FYI: Mirror on the ceiling can be dangerous. They are heavy af, and if they fall on you, well, it'll be very bad. However, there is a safer option; Acrylic. It's very light, and if it falls on you it is unlikely to even break. We installed one a decade ago using 4 ceiling hooks, using the butterfly bolt, so the hook doesn't come out.
I saw a lecture by the writer of this book:
She argues that in the sexual world, women's sexuality is worth a certain value while male sexuality is worthless.
For that reason, men are considered buyers and women are sellers for sexuality. She attributes that to the fact that women have a limited number of possible offspring while men have a virtually unlimited number.
So when a woman is taught to claim she doesn't want sex, it's likely an (outdated) method of increasing her sexual value.
The amount of pineapple juice you'd have to drink to effect a noticeable change would mean a serious amount of sugar.
Bromelain is the concentrated enzyme from pineapples that does the job without the diabetes, and also cheaper than buying liters of pineapple juice.
There's an interesting post from here, two years ago where a guy tests it out with his wife who is pleasantly surprised by the results.
If you haven't read Come As You Are , I highly recommend it. It's not a Nirvana biography, it's a book about women's sexuality. Orgasms are talked about in depth. My IUD and antidepressants make it difficult for me to orgasm like I used to. This book really helped me understand what was going on and recognize tat I was having orgasms, just they are different than the screaming, shuddering ones in porn flicks. I'm much more ok with not having those every time and knowing what I want from sex. Like you said, there are times when I don't come and the sex is fucking incredible. Sometimes I want to remember every detail, and if I'm focused on coming, I can't do that.
Although the liberator feels nice, it actually doesn't do a good job of soaking up the liquid. I just got a new squirt-friendly blanket from Amazon that I love, and it's worked very well so far.
( THROWS OF PASSION Waterproof... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B075WZGFJG?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share )
I also have waterproof mattress protectors and have even soaked through those on good days, so being able to absorb volume is what matters to me.
I also take puppy pads with me to other partners' homes or to sex parties so that I don't leave big puddles everywhere, haha. Look for super absorbent ones.
I hate these pedantic corrections that pop up every now and then, but I really love the word faze and would be delighted if you could bring yourself to help it survive another couple years.
Get a heater for the bedroom that gently spits out warm air so she can expose the lady bits without too much of a chill.
As for your issue with pjs. I don't know if this is going to get you laid, but it's what you're looking for.
Prescient as he always was, Isaac Asimov in his sci-fi Elijah Baley novels, The Naked Sun and The Caves of Steel, saw all this angst about sex coming and even envisioned a technically advanced culture getting to the point where people only ever had virtual sex as direct human interactivity in person had become too anxiety provoking.
Edit; btw these books were written in the 1950s
I found a post a while ago that recommends these blankets:
Keep in mind that it’s quite warm but damn do they work well
Honestly, best purchase I’ve made
Regarding the sound file in question, it has already been confirmed that this is a minor bug - a temporary file that is created when someone uses the Sound Control feature. Your concern is completely understandable.
But rest assured, no information or data is sent to our servers.
This cache file currently remains on you phone instead of deleting itself once your session is finished. Also, when the file is created it overwrites itself (no new files are created).
Our programmers have confirmed this bug on android and we are currently testing on iOS. We are also working on an update that will be released on November 10th 2017 that will make this file automatically delete after you stop using the sound function.
We hope this clears things up.
EDIT 1:This is the Lovense official account. We'd also like to point out that this is a minor software bug . We'd like to thank u/tydoctor for finding and bringing this issue to our attention.
EDIT 2: We can confirm that this bug doesn't affect iOS devices, only Android.
EDIT 3: The bug has been fixed and an updated version of Lovense Remote is now available for download in the Google Play store. If your device is running a previous version of Lovense Remote please upgrade to v3.0.7 by clicking here.
The fix deletes the temporary audio file 'tempSoundPlay' after exiting the Sound Control feature and the app will do an additional check and delete each time the app is started.
Sounds like you'd benefit from an ad blocker... https://github.com/gorhill/uBlock#installation
Might not do anything for your views on which sex acts degrade women or not, but it'll at least keep some of the advertising at bay.
EDIT: updated link to uBlock Origin, the one I use and the one I meant to link in the first place.
