What are /r/pornfree's favorite Products & Services?

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My personal opinion is that sex helps as long as you don't think of porn while having sex.

Btw, we've built an app to help people have a pornfree life. It uses some of the best techniques used by psychologists & psychiatrists in treating people with addictions. Here's the link to install the app on Android - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=io.funswitch.nopo

This phenomenon is described in "The Power of Habit", where there brain seems to be at it's highest right when it recognizes the cue which leads to the reward, in this case the orgasm. Your brain is excited about you giving in because it knows that you won't stop and it'll get it's reward. This is why even just peaking is bad because it takes an enormous amount of self-control to stop the habit from happening.

I LOVE this subject - ogleing and objectifying. We can learn a lot from that automatic trigger that we all have to objectify another human being for our own selfish pleasure. I recorded a short video with some of my thoughts on your post - https://www.loom.com/share/023e8c1dbfc64162af8ad376f289f5a9

Coercion: "the use of force to persuade someone to do something that they are unwilling to do"

Sometimes seen from human to human, sometimes seem between two states.

"If you do not do this thing you did not originally consent to do, we will sue you/fire you/hit you/hurt you."

Any app can turn off the nsfw post and they IIRC respect "don't show NSFW content" option from your account's preferences.

There is also a no-surf apps for reddit, for example NoSurf for reddit.

Take note of the triggers whenever you're thinking of relapsing. What emotional state are you in? What location are you in? What event immediately preceded the thought? Write these down, and you might start to form a pattern, e.g. "When I'm feeling stressed and I'm in my room alone, it hits" or "if I'm looking through reddit and I'm bored, it hits". Then PLAN (this is important)... plan ahead of time what you will do when these circumstances hit. Success in pornfree is not about just taking away something you got a kick out of, it's about replacing it with something better, then associating previous triggers with the good things. Out of interest, I learned this 'trigger reprogramming' thing from a book called 'The Power of Habit" by Duhigg. Borrow it, check it out! Start by thinking, "every time I want to PMO, I'll instead go somewhere public and read at least 20 pages of this book". Good luck, man! (copied from a previous response)

I'm gonna agree that masturbation can be normal and healthy.

Also, this is not the first time I've seen a post along these lines, so my take is that it's normal during "recovery" to have some weird feelings after masturbating.

One thing to consider is that your brain might be used to O's involving a much bigger spike of dopamine, etc., due to the artificial stimulation of porn. When your brain doesn't get the amount of reward it's "expecting," it can lead to a general negative/depressed feeling. With more and more time porn-free, you may get less of these shitty feelings after MO, as your brain recalibrates.

To get geeky, check out this summary of the neuroscience behind what I'm talking about.

https://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction/dp/099316160X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1626673618&sr=8-1

Order this and read it at least 3 times. This book will change your life. I have personally seen the benefits in my life.

I love this quote. I wasn't aware that it was Neitzsche. The context where I saw it was in Dr. Frankl's book Man's Search for Meaning (strongly recommended). The good doctor literally survived several years in a Nazi concentration camp due to this kind of mentality. It's not a cliche - it's really powerful stuff.

I get it dude, oh god I get it. Life is like a constant assault. If it's not the daily hassles, it's all the doubt and confusion that come along with being a human being. As soon as I solve one thing it's like whack a mole, another one pops right back up. It ain't easy.

But it's not all horrible. I have a very nice life. I must attribute that to having a "why" and waking up and fighting for it every day.

Thanks for the great reminder, I needed this today.

Seems like habit is a of yours. Read the Book "The Power of Habit" from Charles Duhigg, I hope this will help you! Also don't beat yourself up about relapsing. Some people are in the habit of gambling and have lost a fortune, but still can't help themselves and continue. At least for me my porn watching did less harm.

Keep it up :)

For me, the turning point came when I realized that I wasn't addicted to porn. That it was really just a symptom. Like you said "repressed emotions". I was really addicted to the repression. Porn was just a means.

As for positive thinking, yes, it hasn't been proven, however negative thinking has been proven beond the shadow of a doubt.

You sound like you might be interested in Seligman's Learned Optimism. It's a classic backed up by serious research.

I've found that mindless reddit surfing/video games/TV is akin to porn in the sense it's letting habit take over, and I disengage. I think your other suggestions are more mind*ful* and closer to the positive, constructive, hobby-type of activities that have helped me. YMMV.

u/EatPantsDude's reminder about connection is great, I think. You could check out Meetup.com and see if there's something that jumps out at you.

There's actually some journals built with locks if you want to take this with pen and paper.

Digitally, you may want to download a folder encryption app like isylock and save word/notepad files and then lock the folder. Just make sure you put an easy but not obvious password so you don't forget.

To block porn on my computer I do the following:

Use K9 web protection to block pornography and proxy avoidance: http://www1.k9webprotection.com/

Edit c:\windows\system32\drivers\etc\hosts to block your regular porn sites: http://www.howtogeek.com/howto/27350/beginner-geek-how-to-edit-your-hosts-file/

I hope this helps.

Setting a loud timer on your phone, and putting the phone across the room. The sound (and having to get up to turn it off) will interrupt the endless browsing cycle. The thing is keep walking and moving once you're up! I've got ADHD so sometimes I even leave a sticky with a quick note reminding me what to do next.

|*edit: Working at home, so the Pomodoro Method has helped.

I've been using https://chains.cc to track my progress after another user on the subreddit recommended it. It might not be exactly what you're looking for, but it's worked well for me so far. Here's a screenshot of how it represents your data over time.

Protips:

1. ~~OpenDNS's FamilyShield.~~ Just use regular OpenDNS, but for the love of not looking at porn, get an account and apply filters. Apply directly to the router.
2. While you're in your router, add *.imgur.com, imgur.com, *.filmot.com, and filmot.com to your blacklist. You're Redditors. /r/gonewild is right there and you know it.
   

