What are /r/aspergers' favorite Products & Services?

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No.

That said, I have told my boss, but only after I had a comfortable relationship with him, and was pretty sure of myself and my value.

I loaned him my copy of Aspergers On The Job, which I recommend you read.

A large part of dealing with aspergers is finding coping mechanisms that work for you, as well as finding understanding from those around you.

Good luck and keep a positive outlook!

A couple suggestions;

1) Buy a really good electric toothbrush, and don't be afraid of returning one that does not work and trying another brand.

2) Use a tongue scraper, not your toothbrush. 10 scrapes should do it.

Hint for 1) https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0052JN7XG/

Hint for 2) https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0711M55BY/

I tell people. Sometimes in work environments it'll get me dismissive head pats or sort of eye rolls but I've got no problem letting people know that I'm mostly aware of my disability and how it makes me feel when they do that sort of thing.

At the end of 2017 I got a job in a management role and I knew it would be challenging for a bunch of reasons. I decided to do some reading up. There was a great book that I got on Audible called called Aspergers on the Job. It had a great forward by Temple Grandin that really tracked with me. Also the first hand accounts from people's experiences with having ASD in the workplace. It gave me a lot to think about and helped me grow some tools for more successful workplace interactions.

I'm 41 and when my wife suggested I read a comic book an autistic woman wrote about her asperger's everything clicked.

I have long ago accepted all my weirdnesses and have adapted. I did two online tests, expecting to get a maybe/probably result... they were both very clear.

I had an appointment for my GP to be transferred to a psychodoc to begin testing but I had to cancel and the rescheduled got cancelled by my doc due to illness. I need to make a new appointment and do not fully understand why I don't. I think I need a reminder for tomorrow.

The reason why I want the diagnosis are the same as yours, OP. Also I might get some points disability which means a day or two more paid vacation. No way I'm not taking that.

Edit: the English translation of Schattenspringer by Daniela Schreiter:

https://www.amazon.de/World-beyond-Shadow-English-ebook/dp/B01GSDHDLQ

Ugh that hurt my ears.

The basic premise is there. The more we try to be social the more overwhelmed we become. And the only way we can recover is to withdraw from the situation, clear the "haze", and try again.

Of course since everyone is in a different place on the spectrum tolerance levels are going to vary VASTLY.

EDIT - Apparently the sim was designed to replicate what having auditory hypersensitivity is like for autistic children. For those of us on the spectrum who don't have sensory problems we can still relate in some way.

http://gamejolt.com/games/strategy-sim/auti-sim/12761/

This is one of the most common autistic traits. Self stimulatory behaviour (or "stimming") is instinctively used by autistic people to help them relax and focus. If you're worried about it being noticeable, or want to resort to something that isn't biting your nails, then a lot of people use fidget toys. My favourite is the flippy chain: https://www.amazon.com/Toms-Fidgets-Flippy-Perfect-Anxiety/dp/B01MAYBTA0

Sounds to me like you need to break your routine. I’m guessing that it feels like you’re not progressing in life and that you have no purpose, and that thinking about what that purpose may be is even scary? Video games and TV are comfortable, but they’re also excellent at shutting out the world around you so you can avoid participating in life.
I’m 25 and I’m just speaking from my own life and how I see things.

I would strongly suggest breaking out of your routine of self destruction. Cover the TV with a cloth so that you don’t feel so drawn to it (sounds weird but what’s weirder is that it works); Clean your room, clean your car, clean your space. Start with your bed and go from there, try out the Pomodoro Technique, wash your clothes, and all that jazz, you know.

Do what you can to break out of your routine, and it doesn’t have to be all at once, all you have to do is change one thing about your day-to-day, wake up earlier or go to bed earlier, get that pineal gland happy, that’d be a great one to help regulate hormones and therefore emotions; or you can limit how long you play or watch something, or after you play go on a walk, I mean I’m just giving examples but the point is, change things up, change something and try it for at least two weeks straight

Get yourself sorted out man you got this

That is why there’s a book literally called “A Field Guide to Earthlings”

(someone else on this subreddit recommended it, and yes it's a good read)

https://www.amazon.com/AfterShokz-Titanium-Wireless-Conduction-Headphones/dp/B018XNGO5A

• Open-Ear Design - Patented bone conduction technology delivers audio through the cheekbone, keeping you connected and aware of your surroundings.

Same. Tentatively diagnosed at around 9 (also in the 80's) but basically written off cuz I was (& remain) a girl :/ officially diagnosed at 42! Cue eyeroll

I'm currently reading a great book, though, just released last year, about women on the spectrum/neurodivergence, written BY a woman. It's called Divergent Mind: Thriving in a World That Wasn't Designed for You, & I'm really loving it. I know it's not an app? But it's a thing, for adults, that you might like? or maybe/ hopefully find helpful. I found it on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062876791/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_fabc_ysOcGbDP3AYZ8

Fascinating - none of these sorts of studies (including MRI) really can answer whether it's cause or effect though. ie. is autism caused by the structural difference, or is the structural difference due to different development due to autism?

Take a look an old fashioned vinyl record:

https://pixabay.com/en/album-vinyl-record-player-record-1866523/

See the lines and more reflective bands? Those are usually parts of the record that are quieter or louder than those next to it (or have an absence of say bass or treble compared to other areas). There's nothing structurally wrong with those areas, yet they are observably different. That's a simple real-world example of the content influencing the visible structure in something we would not normally see.

Zoom in to the vinyl (e.g. https://goo.gl/images/72UZRN) and it gets almost impossible to see this, too much information. The brain doesn't seem any different here, zoom in and look at an individual brain (rather than averages) and the differences get harder to characterize.

A lot of this brain research is just measuring these bands, with no understanding of how what is "recorded" (or perhaps "developed" in terms of the brain) changes the structure. We don't have anywhere near the level of tools (in terms of real-time continuous long term monitoring of the brain and the computing power to analyse it) to even approach a hint to the answers to these questions.

I do that all the time - I think this is pretty common for people who are introverted. Extroverts tend to get their energy from others, while introverts get their energy from within, while people suck the energy out of them. Going to a quiet place helps you to reenergize.