There's a lot of talk among biologists who study mate choice, of the importance of aroma in mate preferences. There has been some interesting work linking this to a person's MHC genetics, which are those genes that determine the characteristics of your immune system.
It takes a little bit of thinking, but bear with me. The major reason, genetically speaking, to even have sex (i.e. sexual reproduction, as opposed to asexual reproduction) is because of the frequent reshuffling of genetics that goes with sexually conceived offspring. This "rescrambles the combinations of the locks that guard the doors" of your physiology. Basically, it makes it harder for parssites, germs, viruses, etc, to open those doors and infect your system.
So the theory goes this way: you need to pick mates who's immune genetics are maximally different from your own, so as to give you offspring who's "locks are hardest to pick". One way you can sense this is through smell. Basically, people who's MHC genetics are most similar to yours should have the worst aroma to your own nose.
Can't think of a specific ref for this, but I seem to recall some studies testing this exact hypothesis it, using pre-worn t-shirts as stimuli, showing that people do prefer the aroma of people who MHC genetics are most dissimilar to their own.
Actually, here you go:
This is my first post evar. Although you can tell from the italics I've stalked like a pro for well over several days.
Back on topic: I second your motion on Predictably Irrational (have it on the shelf here) but would like to recommend the wikipedia page. It reads like a summary of the essential points made in the book and gets the most important info across.
Also, if you find the wiki page interesting, the money on the book is well spent, lots of interesting info and funny examples.
Source: I have the book
PS: I am not Dan Ariely (in case I sound too enthusiastic)
PPS: posting a comment is fun. Yay!
Edit2: Someone gave me an upvote, I just got my comment karma flower popped! YAY! Thanks to whoever did that! I can see why people like this Reddit thing. This is awesome.
From a sexual and mental health perspective:
I think it's safe as long as you're responsible. You probably want to spend a few minutes reading up on BDSM healthy practices, safe words, stop light system, aftercare, etc. When you're getting into heavier play, there are some considerations that may not be obvious at first.
From a firearms safety perspective:
DO NOT USE A FUNCTIONING GUN. That is incredibly dangerous. So many people get shot by 'unloaded' guns that it's a cliche to even mention it. Hell, I can personally think of 3, no 4, people that had accidents with 'unloaded' guns. That's just people I personally know/knew, never mind 2nd hand stories. You can find very realistic fake guns and they're probably cheaper than the real thing anyway. BB pistols like this are a good cheap option and can easily be disabled. If she's familiar enough with firearms that a fake would ruin the immersion, use a gun that has been disabled in a robust fashion. (i.e., critical parts have been removed.) Do not rely on the safety or trust it to be unloaded. If you already own guns, I assume you know how to do this.
If you're purchasing a gun for this purpose, contact a gunsmith or a shop that deals in used guns. (Almost all shops do.) They'll likely have some broken piece of shit in the back that they will happily sell for cheap.
I think this is a feature exclusive to Samsung phones. I don't see the option on my Nexus 6P running Android 7.1.1.
I use the Trusted Contacts app instead.
There's a switch you can get that connects to The hitachi and allows you more options. Somthing like this: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001TJ6MWQ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_p7N.CbN68D5EE
You could also look at getting attachments for the head so it's not directly touching your clit.
I have the answer to 2.
Drop $25 on a bidet attachment. Takes 15 minutes to install. Here's one I recommend: https://www.amazon.com/Brondell-Bidet-SimpleSpa-Non-Electric-Attachment/dp/B075MMHQX7/ref=sr_1_7/147-1139475-8698134?ie=UTF8&qid=1529920128&sr=8-7&keywords=bidet&dpID=41UXz-xNppL&preST=_SY300_QL70_&dpSrc=srch
Never wipe again, have a perfectly clean, freshly-showered ass every time.
In Daniel Kahneman's book, Thinking, Fast and Slow, he outlines the best formula/predictor of marital happiness.
> Frequency of lovemaking minus frequency of quarrels.
Sex is very important.
I argue it is the most important factor in a relationship.
Mismatched libidos are a frequent cause of fights as well.
"She’ll be placed in the circle and the winner selected by fans will deflower her. The other two will then join the ceremony and make her airtight."
I love the flippant way this is thrown into the mix, as if the idea of a (very recent ex-)virgin getting penetrated not only vaginally, but also anally and orally simultaneously is a bit dull after Hymen-Cam.