Something were you connect with others may help, it is kinda the opposite of isolation from porn, a dance class, a meetup.com group hike, volunteering with others so you are helping others and getting out of your own head. When sober only a bit you kinda might flat-line, dopamine will be lower as you take away the kinda artificial stimulus of porn and your brain readjusts, dopamine is used to motivate us to do all sorts of stuff, we do something we get reward, you ll find life even less rewarding in the early stages, but get to 70 80 90 days and you'll find life and little things much more fun and rewarding so you'll probably get out and about much more. I used to sit in my room and think life was so boring, now I do so much more with my days and have many more pals I see regularly. It is the same world I'm just different in it.

these are tricks of the mind that is craving for a burst of dopamine. I would advice against any such tests of your will power. A true test of will power is completing 90 days of nofap hard mode. If you're struggling with urges, you can try: NoPo Gold this app has a panic button to help deal with urges without relapsing. I've found it very helpful.

I'm not sure I like your characterization of it. You kind of make it sound like a predator striking, which it may very well be.

However, I do understand what your'e asking and I'll give my understanding of it. Now, a word of caution. Below is my current understanding of the science and the brain, as such it may be inaccurate. So please research what I say on your own.

To get right to it. When we develop habits, good or bad, we're tracing activation routes in our brain and as we activate those routes over and over again it becomes easier to activate the subsequent time. So when we're breaking the habit we try to not activate that route as much as possible and such it becomes less worn in, but it's still there. So that means yes you can relapse and get back into it at any time because those neural routes will still be in our brain and, as such, can still be activated from cues in our environment.

Now, that shouldn't make things sound hopeless. In the book "The Power of Habit", the author suggests that the way to break a habit is to understand the end goal we were seeking from the bad habit and implement a good habit to achieve that same goal which "commandeers" the neural route we developed for the bad habit, for the good habit. However, I know of no studies that back that and I don't have my copy of the book so I couldn't tell you those reference either.

That is my understanding and I know /u/lpyt knows a lot about this kind of stuff and has linked information that I have found key in understand our brain chemistry, so I'd be curious to have them weigh in on the topic.

Cc: /u/zachharbison; /u/POSTrock_in_thFrWrld.

Good question! See also /r/AskWomen.

If I may ask:

A) Do you want suggestions?

And, if so:

B) Do you have ADHD and/or any other psychological issues?

C) Has she ever struggled with body-image issues, worry, sadness, and/or any psychological issues?

D) How attractive or unattractive do you think your wife is?

E) I want to suggest meetings for her. But first: do you consider yourself to be a pornography and/or sex addict?

> How do I make my wife know that I love her and that she is worth the world to me.

F) What are your wife's favorite two, uh, "love languages"?

I found ProCon Latte Content Filter for Firefox to be very helpful, as well as manual modifying of my computer's hosts file (not sure if you'd have one of these on ubuntu). It can even be password protected to help stop you.

As far as using OpenDNS, you can usually accomplish that by typing the default gateway for your router into your browser's address bar (typically 192.168.0.1 or similar) and changing the entry for the DNS server from whatever it was to 208.67.222.123 and 208.67.220.123. Hope that helps, keep up the fight, I know how you feel.

Well I haven't fully recovered from my porn addiction so I can't answer fully but with the progress I have made I can say everything is getting better. Life just overall is more enjoyable. Watching a baby try to take their first steps is exciting. Just talking to people in line at the grocery store seems fun. Even though I have to actually face negative emotions now instead of just turning to porn to numb myself I actually enjoy that to. It just feels good to be able to feel again.

Intimacy has definitely improved and sexual performance is better. This is going to sound terrible but while I was watching porn regularly sex with my wife was more like masterbating but using her instead of my hand. Zero real connection.

Now all that said I haven't told my wife yet but I'm planning to in the next few days. You seem to be taking it really well. I'm scared my wife is going to freak out on me. Any advice for telling her?

I want to present my recovery plan to her and tell her the action steps I want to take. And I'm hoping she will be on board with helping to keep me accountable. I listen to Porn Free Radio and they have a podcast on FASTT check ins that you might find interesting too.

It sure frees up a lot of time!

I would suggest you do outdoors things (or at least things outside your house), so that you cannot easily go back to porn.

Here are a few ideas:

• go running/cycling
• go tot the gym or the swimming pool
• go to a café with a good book (or a notebook if you feel like writing things up)
• go explore your neighbourhood with a camera and shoot some street photography!

If you have to stay inside, you can:

• draw
• learn some new instrument (I started to learn electric bass and it's quite fun!)
• learn a new language (try duolingo on your phone or your tablet for instance)
• write...

Many many possibilities, the limit is your imagination :)

Haven't been on reddit in a while, but I started on the 29th after a really rough weekend which inspired a few life changes. Had a MO last after seeing someone on the street plus the stress.

Tracking this via Beeminder if anyone is curious: https://www.beeminder.com/mjb4263/goals/super_powers

I don't have anything I have read, but I heard about this: https://www.amazon.ca/Way-Superior-Man-Challenges-Anniversary/dp/1622038320/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=superior+mens+guide&qid=1610308118&sr=8-1. For my own 2 cents, I'd say outside of staying away from porn, follow what feels natural. Get out, experience things, read books and if you want to then do so. I would also say, maybe go a week or so without doing anything to reset a few things.

hey man, don't be too hard on yourself. I would suggest you take a firm decision that you'll change. Then, don't set too difficult goals of going cold turkey - that's not going to work. Start with small, achievable goals. E.g. decide that today you aren't going to watch porn. You can instead do any other activity that you like for example, watching a movie. The starting days will be tough, but always think of the rut you're in and the changes you'll see in your life once you quit porn. I wouldn't suggest going with a porn blocker as of now as this causes frustration. it's much easier to go from watching porn once everyday to once in two days rather than quitting it completely.