If interested there is a good book called “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking”. It definitely made me feel more normal.

https://www.amazon.com/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking/dp/0307352153/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?adgrpid=55489598109&gclid=CjwKCAiA5o3vBRBUEiwA9PVzaupCwWc8jH3_FAg0opW-fJM9R-deBtsHmkIKkIl3Bkcz-3q730T_lBoCRVYQAvD_BwE&hvadid=274708165334&hvdev=m&...

I love the look of my bose qc35, I mostly use those at work though. The headphones I'm talking about are these ones. They're purpose is to help people with hearing loss, but I found you can also use it for the opposite and turn the world down around you.

I liked this article. Long story short: there is no one who is meant for you, there are people who are more compatible to you and all relationships are work, mainly work on oneself.

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/the-first-lesson-of-marriage-101-there-are-no-soul-mates-545334583

That's Auditory Processing Disorder (a co-morbid symptom of ASD) and, alongside the social and sensory issues, is probably one of the most disabling parts of ASD for me because it prevents all communication in unfamiliar places. When I'm having sensory overload (mostly from colour, movement, shapes and noise), or even if I'm just in a strange and unfamiliar place where my brain has gone into overdrive involuntarily sucking in all the visual aspects like wall angles, anything with colour or writing etc, my hearing interpretation fails. I can hear the speaking, but my brain cannot interpret it. It might as well be Dutch or Chinese to me. When people see that I cannot 'hear' they say the same thing slowly and/or more loudly, but that just results in slower and louder garble. There is absolutely nothing wrong with my hearing (if anything my hearing is over-sensitive).

Do you have an Android device? If so, a fellow ASD Redditor made a really useful app called Emergency Chat (in fact I'd say it's worth buying an Android device just for it). You can customise both the title and the body text (mine explains that I cannot understand what is being said to me due to the environment). I admit though I tend to avoid situations altogether which isn't so good - like not buying a coffee for a long commute home from where my office is, because I simply won't be able to understand what is being said to me, or not going grocery shopping because I just cannot understand the cashier and it usually leads to embarrassment all round.

hey, I run Game Jolt, great work! I love the art style. I've added your game page to be included as one of the featured devlogs. Every time you post a devlog update, it'll also show up here for better visibility http://gamejolt.com/devlogs

Again, this is awesome.

Check out the book Red Flags by Wendy Patrick. It really helps people like us to figure out what are appropriate behaviors and what are not and how to spot the good people with genuine intentions from the bad. It’s been a great resource for me as a aspie recovering from a narcissistic relationship. Helps me discern intentions seeing as how I’m hyper vigilant about everyone being out to get me too, especially after an abusive relationship.

Red Flags: Frenemies, Underminers, and Ruthless People https://www.amazon.com/dp/1250091713/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_504BDVS9D3M2GJ685BBR

I get them at a niche store in Toronto, but I just found out that they're cheaper on Amazon (they're $40 for 60 capsules there). Whether Canadian or American, the price on Amazon is pretty good. Link Also, I am okay with downvotes, it was how I felt like expressing myself regarding the lessening of negative aspects of my autism experience, not to say there are no positives.

If it's any consolation (which means it probably won't be, heh), I recently enjoyed reading the book How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big by Scott Adams (creator of Dilbert).

Failure can be devastating as it's happening, but it can provide powerful knowledge and experience that can be invaluable in the future. Never underestimate the awesomeness of where the contingencies of your particular and unique life might lead you.

There's a lot to be learned from eastern philosophies. Alan Watts does a great job translating it to western people. Taken to the next level we have memes but that's too much to take in on this thread https://steemit.com/psychiatry/@johan-nygren/law-integration-disorders-and-fight-vs-flight-symptom-oriented-treatments-reduce-health

If you’re really into gaming and trading cards, don’t let anyone tell you that you’re worthless cos of your special interest. The hard part will be getting a job based on your special interest (I’m having a hard time getting a job myself) mainly cos’ social skills and outside economic forces.

But if you’re the kind of person who would rather stay at home and play video games [1] than go out, then there’s nothing wrong with you. Idk if you like school, but academia might be a good bet to make a career out of your special interest (they have e-sports and cultural studies departments that you could probably do research or teach). I’m thinking of going into academia to do post-doc research on my special interest (computer science).

There’s this great book called Invisible Differences by Julie Dachez. She’s has Aspergers and discusses her struggles with fitting in: https://www.amazon.com/Invisible-Differences-Julie-Dachez/dp/162010766X

1. Or maybe you like spending time with people, just gaming or trading cards.

There's a few others that I recommend:

The Body Keeps the Score https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/0143127748/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o03_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

It's not always depression https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/0241976405/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o04_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Not sure if you are looking for something else, but...

Flux is nice (https://justgetflux.com/). I use it on all screens now. If you use an Android phone, Twilight works well (the app). These apps "warm" the screen by reducing blue light, which is easier on your eyes when the days draw to an end. You can sync them with the natural light outside.

Are you familiar with Khan Academy? They have a lot of math videos. See if you can find a video about the subject your son is having trouble with and watch it with him. It may help him understand, and watching it with him may make it easier to talk about the content with him.

I would recommend SurveyMonkey for this sort of thing. Questions could be about things you have a high level of interest in (I believe you can allow custom answers), the thing that gives them the most social anxiety, etc.

upwork.com thats' what I use to free lance. depends on your skills, a friend of mine works entirely from home as a financial person - she makes like 60k a year. A lot of office type jobs can be done remotely, you just have to find a job that will let you work remotely.

Freelance opportunities can work - but I wouldn't say there's anything "easy or fast" I would say you would expect to work.

I don't mind at all! Personally, I specialised in web development as I enjoyed the mix of creativity and technical knowledge; it also has a fairly low barrier to entry. I don't have a degree, but I'm actually planning on going back to uni for Comp Sci to give me a better grounding in the subject. With that said, it's definitely not a requirement, but would be helpful to have on your resumé in today's job market. I got fairly lucky in that a friend of a friend gave me work experience, and then a couple of years later he got my foot in the door at the company I work for now.