EDIT: I just realised after I'd posted that I instinctively knew what "airtight" meant. sad sigh
I advise people who like choking to just try lying with their head and upper body dangling off the bed. (Or just hanging upside down from the ceiling, if you can arrange it.) . It increases the blood pressure in their head, giving a very similar feeling.
Make eye contact.
Enunciate when speaking.
Don't interrupt. You can make a mental note of what you want to say and wait for your turn to speak.
When someone gives you a key piece of information, acknowledge it in your response to them.
Don't divide your attention when someone needs your full attention. "Multitasking" is a myth when it comes to personal interactions.
Remember that the person speaking in front of you at that moment is always more important than whoever's on your phone. If you absolutely have to go to your phone, at least excuse yourself.
Generally treat people like their time and attention is valuable, if they've chosen to share some of it with you.
That's a pretty good start. I'll also plainly state that the super-corny Dale Carnegie book How To Win Friends and Influence People is not stupid or irrelevant, even if you decide that its techniques aren't for you.
Short answer: no.
Long answer: kinda yes but mostly no.
Difference between medicine and - for example - "diet supplements" that "increase your brain function" and "gives you crazy superpower" is that actual medicine has to be tested, show some results in clinical trails, etc.
But, it's used to treat hypoactive sexual desire disorder; meaning that just because your girlfriend has low libido doesn't mean it's an abnormal libido.
Testosterone would also increase her sex drive but side effects and long-time effects would be so bad that considering testosterone is kinda crazy.
Best thing to do for her is to visit her gynecologist and there she can get actual medical answers and possibly help; "fixing" medical problems on your own is almost never a good idea.
I think I have to mention ublock origin is the better alternative. It's from the original author from unlock before he leaved ublock and started ublock origin.
Source: ublock origin
Also, the Vice Guide to Eating Pussy
and She Comes First by Ian Kerner
get some enzymatic pet stain remover. Its designed for the job. https://www.amazon.com/Rocco-Roxie-Supply-Co-Professional/dp/B00CKFL93K
Have you smelled and tasted yourself? If it smells and tastes fine, then it's him. You mentioned that he's never done anything with another girl so maybe he doesn't know what it's supposed to smell like. Sometimes I don't like a particular food the first few times I taste it, but I might grow to like it if I keep eating it. It could just be that vagina smell is new to him, so it smells weird to him.
If you smell and taste yourself and it's bad, you can work on improving it. I know you already mentioned you were doing that, but here is some more info on how to make yourself smell and taste better through hygiene and diet.
“involving only a close or limited group of people, who do not communicate or do business with people outside the group:
Journalists and politicians often have a rather incestuous relationship. “
Language evolves as people use it.
For the folks that don't have the money or ablity to re plum their shower you can buy a dual shower head attachment. Amazon has a few for $30-50. This is the one we got and works well for $35 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LXXBFKQ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_eEppAbMDHBHCZ
Time. He needs some time without that kind of stimulation.
He needs to take it seriously as well, not masturbating without lube, only use the speed that he would have sex with, and a light touch is required.
If he's having with the light touch idea, Tenga makes a male masturbater that should provide a good buffer for a few sessions.
This OP - take advantage of your other furniture :)
Or buy one of the nice queen sized air mattresses like we did...
Here is a pretty nice and affordable one at Amazon
Hey, I might be batting way off-target, but this might be a rewarding read?
The Search for Sexual Intimacy for Men with
Cerebral Palsy, Russell P. Shuttleworth, Ph.D.
While it focuses on the issue from a masculine perspective, it may have useful parallels.
I've got it. It barely works and really doesn't do anything. Plus it's noisy as hell. Use this one instead.
In my not terribly considerable experience, orgasm, refractory, repeat. I like to switch between clitoral and g-spot orgasms to give her some recovery time where possible.
I have a pdf somewhere that explains this well, let me see if I can find it.
Edit: Here you go.
There’s an entire book written by a man dedicated solely to performing oral sex on a woman. It’s very tastefully (no pun intended) written and it would be an awesome read for you and your husband. She Comes First
If you are in the US your insurance provider by law should be covering IUDs as of January 2013 unless they have a religious exemption. If they cover pills, they should cover IUDs. Definitely pursue other places to get it. Check with your local public health department, doctors office, or Planned Parenthood, because sometimes they are able to get you access to programs that help with covering contraceptive care.