​

This is what I found after 4 years of my journey on NoFap. What I also found is that using an app for porn de-addiction helped me immensely in quitting. Here is one such app that I feel encompasses lots of helpful features: nopo gold

​

Good luck and do keep the community posted on how things go.

Not the OP but I've been using Loop - Habit Tracker for ages - it's a pretty minimalist app with some nice features including reminders, backup, and data export.

Great work recognizing that you're struggling, and coming up with the idea that a professional who deals with this every day will give you some useful perspective.

No-one asked for my opinion, but I genuinely believe 95% of the people on this sub who are truly addicted (myself included) are addicted mainly because we have learned (on a deep neurological level) to use porn as a tool to escape from difficult emotions like anxiety.

If you want some light reading before your first session, or just something to occupy your brain right now, I really recommend

Hardcore Self Help: F**k Anxiety (free on Kindle Unlimited)

The Upward Spiral - Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression

Super inspired by your post, great job.

My advice would be to not give in to one urge. Do it urge by urge. When you feel yourself relapsing, edging back towards porn, then attack that trigger by doing something else. In my first 90 days I used to come here every time I felt an urge to look at porn. I'd force myself to read some posts, and to answer some. In this way, I reprogrammed my brain away from porn. I read some useful advice: "You should aim to live as though porn doesn't exist". Charles Duhigg's book, "The Power of Habit" focuses on triggers, and the importance of displacing old responses to triggers with new ones. The first step is to recognize the trigger, and then to train yourself away from the old response to that trigger.

Cool, those are some interesting books! I've really found these books helpful to me!

Learned Optimism (helps understand pessimistic thoughts and views)

The Mind Illuminated (really helpful guidebook to meditation, I didn't know what the hell I was doing before reading it)

Pain Free (a personal revelation in posture training which helps me feel better throughout the day)

I recommend this sub to others although I don't necessarily agree with every tenet espoused here.

Porn can very easily sap your drive and motivation. Napoleon Hill talked about this in his "Think and Grow Rich" about the power of "Sexual Transmutation". (His drive was probably more about short periods of nofap or celibacy). It was done in a very round-about way since the book was from the 1930s.

Basically, as we let the brain get dopamine stimulated by fake rewards (video game achievements, virtual "banging" hot chicks on porn) the less motivated we are to go out and do the hard work necessary to get the real ones.

Today a lot of modern life is about going from reward to reward. People wake up, want their shot of caffeine from coffee, spend all their money on eating out (because bagged lunches aren't good enough), get drunk and what not. America is also the nation with one of the lowest/no savings (rest of west following), skyhigh obesity, health problems and what not.

So this and other habits are what is in the circle of low-reward living, which counterintuitively can make people happier longterm. Being Christmas everyday or constantly on a rollercoasting would get boring and someone needing bigger (and more expensive) highs to feel any elation.

The Power of Habit, by Charles Duhigg, is a great book about it!

(http://charlesduhigg.com/the-power-of-habit/)

It really helped me a lot in changing old habits, mainly the porn usage! I strong recommend reading it.

If you, for whatever reason, can't buy it, message me. I bought the e-book version of it and I think I am able to sent a copy of it (I don't know if this will be considered piracy by the moderators or what the stance of the community is about this subject, I apologize if this is against the rules).

We're all in this together! I read this book recently called The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg (incredible book), and he said that it's been shown that the way people keep off their addictions when times are tough is with community. That's why alcoholics anonymous works so well, a sense of community with other people fighting the same addiction is extremely helpful.

I'll offer that just wanting to quit may not be enough. If it was easy, I doubt this subreddit would exist. Porn is a habit, and breaking free requires a plan and strong discipline. I would recommend reading The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. Invest some time learning about the science behind how habits are formed (and how hard they are to break). Then I recommend reading Every Man's Battle by Arterburn and Stoeker. That provides a very practical application on how to break this particular habit. Good luck!

Maybe we can use this thread for app recommendations.

Here's mine (Android): https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=org.isoron.uhabits

You can tell it to abstain either every day or, if you're on LowFap, to abstain for example 29 out of 30 days. Then if you use that one "Fap day" it will still count as a streak.

It gives a great graphical presentation of progress over time, which I find very helpful. It also shows your best streaks. And your best/weakest weekdays over time, which might help with identifying patterns.

I use it to track both LowFap and pornfree and it made it really obvious how P is the real issue, which is motivating as well.

That book sounds very good. It seems like one of it's themes is avoiding judgment, which is a big component of Buddhism.

This is a great book of daily thoughts to meditate on, and this is considered to be the best introduction to Buddhism for Westerners. It goes into great depth about Buddhist practices that will allow you to harness and mitigate suffering.

Anxiety sometimes leads to depression. (Source: Abnormal Psychology by Barlow, Durand, and Stewart.)

I'm an IT consultant, not a doctor, but I theorize that the porn use might have been masking your depressive symptoms.

Or maybe it's not depression: maybe it's just withdrawal. The <u>Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous</u> basic text includes a good discussion of withdrawal.

There are psychotherapies and other treatments which are useful for treating severe temporary depression. If you're interested, you can talk to a doctor or psychiatrist. Or, if you're in school, to your school's counselling service. See also /r/depression.

If it were subclinical, you could have gone to /r/sad instead. But you didn't say "subclinical depression". You said "severe depression".

May I ask?: Have you ever been to open AA meetings, or any other addiction support group which also hosts a fair number of people with anxiety and/or depression?

Where did I mention "creepy ideas?" The author of the piece did, but I didn't.