I believe for some languages have online certifications available - if it's web development you're interested in, I've heard a lot of good things about FreeCodeCamp and their course/certification. They also push you to create your own sites and components, which is really important as showing an employer what you've already done is far better than telling them what you're capable of.

I use this app. It has a similar concept, but additional activities that you can set including concentration, Simon Says and putting numbers in order.

One that I should probably set up involves scanning a UPC bar code when setting up the alarm, then having to scan that same bar code in order to shut off the alarm. This requires getting up which helps wake you up.

What the hell is a weighted blanket, and what does it have to do with Aspergers?

(I'm an aspie, and I've literally never heard of such a thing...)

Is it anything like those puppy calming vests that use pressure to boost serotonin production?

I'm not sure I understood your question, and I'm not sure how this topic relates to ASD/Asperger's, but I'll bite.

1. Get a cheap, terrible old laptop. For bonus points, buy it using gift cards on someone else's ebay account, and have them give it to you when it arrives at their house.
2. Get a cheap USB pen drive.
3. Install uNetbootIn.
4. Insert USB pen, start uNetbootIn, select "Tails" from the drop-down list, hit "install".
5. Wait for it to be done.
6. Shut down computer.

Take your computer to a public access wifi point (like MacDonald's) for this next bit, then:

1. Plug in USB stick and switch on computer.
2. Boot into tails from the boot menu.
3. Click on "Tor Web Browser" on your desktop.

Congratulations, you're browsing the darknet. Check out the hoax for yourself!

Could an A.I. computer learn to follow those conversational patterns? Could be one day we could become lovingly attached to our big brother app.

Edit: this podcast says those types of AI already exists.

.future episode

Not me, but an old housemate of mine was misdiagnosed with BPD before getting a new diagnosis of ASD.

> because I have narcolepsy, there is like a 20% great chance that I also have autism because they occur on the same region of the brain

This is a link I've never heard of before and sounds suspicious to me. Do you happen to have any more information on this suggested link?

I did a quick google and came up with this paper (sci-hub link - you may need to use tor or a vpn or something to get past crappy governments like apparently mine) According to my skim reading, narcolepsy is implicated in a variety of neurological oddities (presumably because it interferes with brain development) but ASD is more of a hypothesis than a demonstrated link...

I just taught myself with little bits and bobs around the web, articles on nettuts are good, or even just looking through sites and plugins to see how they work.

More recently I've used http://www.codecademy.com/ which are completely free (well thought out) lessons to learn anything from basic HTML to Python and Ruby.

I have the same issue. When I leave the house I always have a menthol stick (like standard decongestant sticks (https://www.vicks.co.uk/en-gb/shop-products/vicks-decongestants/vicks-inhaler-nasal-stick), they are quite powerful, some aromatherapy roller balls (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tisserand-Total-Stress-Roller-Ball/dp/B00WHKA2VI) and perfume samples.

Depending on situation or type of smell, I use one of the 3.

Managing people isn’t easy and it’s a whole skill in itself. This is a common issue: companies promote based on technical knowledge, but that doesn’t equate with people management knowledge and issues arise.

It’s important you learn to speak to your team in an uplifting and positive way, criticism must be constructive, and you need to foster collaboration.

You could buy some books on effective communication and people’s skills and take the time to learn (even something as basic as this https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0091906814 or https://www.amazon.co.uk/Making-Manager-What-Everyone-Looks/dp/0735219567). This should be an ongoing thing and it’ll help you in the future anyway. Never stop learning.

Then you could request a meeting with your manager and basically be upfront and say to her “I know I’ve fallen short as a manager but I want to do better and make us successful. What should I focus on first?” Basically ask for feedback.

Finally, run it past your boss first, you could do the same with your team: call a meeting, own up to the fact you haven’t been the best manager but want to do better and ask for input. Owning up to it takes strength and people tend to respect that.

Also, worth saying that not everyone is a good manager. I had a boss who’s the nicest guy on the planet, incredibly smart, is now one of my best friends, but he sucked as a manager. He was too soft and everyone walked over him while his team didn’t feel “safe”. I was too strict, so not great at it either, and I didn’t enjoy it. It’s a skill like many others. It can be learnt, but some are natural and others have to work really hard at it.

Great Scott, man. I used to have like 30 or 40... I can't find them now (think my mom got rid of them) ;-;

They were the best for tactile therapy and my fine-motor control...

I found a 3-pack of them for $13 US... I'm so tempted to buy them LOL.

Found These on Amazon

I saw this interesting article pop up on reddit describing the only reason Aspergers and autism were separated was because during WWII, Hans Aspergers was trying to save those that he could by labeling the individuals with a decent amount of independence capable of contributing to society and thus keeping them out of the nazi gas chambers

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/09/02/436742377/neurotribes-examines-the-history-and-myths-of-the-autism-spectrum

Well, aesthetic attraction doesn't necessarily mean you want to have sex with that person. It's the same as looking at a work of art, such as a painting or sculpture, and admiring its detail.

If anything, give the Aces Wild comic series a look. They were suggested to me when I was trying to discover myself, and I found them very insightful as well as fun.

The syndrome is literally named after the man, and he was Austrian. It stands to reason that it should then be pronounced as the name is pronounced. The second and third syllable rhyme not with "burr" but with "bear".

Listen to the German pronunciation here to get an idea of what it should actually sound like in high German. In Austrian, you may well wish to roll the middle R in addition - he likely used both versions, depending on who he was talking to.

For kicks, listen to the French version as well and realise how awful it sounds when you randomly pronounce a name as if it was written in your native language.

hip hop/rap. the linguistic side to it adds a whole new layer, even when i listening to the song multiple times there are still many things i may have missed. reading the annotations/deciphering the lyrics on genius.com is also interesting and i find myself learning quite a bit when doing so(culture, linguistic techniques, poetry, ect). it generally fits into my taste in music and i enjoy listening to it.

For me, the worst is either the sound of neighbors hammering or the roar of large trucks accelerating on the street nearby.

Yeah, good headphones would work wonders. I'm considering getting some airpods since they don't require me to mess with untangling wires and they can basically function as a pair of high tech earplugs.