Edit: This may also be a good resource for you if your insurance does not have an exemption and are for some reason giving you the run-around: "If it seems that your plan is not following the law, don’t despair! The National Women’s Law Center will help you sort this out for free. Call our toll-free hotline (1-866-745-5487), email us at , or visit CoverHer.org to get started. We are working with women across the country who are having trouble getting their method covered without a co-pay."
In the words of Salt 'n' Pepa
> He may fiend and have a wet dream
> Because he seen a teen in tight jeans
> What makes him react like that is biological
> But scheme of gettin' in those jeans, is diabolical
As the rest have said, an attractive person is an attractive person. Being a rational adult you can realize that this is just a biological response and you can choose to ignore it. Obsessing over or following through on these urges is where problems arise.
Hang them with command strips so you can remove them easily. $10 that will save you so much headache in any close neighbor situation
Well crap, it’s $84 now. But knowing how much better it is than a box spring, I’d say it’s worth it. You may be able to find a cheaper one though. It’s also super easy to assemble.
Zinus Luis Quick Lock 14 Inch Metal Platform Bed Frame / Mattress Foundation / No Box Spring Needed, Queen https://www.amazon.com/dp/B072LFJTFJ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_MJVxDbK6JMTVG
That one's garbage. Get the Hammerhead one here.
It's awesome and can even be used with other toys such as sounds or another smaller vibrator right on the very tip. Or maybe just you or your partner rubbing the tip while the rest of your cock gets a massage.
i don't know what this is called but it's the only thing that consistently and quickly gets me there. i thinkw e found it in the sex bible but i don't have my copy nearby to look.
we start off in a pretty normal cowgirl, which is fun, but then i turn a little further than 90 degrees to my left (right doesn't work quite so good). i make him put his right knee up and i grab onto it for leverage and pressure. the depth we get this way is amazing and i get to grind my clit against the inside of his thigh. it's a little impersonal but he gets a pretty good view of my ass!
Hmm some are almost too stimulating that it numbs you.
Here is an amazing one that you can get off amazon. I hope links are allowed. It really feels great and doesn’t overwhelm you. It’s pretty unique among vibes and is made specifically for the clit. My only complaint is that the shape is a bit bulky.
You seem to be missing the point. No one is arguing against sex-ed. People are simply saying that having a dress code in a school is not slut-shaming. Both boys and Girls have dress codes (i.e, no baggy pants, no showing underwear, no hats, no sleeveless shirts...). Are such dress codes anti-male? Of course not. It is simply a way to retain focus on the schools actual purpose: learning, not "expression." School uniforms are undeniably an effective tool in curbing conflict within school settings. There are numerous articles supporting that fact, it is largely indisputable. That is, obviously, not to say conflict will not occur in the presence of uniforms but, that it is radically minimized.
Nearly, all new chartered and private schools require uniforms for this reason. Even libertarian Education Management CEOs (like JC Huizenga of National Heritage Academy and the Mackinaw Foundation) have come around to the school uniform side of the debate; as opposed to the maximizing expression argument [very Un-libretarian]).
edit: expanded post to include the italics
> I think a many of the complaints about age gaps are just social stigma.
The stigma is there for a reason and imo, it's not always as strong as it seems - case in point, Leo Dicaprio won't date over 25 and it's not unusual to see an older man depicted with a younger women in media. Age gap relationships are really understudied but what we do have is not encouraging - very much the opposite. For example. A lot of research looks at teenagers where we know age gaps are obviously dodgy. I wish we had more research on it. There was a small study in Nigeria which found age gap relationships between 4-10 years were at higher risk of abuse, but interestingly there was less risk of abuse if the gap was 15 years...why wasn't really ascertained, but I think the fact the 15+ year gaps meant the men really were very old probably played a part.
Not to say they'll always be bad but in an age gap relationship, the younger person is inherently going to be in a more vulnerable position which makes the situation more easily exploitable. It's not a death sentence but it is a red flag.
>The faucet isn't a standard shape, we haven't been able to find a wrenched that won't dint the metal,
Maybe a Rubber Wrench would work?
