. Imo I would also look at community colleges and start there while doing a job. Handle one thing at a time. You can do it!

I've recently gotten in to astronomy myself, and I have to agree, as someone who is not and never has been much of an academic I am eating this stuff up. Check out the Khan academy astronomy/cosmology section

http://www.khanacademy.org/science/cosmology-and-astronomy

I have no idea how old you/your SO is, but this article will probably help process some of your feelings, I'm pretty sure it made it to the front page a couple months ago:

https://medium.com/matter/youre-16-youre-a-pedophile-you-dont-want-to-hurt-anyone-what-do-you-do-now-e11ce4b88bdb

Maybe your SO could seek out a community such as this one to talk about his feelings with similar people committed to not acting on them.

Best of luck to you both.

I really think you should listen to a song by Wale called "The Kramer" that speaks on a similar situation. When you listen to it read the lyrics http://genius.com/31123

Also context, its from "The mixtape about nothing" which is the first of 3 in some Wale albums that are Seinfeld based/infused.

>ng, to each his own, but it is really effective. I met my fiancé that way and tons o

thanks! Well i guess you are right about online dating. I just kinda have a thing against tinder specifically. I don't have to go into detail but maybe I might give meetup.com a shot. Congrats on being engaged!

Maybe you could take a break from life and give yourself breathing time.

Go to a national park, camp out over the weekend... anything thats peaceful.

In regards to friends, you can use meetup.com to find people with similar interests :)

Im not sure if universities in your countries offer this but in Australia the university Im considering has bridging courses (alternate pathway into university, it provides you with minimum requirements to enter certain courses. Its called "The college", Western Sydney provides it) Im considering this if I do poorly.

In regards to meeting people and looking for interest groups: I've just found a site called MeetUp.com where I can meet people with similar interests.

I had written my post during an emotional meltdown and I've calmed down- So I can see my options a little more clearer.

Thank you for taking the time to write that comment, it makes me feel slightly better knowing someone cared enough to help.

I got my 6 month raise today. It equals about $30 extra per month, so that's what I donated to the cause. I haven't seen it yet, so I won't miss it. This whole thread has made me feel great about (most of) reddit!

http://www.indiegogo.com/redditxmasfund?c=home

http://www.cnet.com/how-to/transfer-memorable-voice-mails-to-your-computer-with-a-simple-audio-trick/

If you don't have a mic, you can use headphones, just place an earpiece against the speaker of your phone. Causing vibrations in the tiny speaker induces an electrical signal just like a mic.

You might get some satisfaction out of a computer game that makes you think, like Factorio. I tried the demo the other day and got a kick out of it. I also don't mind a WoW adventure or two (discovered it a year ago) now and then.

Or maybe just some really tasty food. Go and order your favorite thing, just for the hell of it. I'm autistic myself, and awesome sensory stuff like that (sweets, in my case :P ) can improve things.

Don't look for meaning; just hack a little happiness into your day. You need it.

So, let me start off by saying that being a woman, let alone a human being, is confusing.

Sexuality and psychological research shows that women's sexualities are a lot more variable than men. First women are more "fluid," meaning that their sexual orientation is likely to change through their life times. I think the statistic is something like: one a woman has identified as "non-heterosexual" once in her life time, she is 70% likely to change how she identifies later. (Percentage may be incorrect, but it's a high number, as I recall.) Also, women's sexual attracts are more likely to change within the context of close, intimate relationships. This means that when we develop close friendships with people, regardless of gender, we are likely to become sexual attracted to these people. A woman may only identify as a lesbian within the context of one relationship with one woman, and may never be sexually attracted to any other woman (the same for relationships with men). Most of my information comes from reading the research of Dr. Lisa M. Diamond

There's a lot more, but what I'm saying is that you are not alone in your experience. You are not weird. Read some of the academic stuff maybe, it might make you feel better. I'm sorry if you're friends aren't understanding. Maybe they just need to be educated.

This book can help you understand that there are very many different types of sexuality. It's written by an atheist but it can help you get a less religious point of view on sex. I read it and liked it a lot.

Edit: It's nice to get different views on a subject when trying to understand it in full. Especially something as complex as human sexuality. I'm not saying I agree with everything written in this book but it does help start thinking about things from a different perspective.