Also check out this white noise generator

You may have to try out a few of their presets or maybe even create your own custom preset to find a setting that'll allow you to block out the noise and concentrate if the noise outside is really bad (even if you have noise cancelling headphones.)

it started during a religious throwback we had in the early 20th century called the "social hygiene movement". it wasn't about hygiene in terms of physical cleanliness, but more in terms of moral cleanliness of society, and a crack down on behavior seen as sinful by the christian faith. it was the same time period in which we enacted the prohibition, which made it illegal for adult americans to consume alcohol, and in which we made it a crime for adult americans to gamble. those actions are considered sinful by christian churches.

anyway, they decided that if they remove the most sensitive parts of men's penises, orgasms wouldn't feel as good. if orgasms didn't feel as good. men would have less incentive to engage in "dirty" acts like masturbation, premarital sex, adultery, and prostitution. the american public apparently really liked this idea, because it caught on like wildfire, and by the end of the 1960's, over 90% of baby boys born in the united states were being circumcised at birth. around the same time, they proposed female circumcision to have the same effect on women. that one never really took off to the same degree, but there are still hundreds of thousands of now aging women who were circumcised in US hospitals for that same reason. we don't talk about that one as much.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/187841111X

with circumcision being that common and almost universal, americans just got used to the way it looks and started to see normal penises as "weird". no one wants their son to be the guy with a "weird dick", so they continue doing it out of cultural conformity. many who get their son circumcised today are probably unaware of why it became so common in the first place.

I've recommended this book a few times in this sub: https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening-ebook/dp/B01LWA5RQU/

Well, first off, don't talk for her. You don't know what she'd think of you, so supplementing her voice for yours and then saying something which depresses you is pointless. Ditch that mental narrative as quickly as possible.

Past that, it seems you're doubting or disliking your lifestyle. Being a more productive, creative, motivated person doesn't start with one secret thing. Changing your lifestyle is a yearslong endevour that requires a little effort and a lot of patience.

Now, in times of self doubt, I find myself turning to books. There are three books I'll always recommend to people who need some motivation, or feel the desire to hit a reset button. Check out The Four Agreements, Where Good Ideas Come From, and The Power of Habit.

The first book, The Four Agreements, is a socio-spiritual guide to making peace with yourself and the decisions you make. It's very hippy, but in the best possible way. Good Ideas is a book discussing the natural history of innovation and the idea making process. It empowers you to own your creativity and understand the mechanisms behind ideas. The third book, The Power of Habit, is a study on the cognitive process behind habitual routines. I found this book useful for identifying and modifying the bad habits which held me back.

Now, reading some books won't make you into a more productive person. The only thing that will make that happen is you. You need to want change in your life, and not in the dreaming-about-it way. If you don't like who you are right now, set yourself some goals by the end of 2016, create an action plan to achieve those goals, and then do it. Just do it. Be Shia LaBeouf.

Reading those books helped me actualize the person I wanted to be into the person I am. I can't guarantee it'll do the same for you, but the most important step is starting. After that, just don't let yourself stop until your lifestyle has changed.

Unsubscribing from the distracting reddits has proven invaluable to me. I've removed advice animals, funny, pics, videos-- all of which have comments I get lost in more than the content itself-- and replaced them with smaller, more focussed "fun" subs like /r/oddlysatisfying, /r/beamazed, and /r/imaginaryturtleworlds. Additionally, I've made sure there are at least three subreddits which progress some sort of skill I want to get better at. For me, it's /r/worldbuilding, /r/filmmakers, and /r/DJs.

As for the rest of the internet, read The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. It goes into the psychology of making and breaking habits, and I found the book to be very useful from both a productivity standpoint and a mental health standpoint.

If anybody is interested in practicing their small-talk skills, I'd be glad to give you some practice by talking to you on Skype next time I go out for a long walk.

Anybody else try an app called Wakey.

It was fun in the sense that I'd use it as my alarm clock. So I never knew who my wake-up call was going to be from one morning to the next or where in the world they'd be calling from.

Loved wake-up calls from Aussies. lol

Some people wanted someone to say goodnight to them and others just wanted to practice speaking another language with a native speaker.

That app might be a useful tool as well. :)

f.lux https://justgetflux.com/ can be installed on most any OS, including Mac/iPhones. It's really good for me on my phone and computer and you can reduce the blue/red light. I use headphones to block out sounds.

• Fluorescent lights. Most of the time I can see the flicker, and it gives me headaches and generally makes me go a bit bonkers. It's even worse when I work under them as I work on computers and the interference between the lights and the screen refresh tends to cause a noticeable and entirely unpleasant flicker/jitter. No one I've ever worked with has had this problem but me.
• Restaurants with "pieces of flair". If you don't know what "flair" is, see this. Basically, if I go into a TGI Fridays or anything in that same vein I get completely overwhelmed.
• Sunlight. Yeah, I don't do well outside. When I was in Portland, OR I was most happy when the days were dark and gloomy (when everyone else was depressed :-)

> What happens to guys like us, the ones who dont commit suicide in their teens or early 20's? what happens to those of us who get older? We usually end up in group homes or nursing homes. It's a pretty limiting life.. we dont get to choose where we live, where we go, what we do, or what we eat... but we survive and live.. until we decide not to or until nature decides not to.

This. Your entire post could have been written by me, but especially this part. Sure there are people with aspergers/autism who can have a family, have a great job, have friends, travel, fly to the moon, but for most people on the spectrum, we will either commit suicide or live a life full of misery and suffering, waiting for death.

On the plus side, I read one article recently that the average life expectancy for autism may in face by 35 in some cases, so I may not have long to wait:

https://edition.cnn.com/2017/03/21/health/autism-injury-deaths-study/index.html

https://www.vox.com/first-person/2018/2/19/17017976/autism-average-age-death-36-stress

when i was in a psych ward i thought of a complete game concept. it was a Seinfeld fighting game with minimalist controls. when i got out i made it. its called Strikefeld:

http://gamejolt.com/games/strikefeld/205592

gamejolt isnt loading right now for me so that link may not work right now... but its real. i just updated it 24 hours ago. it has george, elaine, kramer, jerry, and the secret characters newman and soupnazi.

if i have any advice about making your game, its to keep things do-able and be patient. you may find a bug and have no clue how to fix it so just forget about it temporarily. someday the solution will come to you, when you least expect it.