Since it seems to be there to help prevent me from fracturing my penis on her pubic bone during an accidental pull-out, it is both functional and beautiful. I was a little worried the one time I slept with a woman who had no body fat there (or almost anywhere.) "Why u no squishy here?!"
Edit: Maybe the mons pubis acts like the water barrels in from of highway onramps. link and women to woman. :/ sorry bout that.
>Oils dissolve latex and polyisoprene condoms.
Here, I'll save you a lot of time. All the references to "oil weakens condoms" actually stem from a single study, which used machines to destructively test condoms with mineral oil and without and found that it reduced the stretchiness, but not the breaking strength, of latex condoms. Another study looked at actual couples, and found no statistically significant increase in condom breakage for couples using mineral oil (though it increased the risk of slippage).
As far as I know, there has never been a study to determine the exact chemical nature of the interaction between oil and latex. As far as I know, completely saturated fats like coconut oil have never been studied with condoms.
The advice of the medical / sexual health community is understandably cautious, but you should be aware of what the science actually says.
And remember Reddit, I am not a physician, and this is not medical advice. Consult a physician before using any product related to your reproductive health.
Might also be ass sweat from him. I ended up getting something like this and it's been a godsend.
I'm so so sorry, this is a tough thing to go through. As others have said, the biggest thing is finding some professional help. Be patient with yourself, there is no magic thing that will make this less challenging to walk yourself through. But you absolutely will, and you are not alone.
Reading your post was like something I could have written myself a few years ago. I'm still working on it. Learning to have respect and patience for where I was at in the process was a thing I really struggled with, because I just wanted to be done with it and put it behind me. When I couldn't afford therapy, I read a lot of self help books and these two really resonated with me: The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk and Trauma and Recovery by Judith Herman. Please feel free to PM me any time if you want someone to talk to.
I think this is a good question - I hope people answer honestly because I'm curious to know as well - I know I will.
I don't consider myself lonely. I'm living with a close friend that started out as him protecting me when Corona started and nobody knew what the hell could happen. Now we get along fabulously and have a very healthy sex life.
A few years back - I started a chatous.com account and random chatted different people and really enjoyed it - then eventually came across someone who I could trust and made me feel a lot more comfy - which I started opening up about my past sex history... some of them. Instead of feeling guilt for a lot of the things I did, it actually felt therapeutic to open up to him and not be judged. He actually thought it was exciting for me to confess the things I did and be honest about how I felt at the time. It actually became a turn on to remember those awesome memories.
I think the bottom line is I was slut shaming myself for years - never even told anyone about my past adventures in my party girl years and then when I did - it was this relief to feel like I wasn't some terrible person for living a bit wild when I was younger.
I haven't really told any of those stories here, but if I did - I would be worried about being judged pretty harsh. People on reddit can be like that, unfortunately. But if I could have my wish - I would tell my past adventures and the person on the other side would be excited to hear someone else's experiences and want to hear more or confess their own awesome memories.
Just my small sample size, but feedback from a couple drivers consistently indicates that the "BumpHer" toy is more enjoyable and more-easily-orgasmic than any of the insertable not-really-strapless options. A+++ feedback, so I've gifted a couple of them, which begat more A+++ feedback. The bonus for me is that these back-end toys for her are adaptable to any toy on the front end. Just my $0.02...
Just a note on the part about going through a pack of condoms in a week. Don't buy condoms in the drugstore,youll save a boatload of money buying online. You can get a 25 pack of skyn condoms for like 12 bucks on Amazon. Or for $13 you can get a variety pack of 72 condoms
My wife like these that I bought her.
Thigh high socks.
This book might help you. It’s often recommended by counselors who work with sexual assault and abuse survivors. Maybe it would help you to read it as well, but remember, although you are wonderful to be so supportive you can’t fix her. Be easy on yourself. Take care.
My advice? Don't go the complete opposite direction and just start sexing everything in sight. People who have been living super structured lives sometimes find themselves disillusioned and even more dissatisfied with their lives after they "cut loose" due to guilt/inability to handle emotions they haven't had to deal with before. I say you should educate yourself on sex and relationships. There are plenty of good sex books on Amazon. But one of my favorites isn't even really a sex book, per se. It is called "The New Male Sexuality". As to relationships, dating is the best way to learn how to interact. You don't have to have sex or a relationship with every person you take out on a date. If there is no spark for you after 3 dates, move on (even fewer dates if you are absolutely repulsed, haha) I would wait until I find someone who cares about me to lose my virginity. Going from choirboy to the guy who picks up women at bars and has casual sex is probably not going to be the best thing for your psyche. Good Luck, man. You are going to make a few mistakes. Just try not to let them define you.