I'm sorry your parents were over-protective. I tend to believe in a lot of freedom too. However, the effects of today's porn are not in the category of "things that don't even matter." Although the author of the piece seems oblivious of it, the fact is that today's internet porn is proving quite "sex negative" for adolescents. Google this for more:

Research confirms sharp rise in youthful sexual dysfunctions (on YourBrainOnPorn website)

Personally, I think blockers do little to stop teens, but they are a signal that their parents object to something about internet porn, and frankly, there's growing evidence that parents should be sending these signals. The issue is delivery of endless sexual novelty even more than content. It drives escalation to more extreme material, because it actually leaves viewers more dissatisfied. Recently, 50% of men surveyed reported that they had escalated to material they previously would have found uninteresting/disgusting (researchers' words). That should give all parents pause. Citation: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/286882727_Online_sexual_activities_An_exploratory_study_of_problematic_and_non-problematic_usage_patterns_in_a_sample_of_men

Just want to say well done reaching out here.

I very much second the really good insight that's already been posted.

Absolutely, take a read through this forum and have a look at what people are posting. Have a look through the sidebar. It's all information that will give you a much better idea of porn what addiction/compulsion is.

It will also give you an idea of the many ways to approach it.

Yes, its really, really awful and powerful, but it's not unmanageable. It's beatable. The more informed you become the more you're in a position to feel empowered, to make meaningful decisions, to prioritize your action.

And regardless of whether you decide to stay with your current SO or not, all of that information will only serve to strengthen your ability to navigate one of the most troublesome and least discussed matters of our contemporary culture.

Here is a podcast that's been a great resource for me. I put it on at 2x speed during lunch. Very good info concentrated into a daily dose.

All the best.

Here are my two cents. Getting help is absolutely okay, help in the form of psychiatry (possibly go on antidepressants), counseling, etc. These are things I wish I had done when I was in University, leaving mental health issues simmering is a recipe for disaster.

One book suggestion I might make is Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke, MD. This is currently what has helped me the most. I think the problem for me is I have many addictive behaviours (sweets/treats, netflix/youtube, porn, videogames) and these all overtax the dopamine system and if I only give up one of them then my dopamine system doesn't nearly normalize enough for me to kick the habit. So I am currently trying to kick all of them. Once your reward system normalizes then you will find normal stimuli such as school rewarding again.

One tool I use which helps a lot is Cold Turkey (https://getcoldturkey.com/) you can add youtube to a block list and I think there is even a way to create a block list for porn sites. One thing I find great is you can set it to block until a certain date in the future and lock it so it is extremely hard to unblock.

Hope you find this helpful!

I set K9 to disable internet access from midnight until 8am. It's been doing wonders for me.

To ensure it is safe, I changed the K9 admin email to my best friends email, and I randomized a 15 char. password and wrote it down. I then took that written password and taped it in my locker at work, so I can't just get it anytime I want it.

http://www.random.org/passwords/

> goal to be more assertive towards woman

>…what follows…

Stop feeding yourself this “seduction” bullshit. It shows in your attitude towards women. ’Seddit/reddit seduction‘ teaches you how to be a scumbag. (It's useless if you want romantic relationship, they're more about one night stands and dishonesty). Women are just normal people, not a petrifying specimen you have to chase down whenever you get the opportunity. No need to be scared shitless.

Aspire to be friendlier, more assertive and confident in everyday situations. Not just towards women.

You don't have to get a girl's number within the first minute of every random conversation. Only from pretty the pretty ones, as you wrote: “talking to the people you're not sexually interested does not count”. When you ask a girl you like for a date. It's not your primary objective. You talk to people because you're interested in what they have to say.

Perhaps applying principles from a book How to Win Friends &amp; Influence People or similar would be a better use of your time.

Youtube is literally unusable without YouTube Center – it switches all videos to HD, creates animated thumbnails, makes the video full-window-width and all.

Here’s my exported settings for copy&paste import, for anyone interested.

Two more studies using naltrexone:

Augmentation with naltrexone to treat compulsive sexual behavior: a case series (2010) https://www.aacp.com/pdf%2F0210%2F0210ACP_Raymond.pdf

Treatment of Compulsive Pornography Use with Naltrexone: A Case Report (2015) https://www.researchgate.net/publication/281238010_Treatment_of_Compulsive_Pornography_Use_With_Naltrexone_A_Case_Report#full-text

Nice schedule you’ve outlined here! Meditation, waking up early and going to gym are all year’s resolutions?

>Making life at most enjoyable

Why stop there? :D

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> Making it impossible to get porn at home.

The best way is to set up OpenDNS on your router. That will block most sites on your phone and PC. (My relapses that involved computer started with Google Images, Tumblr, PirateBay and DeviantArt…).

&nbsp;

On top of that, there are utilities to temporarily block your Internet connection until the urge passes: Focus.app, SelfControl.app(http://selfcontrolapp.com/) and many more.

SelfControl.app is stupid simple and well executed, making it pretty much bulletproof even for power users and programmers. Restart won’t help, killing the process won’t help, modifying /etc/hosts won’t help… It’s literally impossible to deactivate SelfControl.app once it’s running without entering a password. (There may be one fatal flaw, but it’s most probably fixed by now).

K9 or CovenantEyes and others are garbage, trivial to deactivate.

It could also be automated to run at specified times or whatever. I’m planning to make a guide for setting up filters for all operating systems.

I think blockers are useful, and I have some that you can probably use (Blockers) and will hopefully help you to prevent porn encounters.

Freedom - Block Websites, Apps, and the Internet

This site is inexpensive (17 dollars/year) and offers excellent protection both on mobile and computer. I've used it during the quarantine and know it's an essential tool for my journey as a pornfree man.

I hope you stick with the choice you make and be well :)

Good Luck!

