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In my opinion, an 8 year old should not have unsupervised screen time anyway. Only in the room with you where you can see the screen, and not allowed in his bedroom at night. Removes temptation. Otherwise there's other stuff he can do if you can't be with him. I'm really sorry you're going through this. Maybe evaluate what friends he's hanging out with? He had to have heard about this from somewhere. EDIT: this page has some good options on how to approach the topic with your son. Best of luck!
Man here. This is a serious thing. Porn rewires the viewers brain, potentially more so than a woman. You might appreciate reading about the "male funnel", https://www.netnanny.com/blog/pornography-and-sexuality-exploring-the-male-and-female-brains/
Unless he has a physical or mental issue, it is very plausible he is secretly viewing porn. He may also be embarrassed to admit it. And you might be tempted to indulge his fantasies but they will probably only grow more intense for him. Hopefully this is not the case, but I'd seriously reevaluate your engagement because whatever the cause it will be very difficult to reverse course and could come to define your relationship.
I hope I'm just being alarmist and this is not the case, but if it is, take this very seriously. Good luck.
I think the real problem is the accessibility of porn. Younger people can't tell as good to what extent something is real or not real but nothing about porn is real so even believing a single thing is wrong most of the time. And when every teenager watches porn at "young age" there are things that get confused. When the first exposure of 18+ material is around the age of 11 years sauce then something bad will happen. I'm not a psychiatrist so I have no idea how bad that actually is.
Also the amount of rape fantasies on porn websites is scary. I get that some people like it but holy fuck there is so much of extreme stuff. It's weird to me that people enjoy other people (mostly woman) getting hurt and having injuries because of that but maybe it's just my taste (which doesn't make it any better. I know it sounds stupid and not real but the idea alone that there are enough people who believe the "woman only want dominating alpha males" to fill a giant subreddit r/niceguys (yes technically that's not 100% what niceguys do but it overlaps a lot) shows that some of the porn roles are seen as real by the viewers)
Try this:
To disable Net Nanny temporarily: Press CTRL, ALT, and DELETE simultaneously, bringing up the task manager Highlight "Wnldr32" and click 'End Task'. This will kill Net Nanny until the next time you restart your computer.
There are two options for anti-porn training: too early and too late. Each has advantages and disadvantages.
I found porn at the ripe old age of 5–and this was back when you had to do much more than google body parts.
My oldest was introduced to porn at school. At age 11.
There is a consensus that 11 is the average age of “first” exposure to pornography: https://www.netnanny.com/blog/the-detrimental-effects-of-pornography-on-small-children/
From my experience, it’s not church leaders who are out of touch, it’s those who think 11 is too young...
All that said, I cannot fault you your criticizing the style the lesson was delivered with. There are definitely more and less effective ways to teach it. We made a point of not shaming anybody—more of normalizing and empowering the youth.
My two cents.
i recommend finding a group of people who know the struggle and can help you with it. something like 'Celebrate Recovery'.
Pornography affects your brain in the same way as addictive substances https://www.netnanny.com/learn-center/article/175/
so you are literally chemically addicted to pornography. Please do seek help outside of yourself with a mentor 1 on 1 or with a group who understands your struggle.
my prayers are with you.
There is nothing dirty or morally wrong about the human body, especially in a medical context. We all are human. There is nothing more inherently dirty about the reproductive system than there is about the liver, kidneys, or digestive system.
If your child has any sort of unsupervised access to technology, there is a good chance they have already been exposed to inappropriate material. The average age of exposure to pornography is 11 years old. Where would you prefer your child’s education to come from. Pornhub, or a medical text?
https://www.netnanny.com/blog/the-detrimental-effects-of-pornography-on-small-children/
Rouyter settings are only going to block sites if he's on the WiFi. If he uses his phones data plan your router config will have no effect.
Use the parental controls built into android or ios.
https://www.netnanny.com/blog/how-to-set-parental-controls-for-android/
https://appleinsider.com/articles/21/01/08/how-to-set-parental-controls-on-iphone-or-ipad
1) Actiontec c1000a is a standardized DSL Modem/router. Its basically the same across all the Actiontec routers.
2) Yes, Depends on how you want to attack it. Per device, or household wide per website.
3) Better hardware, yes... but unless you're familiar with network terminology (like a static IP or MAC address) then you're probably better off with non hardware solutions.
Like someone else said, this is truly a parent / child respect issue. I like the suggestion of moving his PC out in the living room or a public area. Will make him less inclined to stay long periods of time in front of it if he has other people looking over his shoulder. Remember, this is YOUR house. Everything that is his... is yours, no matter if he saved it from his allowance or grandma gave him the money for his pc... your house, your rules.
How I would handle it is have a conversation with him about his lack of taking care of business first. He can have 1 hour a day/night of internet (outside of school work). What time would he like this 1 hour? This will make him think and choose what he wants so he feels like he has 'some' control.