> bidet - freaking expensive
It is far cheaper to just get a bidet than using toilet paper alone, or toilet paper in conjunction with wet wipes. I did the math.
Okay, as someone who gets UTI’s probably once every three months...I have to preach for a sec.
Another user on a post looooong time ago posted about this fucking miracle juice and now the second I feel a UTI comin’ I drink 4 capfuls of this a day and I am GOLDEN. Seriously...MAGIC. It’s gotta be the liquid though. Pills don’t seem to help.
Sorry you’re strugglin’. It’s seriously the worst.
My parents got me this book around her age and I loved it! It allows her to read age appropriate material and understand her body and he changes it will go through. I really can't recommend it enough.
Towels are inadequate for squirting. You want something like https://smile.amazon.com/Washable-Underpads-Incontinence-Reusable-Lifestyle/dp/B08778WFCX/
I have this one and It's amazing. Medical grade silicone so no yucky plastic smell.
Sticks on practically anything! (Even your forehead if you feel like having a unicorn moment)
Edit: wow just realized I forgot the link. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01DGHWTYS/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&th=1
It's so your hands are free for better multitasking. You can file taxes, include a TPS report, stick a finger in their anus, or order 1500 live ladybugs on amazon.
Ahhh you have not heard of stainless steel soap! It's magic. Takes hockey smell off my hands, pussy smell off my face, and shoe smell off my feet. It's cheap, easily washable, and you can have it tomorrow.
Just incorporate the sex toys when making love to each other. My wife uses a small wand while I penetrate her, all the foreplay and acts leading up to it is what is important, not what pushes her over the edge.
This is the wand she uses and it's amazing :
CalExotics Inspire Massager –... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003CYKZRE?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
The clitoris is actually a fairly large organ, most of which is internal. The part that is visible is just the head, analogous to the head of the penis (glans). It's a foci of nerve endings so is extra sensitive. However the rest of clitoris extends inside the body on both sides of the vaginal canal in two nodes. Much like the shaft of the penis, this engorges with blood during arousal and feels good when stimulated.
So vaginal penetration is still pleasurable, just a duller sort of pleasure, not as direct as the clitoral hood.
For an illustration see here:
For more, see here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crus_of_clitoris
and some details here:
Whilst this may not help, your fiancé is a lucky man, as he has a lady who is able to SHOW him how much she enjoys herself with him. I envy him.
As to the actual question asked, you may with to consider a specialist waterproof sex blanket such as the Liberator https://www.amazon.com/Liberator-Fascinator-Throe-Moisture-Resistant-Blanket/dp/B00EOXYQPE
This will let you enjoy your delightful ability without the worry of cleanup apart from just throwing the blanket into the wash.
You’d also likely benefit from water borne sex too, such as in the shower or bath, where your ejaculate can disperse easily.
Hope this is of some help, and please don’t be put off on any way
It's highly ineffective and doesn't prevent the transmission of sexually transmitted infections. PLEASE use a condom.
Here's some information about it from the Mayo Clinic. Note that Mayo stresses its use for creating intended pregnancies, and recommends against its use as birth control. PLEASE use a condom.
>In general, as many as 24 out of 100 women who use natural family planning for birth control become pregnant the first year.
PLEASE use a condom.
Also check out Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski. It's a really good look into female sexuality and deals with the exact issues you're describing.
Every one I've lived in. They're "privacy locks"; they're not for security, they're just to prevent someone from wandering in. They can be unlocked with either a straight pin
or a small tool that resembles a flat screwdriver
(and, in fact, you can use a small screwdriver to unlock those).