Well, my personal favorite example, one of my favorite characters in general: Scott Summers, Cyclops. If you're looking for someplace to start with the character or even just comics in general, I'd reccomend the new Cyclops series, which shows a 16 year old version of the character hanging out with his biological dad. His space pirate dad.

Also, the person who directed me here in the first place wrote a great article on this subject.

I've been on an anti-depressant medication that includes melatonin for years. I recently went off it to see if I still needed it (yes I do) and I didn't have trouble sleeping even though I used to before I went on it.

One thing I've found very effective is using a program called f.lux. It changes the colour of your computer's display at night so that the light doesn't confuse your brain into thinking it's daytime. If you use digital screens during the evening/night, you might want to try something like that. I get to sleep much quicker since I've been using it.

Hmm, never heard of this as being a potential trait. Do you find it also increases any potential issues with light sensitivity? You might be able to get eye drops to help with reducing dilation, but you would need to speak to your doctor, I'd expect.

Usually our eyes only dilate noticeably when looking at someone or something we like intensely. When it comes to people, pupil dilation is most often associated with persons of romantic interest. It could be that you just have some kind of automatic neurological reaction when looking at anyone's eyes and that would likely be hard to control without medication.

I can only relate a little in that I have a latent squint. So if I am not careful, my right eye rolls off to the side and this has happened when looking at people in the eye. I have freaked a few people out doing that. At least with eye exercises I can control it most of the time.

If this is seriously affecting you, I'd recommend checking with your doctor. Perhaps your eyes also dilate more often in general but it only gets noticed when you look people in the eye, with that being one of possibly various triggers. It could be a sign of some other issue which might need getting looked at:

https://www.webmd.com/eye-health/why-are-pupils-dilated-mydriasis#1

A lot of people with autism have executive dysfunction or executive dysfunction severe enough to warrant a comorbid ADHD (ADD) diagnosis.

So, the answer to your question is yes, but you may also have a subtype of ADHD.

I used AutoHotkey to swap my Alt and Ctrl keys. Not sure if that key position would work for you. But actually you can set any key you want to be Ctrl. There are other ways too for different operating systems.

f.lux. A program that automatically adjusts your monitor's colour settings to match natural light (or at least a reasonable facsimile). Also makes playing colour sensitive games a problem, encouraging alternative uses for the computer.

You can of course override it as and when you need to.

https://justgetflux.com/

That's a really interesting video. I'm almost tempted to send that link to my ex :-/

I think I'm going to see if I can get hold of the treatise they mention early on in the video (Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus) it sounds like good reading. I may even attempt to read it in German :-P

EDIT: It's on Project Gutenberg, which is nice. :-)

Extreme male-brain theory of autism is one of the theories out there to explain autism. It's not the only one, nor it is sufficient. There are quite a few critics of the theory and some others try to come up with different theories to supplement or argue the extreme male-brain theory. I'm telling this mostly because despite the glimpse that BPD and ASD (and specifically Asperger's) may look like the opposite of each other, they are not really. From this study (PDF) for example, Asperger's diagnosis may co-occur with BPD. Also from this site, many women with Asperger's got misdiagnosed with BPD before professionals finally getting it right.

Secondly, BPD is a personality disorder, not a neurological disorder (while ASD is). It's complex and we still don't know whether neurological difference is required for BPD to develop. If it is, does the difference go the opposite way of the difference found in Autistic brain? For now, I doubt so.

been on headspace (https://www.headspace.com/) for more than 3 months now

love it, here's why:

-- makes me more mindful of meltdowns and when im getting stuck on an issue, thus allowing me to better express them

-- has overall slowed down the pace at which i think which is good, keeps me from getting over stimulated

-- headspace, vs other guided meditations provides structure which is good for an aspie + has a long term plan with achievable, material goals that help in sticking with it

i highly recommend it

Check this out. From here you can browse other artists and genres. If you have Spotify (which I greatly recommend) you can cruise thru tons of genre playlists to learn more about new music if you like: http://everynoise.com/engenremap-melodicblackmetal.html

Words are great! Here are some of mine:

• Aliquant
• Anent
• Barach
• Embower
• Thalamusic
• Halcyon
• Bucolic
• Dipsomania
• Myrmidon
• Syzygy
• Frisson
• Petrichor
• Pleonasm (Perhaps like this list?)
• Simulacrum
• Toothsome
• Brio

Also, I enjoy Vocabulary.com quite a bit when it comes to sating my lexical appetite and would highly recommend it!

Web development is probably the easiest to get into. But it generally require's more person-person interaction than other programming fields, still fairly minimal mind you.

Have a look at Treehouse to get you started, and give you a good grounding. Most of the learning, besides code, will be in new terminology.

After that you might want to check out Laracasts.

Then the skies your limit.

I'm on my phone currently, my pc is updating (taken all night..) so I can't stick a ton of information here without it getting messy.

If he has access to a computer or Android device, there's a lot of very age friendly programming systems to get him started and his interest piqued.

I know of at least Scratch - a visual coding tool that he could try.

If he's mature enough, he can even try out python and work toward making games. Python is not a language I know, but it's widely used and highly praised all around.

If he wants to try some engineering, something like K-nex, which has motors, pulleys, chains, etc and a rod system with endless possibilities, could be engaging. I certainly loved them as a kid! You can even combine Lego and knex to make cooler stuff!

There's also a Lego robot thing that kids can program to do different things, but I have no clue how expensive or whatever it is. Just a passing rumor!

Make paragraphs. Separate your ideas.

You can take a look to Markdown, too, if you'd like to add some emphasis.

I just need some structure to rely on. Good or bad, I don't care.

You have an "edit" button under your post. Click it and you can modify your post again.

That's all the pointers I can give you.

There's another good video from a couple years ago, of actor Danny Pudi talking about playing Abed, and Abed's emotions.