Then when his time is up, I would block him via wifi until he asks for it for 'school' purposes for the night. Rinse and repeat.
Also net nanny is good for stuff like this. https://www.netnanny.com/products/
Does NetNanny even work for youtube? I found this website that says they filter by content. But it looks like it bans porn videos, not Brother Jake videos.
Libright : sexual attraction toward minor is normal and comes from thousands of years of evolution, not so long back (about 700y ) the lifespan was no more than 35-40 years, it was perfectly normal to be pregnant at 13 for the first child. Including the period where you were forced to marry at 7.
Also, girls menstruate for the first time around 10 years old, so it's literally the body being prepared and ready to procreate. It's how humanity grew. Male impregnating 9-14yo girls.
Sex became a taboo in our modern society, as human became just a "productive unit" and the teen age a "learning phase to be a worker", in which having instinct is forbidden.
In the other hand, the teenagers crave for sexual interaction. Most of teens over 15 watch porn regularly nowadays. But, more surprising (or not ?) Stats says 1 porn websites visitor out of ten is less than 10 years old and 20% of my generation (currently 20-30) watched porn before being 10 (same source, in the graph).
That's it, I did my best to advocate the evil. Hope I met OP's expectations :-)
With 2 children of my own, I have purchased a program called net nanny. It works off a vpn and at least on iOS, if the vpn is manually turned off they cannot use the internet so not much of a way to get around it. Allows time limits, content filtering, sage search on google and other search sites.$54.99 for 5 devices for the year so won’t break the bank.
The law seems to vary based on state, but a quick google search makes it seem like there's been at least a couple instances of teens being charged over this in the past.
not true. there are places in the US where a minor year old can take and share nudes with another and only risk being charged with a misdemeanor, so long as there's consent and no harassment involved
Arizona, Connecticut, Florida (first time offenders), and Illinois for example.
there are several more that make distinctions for minors. in some states, its not criminal penalty at all, under certain circumstances.
https://www.netnanny.com/blog/teen-sexting-laws-in-your-state/
this seems like an option with reasonable price, haven't tried it though, sorry.
they provide 15-days trial here: https://www.netnanny.com/trials/
i would give it a shot.
Lookup teen sexting laws, I think you will be surprised.
https://www.netnanny.com/blog/teen-sexting-laws-in-your-state/
Here is alabama:
Alabama has no specific laws for teen sexting. Anyone found sending or receiving inappropriate images of a minor—including images of them or someone else—could be prosecuted under the state’s current child pornography, obscenity or material harmful to minor’s laws.
There should be parental controls you can enable when you first boot up the machine. Your kids might be disappointed they can't set it up themselves, but it is something you seriously need to do without them. It's one of the last steps in Windows 10 initial boot up if I recall. If the computer has already been set up with a user account check these links to learn how to set up the parental controls after initial startup.
https://www.netnanny.com/blog/how-to-set-parental-controls-for-windows-10/
https://www.howtogeek.com/666985/how-to-use-parental-controls-in-windows-10/
MAC ADDR spoofing is one Google search away, and how to's circulate thru schools like candy. Unless your kids are in Elemantary school, this "parental control" method will last a day or two at most. If you're really worried, buy a 5-pack of NetNanny - $55 USD. Controls both desktops and mobile devices - to date, as long as strong passwords were used - it has yet to be bypassed.
Windows10 has parental controls and time limiting. You could password lock your primary log in and give children their own log in, and restrict the times/days children can log in.
Full details on this blog: (not mine)
https://www.netnanny.com/blog/how-to-set-parental-controls-for-windows-10/
if you're worried about the request, then maybe something like https://www.netnanny.com/
If you're worried about the content, then perhaps filter out content with offending words (warez, lolita, etc..)
So, I'm majoring in cybersecurity and my plan is to go into internet crimes against children (ICAC). I seen your comment and I couldn't believe it initially. I looked in one of my state law books and it only referenced adults who send obscene material to minors.
However, I found this (netnanny is a bit cringe but it's all I could find right off online), and to my surprise, you are absolutely correct. I did not know some states could charge people regardless of age if indecent material is sent to a minor; even if that person sending it is a minor themselves.
Thanks for pointing this out! Very interesting.
You can limit screen time(using the whole computer for that account) through a Microsoft account, but it costs 50 cents because of some law somewhere. Here’s instructions: https://www.netnanny.com/blog/how-to-set-parental-controls-for-windows-10/ not sure if you could do it with a local account though. Worth a try
Edit: also out of curiosity why aren’t your parents doing this?
See 'Setting Up Your Child’s Account' here - https://www.netnanny.com/blog/how-to-set-parental-controls-for-windows-10/
You could also set the DNS on that laptop to the OpenDNS FamilyShield servers - https://support.opendns.com/hc/en-us/articles/228007127-FamilyShield-Computer-Configuration-Instructions
I think every addiction is a mental health issue. It also acts like a time killer or even a habit. There are no pills to treat it, but you could change your mind and make progress to get rid of this addiction.