If you have access to your router you can change the DNS servers to OpenDNS' to block porn at source (be aware this will block it for everyone using the router). If not you can change the DNS servers on your phone/PC.

https://www.opendns.com/setupguide/#familyshield

> Right now I have a lot of stress going on so I use PMO as my escape.

And you always will until you find a healthy coping mechanism. Stay off of Instagram. There's nothing on there but triggering content. Lock down your Reddit account so there's no way to see NSFW content. Specifically for those who don't know:

• Click preferences in the top right next to the envelope icon

• Under the media group put a check in the box under NSFW content

• Under content options uncheck the box next to "I am over eighteen years old and willing to view adult content (required to view some subreddits)"

• Also a good idea: under display options uncheck the box next to "allow subreddits to show me custom themes" since some of those title bar collages can be somewhat triggering even on innocuous subreddits

I usually recommend leaving thumbnails next to links, and if you think the link is triggering based on the thumbnail click the link to hide that post and remove it from your view. Evaluate what you're viewing on youtube and decide if you need to change up those habits as well. If you're having trouble staying accountable then try setting your router to use OpenDNS to block adult content across all devices.

As for strong urges: who do you have helping you through this? You're fighting an addiction using the addicted brain. It's kind of like trying to beat out a fire with a log you just pulled from the fire. You've gotta bring somebody else in and borrow their brain for when the withdrawal gets too bad. If it weren't for my friends and my SO helping I don't know if I would have made it this far. At the very, very least you should be coming on here and posting or commenting. Try using the R|Tribe app for accountability and support. Make sure your videogames aren't triggering as well.

Congrats! I hear K9 is a good one, also, setting your DNS server to OpenDNS so that porn sites are blocked across all devices that access your internet is a great, free idea. Obviously this does not protect you outside of your own internet connection so your smart phone would be an issue.

I had installed K9 a while back but in my view it was too broad. This seems more tailored.

Right, I'm not exactly clear on how it works, as I am not very technically versed. I believe it is a service that operates to protect from phishing and somehow makes internet "faster," and they also allow you various levels of content control. Basically you change the DNS IP addresses on your network. It is apparently owned by Cisco so I assume it is reputable.

I did the "Family Shield" here: https://www.opendns.com/home-internet-security/, although I wound up having to create an account (free) in order to manage the settings and get it to work. You an also use it on your phone although I believe it is specific to a given wifi network. There are fairly detailed instructions. You may have to restart your browser and/or computer to get it to work.

K9 and OpenDNS used conjunction are the best option. And both are free. K9 is really effective on computers. And if you own a cell phone/smartphone that connects via wifi to the internet, OpenDNS on your router is also a good thing to have. As it blocks porn on phones. However, you definetly need someone else to keep the password for you. Unless maybe you use those randomly generated passwords. Because then no matter what site blocker you use, if you know the password, it kind of defeats the purpose of having one.

Here are the links to the one's I mentioned though:

http://www1.k9webprotection.com/

https://www.opendns.com/

Is your phone rooted? If yes, you could download AdGuard from F-Droid and add the "Unified hosts + porn"-list from here: https://github.com/StevenBlack/hosts

After that, use another app to password-protect AdGuard.

You know ecosia? Just use that instead of google for research and you´ll plant a tree with every research you do on the internet... https://www.ecosia.org/

There are many other and more effective options to help ;-)

Has only been about a month this streak, but during this time I've established the longest term goal I have: to be a good father. To some, this may sound trivial, but it is an enormous step in my life. I didn't have a father, and for most of my life I didn't think I would have children of my own because of that. I'm still many years away from that day (not married even) but this overarching umbrella goal enables me to set short term goals and reach those, which give me the dopamine I referred to in my post.

I'm a software developer by trade, so being a good father would involve being good at my job to provide stability. So, two goals I'm working towards today are: read 75 pages of this book daily

https://www.amazon.com/Code-Complete-Practical-Handbook-Construction/dp/0735619670

and finish all the free (no subscription required) practice problems here:

https://leetcode.com/problemset/all/

Another goal coming soon is: get to the gym 3 days per week. No progress on that goal yet; still at 0 per week :^).

It sounds like you are dealing with some loneliness. Is there anywhere you can go to meet some people? You don't have to make new lifelong friends. Just finding somewhere other people are where you can hang out could help. Places like the library often have free classes. You could check out the site meetup.com to see if there are any fun events going on near you. Or even going to a store and talking to the workers about some product you are interested in. A little human interaction could go a long way!

Introvert here! I'll try to keep this short and practical.

1. Make a list of your hobbies, interests, and favorite activities (other than porn, obviously)
2. Look around for ways to do that in a public setting. I have no idea what you enjoy, so feel free to PM me if you want some suggestions on specifics and a bit of a walkthrough. I can give better suggestions if you are more specific. Meetup.com is a great resource as well.
3. Start engaging in your activity/hobby/interest regularly. Just do it for yourself because you like it. As you engage with it, you'll meet like-minded people and create friendships that have a solid basis, including possible significant others. From there you'll probably end up associating with those people in other venues.
4. This is the most important step: have fun!

To fix your temp password problem, I suggest you do what I did. I set the e-mail to a throwaway adress and wrote down the password and stored it somewhere somewhat out of reach. This makes me more mindful and less impulsive about relapsing.

I read this book about 2 years ago. Being completely honest, nothing has stuck with me from this book. Maybe it's because I was extremely addicted to porn on a level beyond what most usually are.

The problem with the book is that the whole point it's trying to make is this: "yes, porn can be addictive". It makes that point well, and uses plenty of science to back it up. Where the book falls flat, however, is in the practical tips chapter. I tried the pushups. I tried the screaming in the shower. None of it worked, and I continued to consistently relapse (with a little bit of improvement) for the next 2 years. It was only when I took the time to psychoanalyze myself, discover the root cause of my addiction (loneliness, lack of connection with anyone) did I ever actually make significant improvements.