Abed's--pretty much the only live-action character I've ever really directly identified with. Major touchstone.

*edited to fix link formatting

I always added "... in a prison shower" to the end of my fortune cookies.

Another fun, related game is with these. Just add the phrase "... ya big fatty." to the end. :D

12 Pieces Spiky Sensory Finger Rings, Spiky Finger Ring/ Acupressure Ring Set for Teens, Adults, Silent Stress Reducer and Massager (12 Pieces) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07RW93CYF/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_E9VYQ55BK2ZG8KQ1YH3A?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

My favorite is a nylon mesh tube with a marble inside. Like this one on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Monkey-Fidgetz-Mesh-Marble-Fidget/dp/B01DE3C836

I really enjoy just pushing the marble back and forth, bending it, twisting it, etc. It's very durable and only stretches a little bit with time.

I am currently reading Improve Your Social Skills by Daniel Wendler. The author has Asperger's himself and goes over a lot of the basics. While I only just started reading it, I did some research and it seems like he genuinely wants to help people connect. So far my favorite thing is that his values align with mine (he emphasizes being empathetic, and building relationships with mutual trust and respect). It sounds like just the book you're looking for based on your post.

I got it off of Amazon for $11.99 USD. Here's a link: Amazon.com: Improve Your Social Skills (9781517309329): Wendler, Daniel: Books

You’re not a freak regardless of your wiring :) you don’t need a diagnosis to tell you that and frankly, a diagnosis won’t even help much after a while, as then you could potentially go for “I’m a certified freak”.. seen it happening often enough on this sub.

Work on your self esteem. A therapist can help you with that. If you don’t mind reading, this is a good book https://www.amazon.co.uk/Self-Compassion-Kristin-Neff/dp/1444738178

There’s nothing wrong with being different. No one had ever made a difference by being like everyone else. Sure, it’s a pain sometimes, but l like being different. I’m a consultant and I get hired precisely because I think differently and can spot things the client can’t (and yes, many of my clients know I’m autistic - if I like them I tell them). Variety is good. We need all sorts on this planet.

If this is not the right time, then don’t worry about a diagnosis for now, but still consider getting some mental health help. At some point, you can always get a diagnosis if you want to, regardless of what your family thinks. I was diagnosed at 43, it’s never too late :) and no, no one can force you to disclose a mental health diagnosis, apart from very specific roles, unless you want to in order to request accommodations.

I hope you’ll find some peace of mind and you can always hang around here, if this place gives you comfort. Everyone is valid, diagnosis or not.

I wrote a book about my dealing with being autistic and self published it to amazon. I sing, write poetry and have been to the magic the gathering pro tour, I was in Esquire magazine twice. I'm on disability. That tends to confuse people into shutting up. If anyone cares my book is here. https://www.amazon.com/Life-Meaningless-Handbook-Erik-McCarthy/dp/1544264976

This one has been written by an aspie https://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/learn-social-skills - you could also ask/check here r/socialskills - they have lots of resources in the sidebar. This book may also help https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0091906814

Thr Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs is the best book to learn programming. Also, learn Unix and C.

The single most important traits are learning skills on your own and banging your head against a wall until the wall breaks.

For fiction, I pretty much exclusively read crime fiction. Some of the authors I've been reading (or rereading) so far this year and their series:

• Tess Gerritsen - Rizzoli and Isles series (First book: The Surgeon)
• Patricia Cornwell - Kay Scarpetta series (First book: Postmortem)
  
• Kathy Reichs - Temperance Brennan series (First book: Deja Dead)
  
• Alex Kava - Maggie O'Dell series (First book: A Perfect Evil)
• Jonathan Kellerman - Alex Delaware series (First book: When the Bough Breaks)
  

For non-fiction (not including autism because that would make this list too long), I'm a bit more varied. I read around forensics, mental health, psychology, and science...plus other things that just look interesting. Some good ones I've read in the past year are:

• The Power of Habit: Why we do what we do in Life and Business - Charles Duhigg
  
• On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft - Stephen King
  
• Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well - Douglas Stone
  
• Danger to Self: On the Front Line with an ER Psychiatrist - Paul R. Linde

Amazing.

I've been stuck on the philosophic nature of value investing since watching The Big Short last summer.

I've read several books including : Ben Graham's 'The Intelligent Investor', Janet Lowe's 'Value Investing Made Easy', Joel Greenblatt's 'You Can Be a Stock Market Genius', Howard Mark's 'The Most Important Thing', and I plan on starting Peter Lynch's 'One Up On Wall Street' today. I've also read a handful of Berkshire letters and Oaktree memo's and listened to countless podcasts that center around a value investing mantra.

I'm also currently reading Peter Bevelin's 'Seeking Wisdom, from Darwin to Munger', which is more of a book on mental modeling and creating a thought process that centers around a system of checks and balances than it is an investment book; although it does quote both Buffett and Munger quite a bit. Great read IMO.

You said you use DCF's to evaluate; I have a problem with such methods as it seems to be counterintuitive... it's like basing the speed of a trip to work based off past trips and taking it as fact. Seems like such an extensive approach that rarely provides a concrete answer... But I'm always open to a discussion... being a logic based mind I am always looking for a better understanding.

In closing, how would you feel about bouncing ideas off one another? I plan on starting a fast track degree program at my local community college here in June. My goal is to be working in the finance industry in the next 3-5 years and opening up my own financial services and business consulting firm within the next 10 years, and I'm constantly looking for people to talk to regarding my interests... as folks like us seem to always do lol.

There's actually a chapter in the book Think and Grow Rich about doing something like this - holding meetings with imaginary people in your head. So I consider it a plus that it comes naturally for me.

I would recommend giving him a few paid chores around the house so that he can "earn" his "keep" and give him a few books about why going off the grid is a bad idea at the moment.

Classics like The Wealth of Nations were enjoyable for me at your son's age, and a simple read. Intro micro- and macroeconomics books are also fun for young people.