For example, there are some services that call help you with it. For UK players you could use Gamstop to help you. All gambling services are forced to use Gamstop and therefore you will be banned from gambling. But, the most annoying thing is that there are non Gamstop sites and this organization could do nothing to those who are non UK licensed.
For me, there are better solutions for this purpose. You could try to use an internet blocker such as NetNanny that blocks websites according to your rules. You could try to ask your family to control this things. But the most important one, you should come to this solutions yourself.
I know that it sounds naive, but make sure that you have blocked the porn accessibility as much as possible. Set up parental controls for yourself, incorporate a web filtering application such as NetNannyor FamilyFriendlyDNS (the latter one is free).
Sometimes, all that it takes to prevent yourself from screwing up is to bump into a wall. The impulse starts to fade and you do not want to bother circumventing your own preventive measures.
https://www.netnanny.com/blog/teen-sexting-laws-in-your-state/I stopped reading once I got past 50%. You are incorrect. A few states have passed laws to make the offense less for minors.
Newsflash you big dope: 22% of the porn consumption done by people under 18 is done by children beneath the age of 10 (source).
You don’t think any of those kids’ parents tried your stupid “just ask them not to look anything inappropriate up online” method? Kids are dumb, that’s why we have content filters.
Set a timer, don’t listen to the voice that says one more, consider meditating
If you really need the parental controls setup then maybe this site would help
https://www.netnanny.com/blog/how-to-set-parental-controls-for-windows-10/
Ridiculous. I can get behind the idea protecting children to an extent, stuff like this has existed for 20 years: https://www.netnanny.com/ . You can CHOOSE for yourself if you want to filter what is available to web users in your home today. There is no need for the government to step in.
Maybe a service could be offered for free with federal support for concerned parents, but it isn't something that should be forced on everyone.
Want to make the "Dark Web" darker? Things like this proposed bill will do that.
I don't spend all my godamn time on reddit proving my points to people who get hard over "science". But since you are that type of guy: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22552705 https://www.webmd.com/sex/features/sex-drive-how-do-men-women-compare#1 (bottom of article has sources list before you get pissy all over again) https://www.netnanny.com/learn-center/article/165/
I literally googled the same shit you did and found your article on the top of the list. If you actually weren't so hell bent on arguing pointless shit you would have found all the rest yourself. You can go ahead and find ways to pick everything apart now. Ima go do shit that matters. peace
Here's how to set up Parental Controls on Win10.
https://www.netnanny.com/blog/how-to-set-parental-controls-for-windows-10/
Please have a conversation with your child on how much computer time is too much computer time, and set those controls together.
You made the claim that women weren't sexualized. You need to back up your claim with evidence.
People can develop fetishes, sure. But that doesn't mean they are not attracted to the opposite gender.
You really want me to show you evidence that men are sexually attracted to female bodies and that this is not cultural? Really? Open a science book. https://www.netnanny.com/learn-center/article/165/
Redirecting all DNS Requests to pfSense will force all devices on your network to use pfSense for DNS. Squidblacklist.org has blacklists for adult content.
Another option would be to use parental control software such as Net Nanny which will run on Windows, OS X, android, and iOS.
how to help her? well im already prepared for the down votes but i speak from experience.
lots of patience, reassurance, calm space to freely ask you questions, even if its the same one 5 times, ability to freely re-open the issue for discussion when need be, and again reassurance. the more time that passes, the easier this will be. but depending on her, it can take a very long time. i want you to read this post and the discussion between me and the OP. you will see both sides and view points to the issue. and this may be able to guide you in this issue between you two. OP's side is pro porn BUT with the want to see the other POV. my side is from experience in the situation from your GF's side, and how i was able to over come it with his help and my thinking through out it and my willingness to understand the other side as well.
EDIT: also have her read these. this will help explain to her how much your porn has nothing to do with her and how you feel about her. https://www.netnanny.com/learn_center/article/165/ https://www.netnanny.com/learn_center/article/169/
Yeah, maybe I should refrain myself from making long posts on a mobile phone. Moreover, I was sleepy. I've made some errors and some chunks of text just disappeared. Anyway, I meant that: 1. women are a lot more expressive than men in regards to feelings; 2. persons performing a passive role tend to be more expressive than when performing active roles 3. Men's arousal is mainly focused on his sex organ (but not exclusively) whilst women's has a broader focus. It's not the same as saying women are more sensitive than men in respect to their emotions, they're not, but the externalization of their emotions is different either for society reasons, physical differences or brain differences. https://www.netnanny.com/learn_center/article/165/ So, maybe a guy doesn't cry when he is sad or scream when he is happy. That's pretty normal. The emotion is equally strong. Oh, read it "even more".