The book speaks very little about how porn (and all addictions in general) prey on loneliness. There is a much better book called In the Shadows of the Net which I found to be a much more informative and helpful read than Gary Wilson's book.

Yes.

Porn takes your neural circuitry that usually lights up with sex, and burns it out. That’s the long and short of it. Check out “supernormal stimulus.”

Also, this book helped me a TON. It’s got a lot of science in it.

It's good that you are aware of it. And it's actually quite normal for us to resort to habits to make us feel good when we feel anxious or low. Porn is just one example.

I can recommend the book The Willpower Instinct by Dr Kelly McGonigal, which discusses this a lot. It is also the single best resource I have found in years for the science of quitting bvad habits and building good new ones:

https://www.amazon.com/Willpower-Instinct-Self-Control-Works-Matters-ebook/dp/B005ERIRZE

Late to the party, but it's my second day now!

I've started strong by doing most of the 6 basic action steps outlined in The Porn Trap:

• Tell someone about your porn problem: I've told my SO and we've resolved it quite well. It was a difficult task to do, but it has helped me to take things seriously. I've now realized the extent of my addiction and am further motivated since I now have someone rooting for me already.
• Get involved in a treatment program: I've recently joined Fortify and have been enjoying it so far.
• Create a porn-free environment: I've done the following steps to do this: moved my laptop to a place where people could visibly see my screen, installed blocking software on my laptop and phone, and made sure that I left my door open to my room.
• Establish 24-hour support and accountability: I wanted to join this community for this particular reason. I'm hoping to meet people who are on the same boat and hope that we could help each other beat this!

There is an app called I am sober. It allows you to post updates and track your progress every day. It is really good. Here is the link: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.thehungrywasp.iamsober

i failed repeatedly too in trying to quit porn. What finally worked for me was using apps that are designed to keep you motivated and focused on quitting porn. I recommend giving them a try. I found these apps most helpful: stopm and nopo

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PS: congrats on reaching 8 days! keep going, we're here with you. you can also DM if you need any help - I'm no expert, but can help you if I know something.

Awesome. Keeping going, brother. I struggled around the 2-3 week mark for many months before beating that number. The thing that helped me was this app to quit porn - NoPo Gold. It's paid, but totally worth it. Would recommend it.

all the best. you might wnt to use an app to help you stay on course. I use this one.

nice job dealing with urges without relapsing. there's an app that I use that helps me with this called NoPo. I would recommend giving it a try: link

In "The Power of Habit," by Charles Duhigg, he talks about a habit having three stages, a trigger, an action, and a reward. It is almost impossible to stop a habit because as soon as you get the trigger, your brain starts seeking the reward. The trick is to change the action. Go for a run, learn something new, walk to the store and buy yourself a chocolate bar, or anything else that will have a significant dopamine response. This will change the habit from watching porn and masturbating, to something else. That's what I'm attempting.

Most likely than not, he is practicing semen retention, in which you abstain from ejaculating because conservation of semen is said to be vital to conserve one's energies for other tasks. You might think that such a thing must not be popular..but it actually has been throughout history. It has been mentioned and been a prominent part of Greek, Chinese and Indian philosophy. Lots of famous people have been known to practice it. (Ex. Sigmund Freud, Nikola Tesla, this subject has a whole chapter in the famous book "Think and Grow Rich") Even Steve Jobs practiced something similar called karezza. His comment about 90 days b/w each ejaculation pretty much confirms it. TBH I wouldn't be surprised at all if he was practicing karezza.

It is not certified by science, yet, however, but my personal opinion is there is a grain of truth in it.

You can read about it on google if you're interested..or just ask him about it.

I am a truck driver so I spend most of my day in the driver seat. This is a plus because most the time when my day is over I only have 10 hrs of break time. So I usually eat then go to sleep. Other times the downtime is longer so I find reading and writing to help me a lot.

I have found that I am already a master of procrastination, so when the urge hits I just procrastinate from watching. I found that the best thing to do is ride the urge out. I acknowledge it and just let it do its thing because I know it will pass. Also learning what triggers you and how to avoid the trigger is very important. I reccomend the book, The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. The more we understand our habits the easier they are to fight. Good luck!

That's great that you're reading more. I've just read "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg last night. I had brutal insomnia so I figured I might as well do something productive rather than getting het up about not being able to sleep. He states that habits are a cycle of Cue, Routine, Reward and that to fix a bad habit we should recognise the rewards and cues but replace the routine with something positive, e.g., reading instead of PMO.

I was planning to recommend you 'The Power of Habit' by Charles Duhigg, which is a great book about how we form habits, why they are so powerful, and how we can change habits. And I still write it down, because it is a great book and may be of help.

But reading your post, especially the last sentence of the first paragraph, makes me think that you could greatly benefit from the book recommendation from Effiebies. If you have emotional problems and you have sex or pornography as a coping mechanism, you may have issues with sex addiction.

Either way, good luck.

I would recommend reading some self-improvement books:

"The Slight Edge" - Jeff Olson is what I am currently reading and it has been a great motivational tool.

I have heard good things about "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People".

Just put in 10 pages a day, and recommit to improving yourself and doing the right thing! I believe in you.