The Motorcycle Diaries by Che Guevara

Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain (I'm biased, as I am a Cook & cursed with wanderlust, so Bourdain is an idol)

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo trilogy by Steig Larsson

The Art of War by Sun Tzu

Junkie Love by Joe Clifford

Waylander by David Gemmell

Neuromancer by William Gibson

On the Road by Jack Kerouac

I could go on & on....

Do you think anyone who has mastered skill would have done it if they'd given up at the start? It takes years to become a good artist, practice for at least an hour a day and you bound to improve. One thing i like to do to see my improvements is to find a drawing you like enough that you can draw it a few times a day. Draw it, spending as much time as you need, then on the back at the corner right the date, do this once a week and you'll notice significant improvement that you wouldn't have noticed had you not done it, its similar to how you don't notice weight loss as much if you don't take progress pictures.

Someone else has already recommended Drawing on the right side of the brain which is good for overcoming the "I cant draw" mentality and being able to see that all you are doing is making shapes. I would also recommend The complete guide to drawing by giovanni lombardo for practicing technique and i'd also recommend Atlas of Human Anatomy for the Artist by Stephen roger peck so you can work on proportions. Be careful about buying too many books though, it gets to a point where you are just buying books to make your self feel like you doing something when you cant get into drawing.

Stick to it and I'm sure you'll be great in no time

There's some good stuff buried down in those comments. Hard to sort through it all though.

There's a whole literature about this kind of thing. The entry point is probably Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and Willam Ury. Fisher's other books are all great. Getting Together, which is about relationship building, is probably the most useful book I've ever read about anything.

Fisher and his coauthors have about 15 books between them, and I think I own all of them. Anytime I have some potentially difficult social interaction on the horizon I will reread the relevant sections beforehand. It helps a lot.

TL;DR: Overwhelmingly hyperconnected brain.

There, that's it.

You forgot about sensory issues which I'm sure pretty much ALL aspies have. In any case, all the problems are rooted in the hyperconnectivity that results in overwhelming experience of well, everything - both external and internal stimuli.

Asperger's Syndrome Associated with Hyperconnectivity in the Brain - May Result in TOO Much Empathy

As a side note: If anyone is familiar with Daniel Kahnemans thesis on dualistic thinking modes; (from the book Thinking, Fast and Slow - a best-selling, scientific non-fiction book) >the dichotomy between two modes of thought: "System 1" is fast, instinctive and emotional; "System 2" is slower, more deliberative, and more logical.

You can see how NTs clearly favor System 1 and Aspies favor System 2, I often feel like I'm stuck on System 2 and it's exhausting as hell. I think the stress of being overwhelmed / overstimulated prompts system 2 mode of thinking. (relaxation -> system 1) But that's just my hypothesis.

Betrand Russell's History of Western Philosophy is a nice overview.

Sartre's Existentialism is a Humanism is a nice short, introductory essay that is easy to get into.

John Stuart Mill's On Liberty is accessible, so is Hume's A Treatsie of Human Nature and An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding.

If you like Ancient Greeks, Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics and Plato's Republic are nice. I like Plato's Socratic dialogue Gorgias a lot because it deals with the division between philosophical reason and oratory. It's a nice dialogue to refer to when you think of crafty salesmen and politicians.

Piggybacking off of this, I find that the very, very best resource I've run across for introducing the basics of Buddhist philosophy and mindfulness to be The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Naht Hahn (here's a full PDF of it).

Yoga or another form of light exercise is also very healthy for one with a highly active mind. It even helps with improving coordination and feeling comfortable in your own skin, on top of being good exercise if you do it right. I personally prefer a fairly active style of yoga to an overly meditative one, but I like to also do some seated meditation in the morning when I can remember to (I'm bad with building and maintaining habits and will tend to leave both exercise and meditation on the roadside for weeks or months at a time before remembering and practicing regularly for a while D; ).

I liked it at first, then got bored about halfway through.

Quiet and Solitude are a big deal to me. But thinking back a bit, books like Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and The Handmaid's Tale that describe the inner life of someone who's very quiet mentally and striving to cope with too much stimulation and/or hard times do a much better job at communicating "quiet." Cain's approach to the subject as a How-To manual doesn't make it. Consider My Stroke of Insight, a book about a woman trapped in her own mind for years. That was more moving AND more instructive.

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=net.seebs.apps.modus I really like this one called Miracle Modus. It's different patterns of geometric shapes and gentle sounds, some interactivity. Very good when sensory overload happens.

Previously I only had experience with ones on Newsgrounds which are seemingly made by horny 15 year olds.

Avoid them but if you must, the Love Hina one and the Galaxy Angel one are perhaps the only worthwhile looks, mainly because they are stupid in a mildly amusing way.

As for proper dating sims, unfortunately I haven't had a chance to get into many of them. Hatoful Boyfriend has a bizarre concept but it's actually really cool and has a fun meta-plot.

Katawa Shoujo is sitting there on my desktop but I haven't really got into it properly yet. I'm kind of particular when it comes to writing even if I'm not great myself and it starts off too wordy. However, it's premise is great - all the love interests have a disability. It isn't a pervy aspect; it shows that the disabled are human too, as far as I've been able to ascertain from reviews.

I really want LovePlus in English but there hasn't been a release yet (and might never be). I know you can get an emulator and download it along with an English patch illegally but... well, yeah.

Usually I've experienced dating sim aspects in larger games like Dragon Age and Mass Effect.

There's <em>StarWish</em> which has dating sim aspects, RPG moments, narrative, but the main aspect is a space side-scrolling shooter. It's impressive for an amateur.

I am married to a girl diagnosed with bipolar, and I suspect she could as easily be diagnosed with aspergers as me. She was consumed with studying japanese music when she was younger. She also loves cosplay and sewing, and dolls. Her level of passion for her interests is not normal. If she grew up in my parents household, she would drive my parents crazy as much as I drove my parents crazy.

Our relationship works because I took her to a table-top hobby store in Montreal, and we played boardgames together, besides playing videogames together. We also love films .

We have a library of over 100 PS3 games. Most of them are hers.

She took it upon herself to get a roku, just so that we could also get dramafever.com and other international channels for our tv, and we are netflix subscribers.