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I wish I could hug you. I'm sorry all of these things seem to be piling up all at once, it's overwhelming. You have a silent support here when you vent, thank you for sharing your story. You're not alone, there are so many people going through the same struggles or worse, and if you ever want to talk, you can message me. There are many treatments for panic attacks. If your therapist says he/she can't help you with them, then you need to find a new therapist. Some of them aren't as "helpful" or people-friendly as others. You may want to look into medication to help you through this, but in the meantime here are some tips on getting through panic attacks.

I have had panic attacks for years, I know the terror of them. Remember it's all in your head. Being aware of that the entire time helps you get through them quicker. Try some of those techniques next time it happens, it couldn't hurt. Good luck, OP!

Do yourself a favor and take the 23andme test, too.

Both the AncestryDNA and 23andme tests were worth it, because each found relatives the other did not find, but the 23andme test found significantly more relatives and a significantly more active community(meaning more results and more contacts).

Thank you! To answer your question, I'll copy and paste from a reply I just finished typing for someone else:

>For workouts, I focus mostly on cardio at this point. Usually treadmill or swimming. I also use the weight machines at the gym (I've been advised to stay away from free weights until I'm stronger). I mostly work my upper body on those, but do focus on legs from time to time (my legs are pretty strong already from carrying my weight + I'm trying to take it easy on my knees for now).

>Every Sunday, my gym does a "Boot Camp" group exercise session, and I always attend those. The exercises done are comparable to what you might find on this site: http://darebee.com/workouts.html (though this site also has routines themed off of popular games and shows, which I'd recommend checking out). They also do Boot Camp on Saturdays and I've been considering attending both Saturday and Sunday. I have yet to try Saturday, though.

>As far as dieting goes, I'm not on any strict diet. I just count my calories and make sure I'm not eating too much.

>My problem in the past was that, when I was a kid, my dad would make restaurant-size portions for dinner and my mom would shame me into emptying my plate. As such, sometimes a single meal was over 1500 calories. It was bad. I only allow myself up to 2200 calories per day right now.

>For tracking calories and weight loss, I use MyFitnessPal. There are lots of other services out there, but that works pretty well for me. It has an extensive database of foods, so you can just look up the food you ate and log all of the nutrients that way.

If you've got any advice, I'd love to hear it! I forgot to mention in that last wall of text that I swim twice a week. If I'm too busy, all I might do in a week is swim twice and do Boot Camp, but I prefer to have an extra day in there for the weight machines and using the treadmill.

For workouts, I focus mostly on cardio at this point. Usually treadmill or swimming. I also use the weight machines at the gym (I've been advised to stay away from free weights until I'm stronger). I mostly work my upper body on those, but do focus on legs from time to time (my legs are pretty strong already from carrying my weight + I'm trying to take it easy on my knees for now).

Every Sunday, my gym does a "Boot Camp" group exercise session, and I always attend those. The exercises done are comparable to what you might find on this site: http://darebee.com/workouts.html (though this site also has routines themed off of popular games and shows, which I'd recommend checking out). They also do Boot Camp on Saturdays and I've been considering attending both Saturday and Sunday. I have yet to try Saturday, though.

As far as dieting goes, I'm not on any strict diet. I just count my calories and make sure I'm not eating too much.

My problem in the past was that, when I was a kid, my dad would make restaurant-size portions for dinner and my mom would shame me into emptying my plate. As such, sometimes a single meal was over 1500 calories. It was bad. I only allow myself up to 2200 calories per day right now.

For tracking calories and weight loss, I use MyFitnessPal. There are lots of other services out there, but that works pretty well for me. It has an extensive database of foods, so you can just look up the food you ate and log all of the nutrients that way.

Thank you for the encouragement, and I wish you the best of luck with your own goals!

Dude, I know exactly how you feel. I can relate to just about everything you just said. I'm 18 and a freshman in college and I'll tell you what, even though my schedule isn't as rigorous as yours (I'm planning to "kick my own ass out my bad habits" myself) I still feel unmotivated and I get behind on my work because I'm easily distracted even when I'm interested in my work.

I do have one tip for you, though: If you own a Mac, go to this website (http://www.macupdate.com/app/mac/31289/selfcontrol) and download the FREE program Self-Control. It allows you to create a custom "blacklist" of websites that distract you that you can lock for anywhere from 30 minutes to a whole day. The websites can't be unlocked until the timer runs out, even if you restart your computer. I just downloaded it a few days ago and it's working pretty damn well. If you have a Mac I highly recommend it, and if you don't have a Mac I'm sure there's a program similar to it that's available for download for PC's.