I don't think anyone is saying dump the person over sex right then and there. This is a woman who has had a serious discussion about her dissatisfaction over the sex and her partner's inability (or rather unwillingness) to change anything. He could go buy a book like She Comes First and learn some techniques that will help his woman have an orgasm before he even gets inside her. He could slow down and ask her what she needs to get more aroused if for some reason he can't teach himself to go longer than two minutes. He could learn how to kegel to hold back his ejaculation if he mistakenly goes too far too fast. He could wait a few minutes or perform oral or heavy petting and get another erection (unless he is a one and done type guy) and use THAT one on her. But despite her complaints, he has done nothing except say, "Don't hate the player, hate the game." That is selfish. And while it is only selfish in one area of their life together, who wants to be told, "Oh yeah, no more orgasms for you for the rest of your life." I don't care if you are 70; that is a hard sentence in a cold prison.
Your relationship is 1 sided and she isn't supporting you emotionally or sexually.
What do you want people to say.
You're right, sex is a big part of marriage. I think it was in Thinking, Fast and Slow that Daniel Kahneman talked about the biggest predictor of a relationship failing is the frequency of sex. No matter what else may affect it, intimacy is the number 1 issue.
I guess you are like "20 years of shitty sex life, what's another 4" but you should really really think about whether it's something that is truly worth it. You are doing this for your children, but they aren't infants. Your youngest is 14. That's not growing up without a father. Even if you get no custody... It's not going to "affect them immensely." It may surprise them. But of my friends who had parents divorce at an older age it affected them much less than people who had parents who divorced at a very young age (that can really mess you up).
Your wife is extremely selfish. When you get married you agree to work through shit together. You don't get married to unilaterially declare that only your needs matter and the other person needs to bend to your will. That's not in anyone's wedding vows.
Maybe your taking pride in "finishing" your marriage. But there is no pride in self sacrifice for the sake of nothing. There is no pride in showing your kids that it's ok to be walked all over and that "marriage" is more important than self.
Sorry if I was still harsh after your admonishments. But you really really need to think about whether this is something that is worth it for your kids, versus what you are losing. Do something for yourself. You seem to have conquered your depression. Now show that you have some self esteem.
I was really young, and my parents read my diary (!!) and found that I was writing all sorts of odd theories about what sex was that I had heard from peers. (for example, the boy kicks the girl between the legs, the boy kisses the girl's poop, etc.) I was probably 9 years old. So my parents decided to buy me this book: https://www.amazon.com/Asking-About-Growing-Question-Answer/dp/0061429864
My mom read it to me cover to cover and I'm glad she did because after that I knew the truth about sex, puberty, etc. and could no longer be fooled by my confused peers.
> I have never been able to afford health insurance...even more so with the "affordable healthcare" we now have in the marketplace..
Are you in one of those states whose governor refused federal monies to expand medicare? If so, blame your state, not the ACA. Or just note that single payer "medicare for everyone" is better and cheaper for everyone. ;)
If you're unable to afford it, a marketplace plan quite literally has a sliding scale from 100% premium coverage to 0%. Open enrollment is over for the year, so unless you have a qualifying event, you'll have to settle for a private plan if you want anything. But for future reference, go here and play with the numbers.
If you make between $12k-ish to $30k-ish a year, you get subsidized premiumes. If you make between $30k and $48k, you get a sliding scale discount. Above that, you're supposed to be able to afford it yourself. The numbers are off the top of my head and probably changed for 2016.
edit: Geez, okay, okay, Medi_caid_ not Medi_care_. (I always get the two mixed up)
It sounds to me as though she needs to have what will ultimately be a terrifically uncomfortable (for her, and probably for him) conversation with her son where they have a talk about porn and what is/what is not realistic or reasonable about it, and in addition, the whole Rule 34 concept - so that he understands that if he looks hard enough, he will find very sick or disturbing things that would probably upset him. Then, I'd suggest she get him some reading material about the whole sex & body development process, so that he can get good information rather than thinking "No one ever uses condoms! Yay!". It's also a primo time to discuss appropriate behavior online, the fact that porn sites can scam, introduce viruses, etc, and how to conduct himself safely (i.e. don't post photos of yourself or talk to people salaciously because you are A CHILD).
To me, this is a pivotal point at which either she is going to crack down and alienate their ability to communicate openly when it NEEDS to happen in the future, or she can accept her own feelings about it, but work toward making sure he approaches this stuff with reason. In all likelihood, his buddies are looking at porn too. I'm not sure at 'what age' porn becomes okay for consumption, but considering my kid practically vomits if he sees a woman in her bra, I'd say if he's expressing interest, then he's ready to get some sex education.