I also pushed her to go to Concordia University and she is getting good marks . She likes studying art.

I'm preoccupied studying shamanism . I also study English and am interested in authors like H. P. Lovecraft, Arthur Machen, and Samuel Taylor Coleridge who were interest in daimon worship.

We are not average people.

but we gel.

I think most of the problem with girls and aspies is that most girls are fucking stupid.

but then again I also know that the videogame cosplay babe I am married to and living in Montreal with our continental tastes is not common.

Related, My Brief OkCupid Affair With a World Champion Magic: The Gathering Player

Not hair, but certain microfiber bath mats and deep, faux velvet fabric. I've got a microfiber car washing mitt that I put between my face and my pillow for a while, and now it just sits on a bedside table so I can rub it. (Which would sound crazy to any other group of people. Yay for online community.)

This one, if anybody is curious: https://www.walmart.com/ip/Evriholder-FWMM-Fuzzy-Wuzzy-Microfiber-Mitt/21796443

> I absolutely love when it rains or storms, completely calms me.

During this kind of weather, there is a very real change in the electrostatic field at ground level. It's not just lightning bolts in the clouds.

We live in this field and it's got a strength of about 100 V per meter. So an average person would have a potential of 200 volts at their head if they were grounded (literally by standing on the ground).

http://www.feynmanlectures.caltech.edu/II_09.html

The conditions here are what you find during fair weather. During a thunderstorm the electric field changes and we can sense the change... it feels nice!

It's not just autistic people who sense this either. But maybe we notice it more?

A quick search shows that negative ions give you positive vibes.

https://www.webmd.com/balance/features/negative-ions-create-positive-vibes#1

According to this article, 1 in 3 people are sensitive to ionic conditions. Sources of negative ions are:

• thunderstorms

• waterfalls

• surf at the beach

• This one isn't in the article but... walking barefoot on the ground or on grass.

They sell yellow tinted, aviator style, transition lensed sunglasses on Amazon for 26.99. I have them and use them all the time.

So, does anyone not know that you can check out and return library e-books online without ever going to the library? I did not know this until reading an article about it in January.

There's an app called "Libby." You put that on your phone and then set up your library account to work with it. You do need a current library card and pin #. Then it uses the "Overdrive" website to allow you to place hold and check out books. I think this is really only practical on a Kindle (or possibly a similar e-reader), but it has been a game-changer for me.

Another thing you can do if you have a kindle (or other e-reader) is go to Project Gutenberg and download for free most of the popular classics that are out of copyright.

you might consider writing out a letter to your doctor that he can read while you're there, or you can read for him. When you're looking for a new doctor, take a letter with you explaining your difficulties communicating and ask them if they would be willing to allow you to communicate in this manner. if not, then try a different one. I'm sure you'll find one sooner or later who would be willing to work with you. I've never heard of a doctor that wouldn't allow spouses in the room.

as for the artificial sweetener, sugar, HFC debate. I've seen so many sides of so many different opinions and studies that I really don't know what to believe anymore. I've given up caffeine and drink only Kool-aid, powerade and water now. I haven't noticed much of a difference between any of them. In fact when I drink just plain water, I feel the most dehydrated.

there's always one other option, it's a bit pricy up front, but it would probably pay for itself in the long run, depending on your access to bottles of carbonated water, and that's something like this. http://www.instructables.com/id/DIY-Soda-Water-%26-Home-Carbonation---Pays-For-Itsel/ which will allow you to carbonate the water yourself.

and as much as I hate to suggest this, you may ask a chiropractor for advice about your legs. I have heard of cases where they've been able to help people whose legs are different lengths. but that could be tricky either way, there's a lot of quacks out there. If they want to adjust your liver to cure your aspergers, run.

I've been meaning to make one of these for my daughter:

http://www.ehow.com/how_5525250_make-weighted-blanket.html

I did some research and yeah, all the ones I found are expensive. I figured if it went over well, I might spring for the more expensive ones.

If he likes Vi's stuff then Khan Academy has a great selection of tutor style videos that he might be able to use to get more informations on topics that interest him. Last time I checked it covered everything from basic addition/subtraction/etc through to highscool/college level material. It's not limited to math either, a pretty great resource.

Try f.lux. It will get rid of all fluorescent light on your display. You can set it to automatically turn on or you can turn it on manually. If you're on Linux, install Redshift instead.

$15/hr good for a starting position to get experience for a better paying lab job, http://www.indeed.com/cmp/Covanta-Enviromental-Solutions/jobs/Industrial-Service-Technician-1075328299d914d7?sjdu=QwrRXKrqZ3CNX5W-O9jEvWb81ffC5Ls_Yp4vBP9ufWGsWZBjfLXDV1SIu5V3D1fJ3k3FeAt5s6nyZx3HApXkGY1q2-UJaxEI7uHL6XdasGg

Headphones + music/podcasts/sound f-x - just something other than the sounds around you that bother you.

Something like this would be beneficial (in my opinion)

If you are the sort of person who feels relaxed by the sound of rain and distant thunder, this is rather nice: http://www.rainymood.com/ Also, Enya is pretty reliable if you are looking for something with a soft female vocal and generally flowing, relaxing, new-agey-type music.

I had a buddy who was home schooled that I knew when I was 7-12ish. He loved it and turned out pretty bright.

And as a bonus I am going to leave you with a link to an awesome website with all sorts of fun stuff to help teach people. Thousands of links. Check it out. Hope it's useful :)

P.S. I am not affiliated or financially connected in any way, shape, or form to that website. :p (Please respond to me if you mentally read the P.S. in the douchey commercial voice lol. we're gonna say a bunch of legal shit fast so you can't understand it blah blah blah. Oh and our product may make you dead)

> Something about it feels intensely fake to me.

Maybe it’s like the uncanny valley but with music.

> [The] original hypothesis states that as the appearance of a robot is made more human, some observers' emotional response to the robot becomes increasingly positive and empathetic, until it reaches a point beyond which the response quickly becomes strong revulsion. However, as the robot's appearance continues to become less distinguishable from a human being, the emotional response becomes positive once again and approaches human-to-human empathy levels.