Best of luck and remember to keep calm when things get hairy, friend.

Install all the latest drivers from the manufacturer's site, especially for the touchpad, touchscreen and chipset. Check if there's a firmware/BIOS update and install that, too (but make sure the device is not separated from power at any time during the installation - this will likely permanently brick the PC). Read some reviews on the device to find out if the problems you are having are common.

With a few modifications, Windows 10 will look and feel almost like Windows 7:

https://www.oo-software.com/en/shutup10 or, if you are comfortable with using PowerShell: https://gist.github.com/alirobe/7f3b34ad89a159e6daa1

Of course, using Windows 7 is fine too, but remember that updates for this operating system will only be provided for about three more years. IMHO, Windows 8/8.1 is unusable.

If you need a decent software firewall/security software, look into Comodo Internet Security and learn how to use rule-based firewalls.

Good luck!

I feel ya. You know what helps me most times? Music... Live music to be precise. And I rarely have the luxury of being able to travel to see my favorite bands perform live. Luckily, a lot of them stream their shows live on the internet. Most times the stream's are free. Info and links can be found in /r/StreamingNow :)

e/ I started the sub last December because of this band twiddle, and some of their side projects. The guitarist/lead vocalist is playing a solo acoustic set right now. You should check it out

My fiance and a coworker of my also love astronomy! I have a couple of things that are pretty great, if you're interested

Super awesome NASA interactive web app!

Coursera is a website where you can take free college courses. You don't get any real credit, but you get to learn and to be taught by highly respected professors. This class started a few days ago and it's not too late! Intro to Astronomy

http://www.fbpurity.com/ can tell you if someone unfriends you on fb I think.

And you can also find out if somebody blocked you if you can't write them private messages anymore. You can't even input text in a communication with them anymore nor can you open their profile page. So you can check that if you think someones mad at you.

I just want to share with you that I think that you may have a flawed sense of how to connect with someone. Its not like picking the correct card from a deck of 52. Its about finding someone with some shared interests, personality traits and then building upon those things with some common experiences and memories. I think we are being tricked into thinking that you just find a "hot person" from IG or Match.com and hope they accept you and live happily ever after. Its an unfair social norm being forced on us.

I would start by listing the most important things in your life. Hobbies, religion, Genre of music, style...anything that really defines you. Then, INDULGE in those activities. Then try to meet people that share your enthusiasm for these ideas or activities. Its much like making friends. You don't search out friends...you inadvertently make them through shared interests and experiences. Try to treat dating the same way. Focus on you first. Just my advice! Good luck, there's nothing wrong with you. its a process.

No problem. Our 'condition', such as it is, is basically a bunch of beliefs programmed into us that aren't true. Since all this stuff started in early childhood we also end up with anatomical brain differences which make us more prone to anxiety and hypervigilance. It's a vicious circle - the hypervigilance causes us to pick up on small reactions of other people, the anxiety causes us to interpret these reactions as danger, and the beliefs cause us to thinks it's our fault. That causes the embarassment and fear, which provokes the hypervigilance, which...

Weakening the chain anywhere in this cycle starts to help. You can start on the beliefs with this method, it's helped me quite a lot over time. PM if you like.

Yep, you really can't lose, especially if you properly frame the best and worst case outcomes.

BTW, as an aspiring independent worker myself, I recommend you start using some sort of time-tracking app to time yourself when you're working. It's a lot easier to focus on work stuff and not goof off when you know you're "on the clock" -- even if you're working for yourself. I use Rachota and like it quite a bit, but I know there are other alternatives.

My book is Start to Finish Chicago! Windy City Mazes through Reedy Press.
That's the amazon link. I know that amazon has some in stock, but I'm still waiting to hear back about how much of the inventory was destroyed (I'm not expecting any to survive the fire).

I'll mention the ebook format idea to the publisher, but I'm going to wait a bit until the situation resolves as the fire is still currently not extinguished based on the most recent update I received.

I appreciate the suggestions. Luckily, this is only a portion of my income, and I don't think that any of Reedy's authors or artists rely on the book income as a primary source of income. But the company itself, I expect this to be a pretty rough time as holiday sales are huge for print and publishing.