Hang in there. You might want to look at the book No More Mr. Nice Guy. It's a men's guide to getting what you want in life. He has a lot of steps to keep one occupied and he deals with sexual stuff like porn. Other good books are ones that focus on triggers. The Power of Habit is pretty good. These are books that talk about triggers. Start recognizing what triggers are and how they affect you as soon as possible in this process. Then you will not be a victim of your stress. You'll own it and find other ways to deal with it. This is my first attempt since reading those and it's going fairly easier. I've gone months and years without indulging. But those were during times with little temptation, those were times that I just lost interest in porn. This time it was intentional. It was to be for good. I've never done good when being intentional. This time, I've faced temptations (my triggers) several times. I've faced that hot desire to indulge and bask in the endorphin rush. I've had a few good arguments with my spouse. (It's a great passive aggressive excuse!) I had a very stressful week, the first week of February. (Another good excuse.) But each time I recognized the pattern and adjusted. I could go on and on. Mainly, just hang in there and be proactive...

I see that you are well on your way to quit porn! That is great man. The anxieties are difficult. Do you have any insecurities or emotional issues? Talking to a professional or trusted person can do wonders. Wish I did that earlier.

Besides that, the best way to improve your self confidence (and with that, being more attractive to women) is self improvement! Eat better, dress better, groom better, go to the gym, find some hobbies you like and make your life better. The women will come.

Another suggestion is reading Models by Mark Manson. The only book you'll ever need about becoming better with women, not with tricks, but with genuine self improvement and some basic knowledge about dating.

Best of luck!

Sometimes its helpful to think about the amount of porn and the many hours spent.

However, for me it can cut both ways - my mind will say a little more can't hurt. Or I can be in danger of being down (thinking of the amount) - my mind says a little porn to cheer me up!

OT - Did you read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance?

Try and get out of your house as much as possible and stay busy.

Install K9 web protection.

Read self-improvement and self-discipline literature. I have read tons of it and my personal favorite is Models by Mark Manson.

Somebody recommended a chapter of the book Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill to me (the text is freely available on the web, the book is from 1937). This chapter, called The Mystery of Sex, talks about our sexual energy and how it empowers especially men, but can also find a less honorable expression.

A quote:

> A river may be dammed, and its water controlled for a time, but eventually, it will force an outlet. The same is true of the emotion of sex. It may be submerged and controlled for a time, but its very nature causes it to be ever seeking means of expression. If it is not transmuted into some creative effort it will find a less worthy outlet.

So get up and start doing something. Learn to play music, hit the gym, play video games, go jogging, whatever rocks your boat.

Take note of the triggers whenever you're thinking of relapsing. What emotional state are you in? What location are you in? What event immediately preceded the thought? Write these down, and you might start to form a pattern, e.g. "When I'm feeling stressed and I'm in my room alone, it hits" or "if I'm looking through reddit and I'm bored, it hits". Then PLAN (this is important)... plan ahead of time what you will do when these circumstances hit. Success in pornfree is not about just taking away something you got a kick out of, it's about replacing it with something better, then associating previous triggers with the good things. Out of interest, I learned this 'trigger reprogramming' thing from a book called 'The Power of Habit" by Duhigg. Borrow it, check it out! Start by thinking, "every time I want to PMO, I'll instead go somewhere public and read at least 20 pages of this book". Good luck, man!

I got a lot out of the book "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg. It's about learning your triggers (emotional state, physical location, what events preceded the trigger, etc.) and then working out different actions that can give you a similar result. So, if you have a plan, then when you know one of your triggers is coming up, you instantly follow through on your replacement plan. Eventually, your brain starts switching to associate the urge with the new, healthier act. Give it a read and try reprogramming your brain. The addiction becomes easier to deal with after the first few weeks, and you build up more and more strength. Good luck, man.

Okay..OP here. I researched a bit and came to this conclusion regarding blocking porn completely on your android smartphone :-

1. You can install apps like Quit Porn/Drug/Food Addiction or Endure Revolution to keep yourself accountable.

2. To block porn, you would need to root your android device. Rooting voids warranty however, and you'll need to backup your data too. Basically, it's a lot of work. But I'm quite experienced in rooting androids, having rooted alot of them before, I'm going to pretty much root my phone.

Cheers

yes, here it is: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00N2AH8NW/ref=as\_li\_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=B00N2AH8NW&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=rehewisere-20&amp;linkId=72WXN5VCR67A2ZDK

Is it this?

Okay sooo,I too have been struggling with porn addictin for several years,since aged 15 actually. I have been depressed for a long time,even felt not sexy enough ,guys havent been looking at me. I had to pleasure myself. I eventually became ,self empowered ,and enlightened,as well as spiritually inclined with things. I recently read a book,by an indie author ,Brandon Bridglal,who really helped me. The book helped me, make sense of life,I have found answers to several questions,I had always asked myself. I'm a deep thinker, by the way. The book had nothing at all to do,with porn,porn addiction etc,but the value of the content,surely awoken my spirits,sensuality,feminine views. I've had new perceptions,newly found love growth within me. Really you should take a look at the virtues ,put down here,it's priceless. https://www.amazon.com/Invaluable-Life-Wisdom-Perception-Provoking-ebook/dp/B0BHHFYPT4/ref=sr\_1\_1?crid=12WRHJKGW3FA4&amp;keywords=brandon+bridglal&amp;qid=1667289846&amp;sprefix=brandon+brid%2Caps%2C1124&amp;sr=8-1

Okay sooo,I too have been struggling with porn addictin for several years,since aged 15 actually. I have been depressed for a long time,even felt not sexy enough ,guys havent been looking at me. I had to pleasure myself. I eventually became ,self empowered ,and enlightened,as well as spiritually inclined with things. I recently read a book,by an indie author ,Brandon Bridglal,who really helped me. The book helped me, make sense of life,I have found answers to several questions,I had always asked myself. I'm a deep thinker, by the way. The book had nothing at all to do,with porn,porn addiction etc,but the value of the content,surely awoken my spirits,sensuality,feminine views. I've had new perceptions,newly found love growth within me. Really you should take a look at the virtues ,put down here,it's priceless. https://www.amazon.com/Invaluable-Life-Wisdom-Perception-Provoking-ebook/dp/B0BHHFYPT4/ref=sr\_1\_1?crid=12WRHJKGW3FA4&amp;keywords=brandon+bridglal&amp;qid=1667289846&amp;sprefix=brandon+brid%2Caps%2C1124&amp;sr=8-1

Perhaps you're unconsciously keeping yourself "flat" because it helps you stave off urges.