I didn’t read the whole thing, but sometimes it’s just about making good connections when you get a job. Or making a connection with the interviewer based on a mutually interesting topic, not much to do with the resume per se. Maybe she got lucky, maybe not. But put your best foot and best attitude forward because that’s what people notice first. And it’s contagious.

Your life sounds like hell with your mom’s diagnosis etc.....

Start reading this book, The Happiness Advantage. It talks about how happiness gives you a competitive edge in work and in life. It talks about how to change your perspective. Happiness doesn’t come from success. But success can’t happen without being in a happier mindset. It’s a very interesting read based on a ton of research. You can get it on amazon. The Happiness Advantage: How a Positive Brain Fuels Success in Work and Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/0307591557/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_1GwsCbBWMF99R

I had IBS like symptoms for many years before changing my diet. I just want you to know that bidet attachments are around $30 on Amazon and they will save your butt hole on those days that it won't stop.

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (white and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JG2DETM/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_VCQ8Cb8T871N8

You can lock yourself our of your phone during certain times by using an app like this one (which I had developed): https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=tomka.lockmyphone

Also check out the Pomodoro-technique and split bigger problems or tasks into smaller periods of 25 minutes. You can tackle them more easily.

If you haven't read it, the book Attached is a great layman's guide to attachment styles in romantic relationships. It focuses extensively on the avoidant-anxious pairing and speaks in depth about the challenges faced in such a relationship. I think you will find it extremely relatable. Even if $10 sounds like a lot to spend on a book, please consider all the relief that comes with not feeling alone and understanding what's going on.

Some people come into relationships with anxious attachment styles, but I've seen many secure people turn anxious after a long enough committed relationship with an avoidant attachment style. I recommend this book often as a basic intro to looking at relationships as a phenomenon.

Damn, That is tough!! When it rains, it pours huh? I will share with you something I got from Man's Search for Meaning. Life is not about having shiny toys, It's about being a worthy in spite of the shit life rains down on you. Take it easy.

This book reminds me somehow a novel written by Victor Frankl Man's Search for Meaning you might give a try. This quote: goodreads link might be similar to what Schopenhauer said, however I have not read his book, so I cannot say for sure. It is a good read, but not an easy one, given the amount of suffer which was presented. It changes view on some things in life when it is not going like as we wanted.

Love this advice. I read something very similar recently in 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People'. The funeral analogy can really help you figure out what is most important to you in life, and may not necessarily be related to your professional achievements, as I found out. It's the idea of 'beginning with the end in mind' which allows you to realise the kind of impact you want to make on the lives of those around you.

My comment is practical advice - go the library and borrow Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace or Total Money Makeover, read it together with your wife. Find his radio show and get inspired every day to improve your financial situation. Perhaps when your wife sees that you want to work together on this issue, the process of budgeting will be less confrontational. Good luck to you and your family.

I'd be happy to. One of the earliest I know about is a book called "The Relaxation Response" by Herbert Benson, MD. His research was specifically on using mindfulness meditation to lower blood pressure. However, the book is useful because his description of the process is completely devoid of anything even remotely religious or spiritual. It's a very scientific approach to using meditation to lower stress and thus blood pressure.

Jon Kabat-Zinn is another medical researcher who has done a lot of work on mindfulness. His works are written in a more popular zone and have a bit more spiritualism to them. However, they do not make them any less useful, in my opinion. I highly recommend "Full Catastrophe Living" and "No Matter Where You Go, There You Are." He has written a book on mindfulness and depression as well. I haven't read that one, but I have heard that it is also good.

If Buddhism interests you at all, there are a number of good sources. Kabat-Zinn studied with Thích Nhat Hanh who is a prolific writer. "The Miracle of Mindfulness" is a particularly good introduction to this practice. Pema Chodron is another Buddhist writer who I have found to be helpful, particularly "When Things Fall Apart." This book is taken from a series of talks she gave, and so the tone is more conversational. She also sounds to me like a bit of a hippie in case that attracts you or turns you off.

Mindfulness meditation has also been shown to help with chronic pain. Since depression and physical pain often go together, I thought I'd also mention "Teach us to Sit Still," by Tim Parks. Parks is a novelist, but in this memoir he talks about how he overcame a chronic pain condition with the help of mindfulness meditation.

I'm sure others have many more to recommend. Most of the books I've mentioned are probably in your local library and are certainly available online. Good luck!