With PMO out of your way, you can now learn to regulate your emotions to a positive state. Positive emotion then activates motivation to do things; old things, new things, explore life, be creative. Without positive emotion, just mild positive emotion, we won't have much incentive to do anything. Try doing some of these positive psychology exercises or take this free course in positive psychology.

You could take a step towards breaking the, "PMO cycle," by joining the Recovery from Porn Anonymous Discord server; we are a support group for guys who want to recover from porn addiction.

During those days when you feel, "too sick to workout," or not interested in eating food that you, "usually enjoy," you can attend one of our regularly held meetings, or simply check in with somebody else on the server. During our meetings, we hold each other accountable for our actions in recovery; we on the server recognise that connecting with others who are in the same boat as us can be the thing that breaks this cycle of addiction that plagues our lives.

If you'd like to join our server, or if you have any questions about our server, send me a DM and I'll get back to you soon.

P.S. Porn is not the problem; rather, it is the solution to the problems that are affecting you in your life (I would suggest that you check out more of Matt Dobschuetz's material - such as his Porn Free Radio podcast on Spotify - to understand what he means by this).

I didn’t find a group, the author of this book actually gave me a copy while I was in high school. I didn’t give it a read until I was about to graduate college. It helped me a lot. I hope it does the same for you if you choose to go that route. In the book, you find people with whom you confide and can go to for anything related to your addiction. Yes, the book has religion in it but the author does make it a point to tell you that you don’t need to believe what he does.

I will probably post this in every comment on this sub til I die, but Matt Dobbscheutz has a chapter in his book exactly about this.

He essentially goes through his own experience of getting “caught” but wisely recognizing that she wasn’t the problem.

Seriously ya’ll gotta read it

Hey, I just had something similar today. Relapsed several times today after feeling good for a few days. One thing I want to start doing is counting “days pornfree” rather than “days in a row pornfree” Streaks are the goal obviously, but if we can only string a a day or so together clean, we shouldn’t discount that. Chin up!

I’d say this applies to women just as much as men.

Give it a look

The closest book I can think of is called Cupid's Poisoned Arrow. https://www.amazon.com/Cupids-Poisoned-Arrow-Harmony-Relationships/dp/1556438095. I haven't read it, but it is about a type of sex called Karezza, which involves reducing lust and not ejaculating with a partner. I think it talks about some neuroscience when one orgasms.

Maybe some books about Tantric sex too? That is about having multiple orgasms without ejaculating I believe.

Lastly maybe something by this guy named David Deida.

Take it day by day. Use short term targets to reach long term targets.

1 day > 3 days > 5 days > 1 week > 10 days > 2 weeks > 20 days > 30 days > 60 days > 90 days > 180 days > 1 year

I got those milestone from the below app. It's a simple app with a simple widget to keep track of your progress. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.leoncvlt.nomore

There are many solutions like Freedom, etc. But I personally have used. Coldturkey(getcoldturkey.com) for PC. BlockerHero for Android. They both have free versions that are very powerful.

Ive a wife and 2 kids aswell and being on autopilot is definitely a great way to describe it. I'd highly suggest these 2 books.

https://www.innerchild-sexaddiction.com/

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Unchain-Your-Brain-Breaking-Addictions/dp/1886554382

I relapsed on day 43 recently, but funnily enough, I felt more determined after it and learned valuable lessons for what I need to do next. I recommend reading this book 100%. It's helped me a lot to realise the issue is all in the brain

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Unchain-Your-Brain-Breaking-Addictions/dp/1886554382

I practice Buddhism, Zen and Taoism.

Buddhism is the the antidote to the Western cultural idea that everyone is separate and we each have a certain amount of "worth". You never feel disconnected when you can accept that you are everything. It takes a lot of practice and meditation to change your cultural conditioning but it's very doable with time and patience.

Zen teaches you to live in actual reality instead of living in your mind. When you can see concepts and ideas for what they actually are - electrical activity in your brain - they don't seem to be as big a deal any more.

Taoism teaches you that everything is always exactly as it should be. If you're going through hard times, then that is exactly how it should be and you're better off trying to get something out of it instead of being dragged down. Comparing reality to the best thing we can make up in our imagination is not only completely pointless but it also ruins what could have been a decent moment.

Helping people is also a good way to connect and feel a sense of community. This fantastic book taught me that when you think the world is withholding something from you, you are actually withholding that thing from the world. I always used to think that people were generally coldhearted and aloof, but the book helped me realize that I'd actually ended up that way myself, and I wasn't making any effort to improve the situation.

I am currently using a blocker called Cold Turkey. It does the job. Try using it. If you like it buy the pro version and block porn and give the password to your parents or someone else whom you can't get it easily from. Then you can't really watch ore even search about porn, sex, etc. Unfortunately it is only for PC. For Android I am trying DextoxDroid. I will update once I use adb and set things up.

I believe it's actually called Bulldog Blocker for Android. I should have asked if you use Android or iPhone, my bad.

This is the app I use.

Definitely know how hard that can be. Even when you do feel comfortable to be open with the person you’re dating, having extra accountability partners can be super helpful.

I’ve recently found the Relay app to be super helpful in gaining more tight-knit support and accountability (to complement the broader community support here in Reddit).

Would highly recommend it as a resource to you or anyone looking to get additional strength and support 💯

Here’s the App Store link - https://apps.apple.com/us/app/relay-improve-together/id1569873335

And Play Store - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=app.jointribe