I haven't personally tried bad dragon lube, but I've heard nothing but bad reviews on it, mostly that's its "sticky" and not "lubey" lol.
If you have a farm store of some type nearby, I recommend poly lube...its a veterinary grade lubricant that comes as a powder that you mix with water. For $20 you can have 5 gallons worth of lube! (Or, y'know a years worth of lube bc don't mix it all at once). it's water-based so safe to use with silicone toys. It's all I use now.
Edit: this stuff.
Available on Amazon here. But honestly it was much cheaper instore so might be worth shopping around before buying online. I got it from UFA (Alberta Canada, lol), but any farm or veterinary store should carry it. It's also called j-lube.
I have the same problem. Got tired of changing sheets so I got Hospital bed pads from Amazon; I have 2 ones I keep on standby.
They wash well over and over (mine are a few years old and are still like new and they get washed a few times a week).
Nobles Premium Quality Bed Pad, Quilted, Waterproof, Reusable and Washable, (34 x 52) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MWJEQZ2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_.G5XCbV805BJA
You're not alone, here's a book about the same topic:
"The End of Sex: How Hookup Culture Is Leaving a Generation Unhappy, Sexually Unfulfilled, and Confused About Intimacy" (Quite the title really.)
Ask him to:
1)Drink a lot more water (for his health! not just for cum taste.) ;)
2)Eat a banana and/or some pineapple on a regular basis.
3)Or the very easy path, have him take one of these every day: https://www.amazon.com/Source-Naturals-Bromelain-Proteolytic-Supplement/dp/B006C1MK8Q/
You'll be very pleasantly surprised in a week or two.
>He's going soft, in a new relationship? He's anxious. He should relax more. Alcohol can help, as can time together outside of the bed.
I'm going to say that alcohol can also not help. While it does relax you, it can also cause something colloquially known as "whiskey dick". Relaxing naturally would be better. If you're in a new relationship, I'd say try giving him a back massage even if you're inexperienced at doing such. Just rubbing his back can be sensual, arousing, and relaxing all at once.
I say this as a guy who hasn't had trouble staying up, but who would usually prefer a massage as a way to relax with a partner over alcohol. It also makes for a great precursor to sex/foreplay.
>Communicate with your partner.
I cannot emphasize this enough. Good communication is the number 1 key (in my book) to having a good relationship and/or sex life.
The "liberator" blanket IS AMAZING. It can be thrown on a couch or bed. It soaks up EVERYTHING. I am convinced you could pour a gallon of water on it without issue - nothing gets through.
It's pricey but worth it. It feels like a regular blanket, not like a weird, crinkly waterproof blanket
You don't want the easy advice. So the blunt truth is you need to practice. Her sex feels too good for you, you either need to help lessen its effect in your head, " Think about sad or boring stuff" or you need to train your member in the sensations.
Kegal control is your target discipline. Bang the fleshlight regularly and do it while holding the same muscle you hold when you have to urinate but cant.
Outside of that, cheat get a scrotum ring, i dont recall what the devices are called but they are bands around the testicles to help prevent ejaculation.
My GF and I have been doing this for about 3 years. We liked it so much we bought a wedge pillow from Amazon so we wouldn't be messing with our good sleeping pillows.
We also love using the pillow when she is laying stomach down on the pillow with her vagina just back from the edge and she uses a small vibe on her clit. She cums every time we do this. I think its the ease of access for everything and she doesn't have to support herself while I can go as hard as I want. Definitely recommend!
I'd add, if you haven't prepared her for a anal and are going to ask in the heat of the moment, be prepared for the fact that things could get dirty. I simply cannot do clean anal without an enema. I know some can, but not all of us can!
And another tip from an anal sex receiver, I usually have then go in all the way, slowly, of course! Then I have them pull out and apply a bunch more lube to themselves. This makes all the difference for a smooth glide!
Oh, and I prefer a thick water-based lube for anal. Wicked Jelle for Anal is my favorite!
I've been with my wife for 17 years total, married for nearly 11 of that now. In that time, we have gone through the ups and downs of sexual frequency - from nearly every day, to literal months in between. Lately, the sex has been once or twice a week, but it's been... lacking. We've talked for a while about branching out and trying some new things together to spice things up, but it seemed like it wasnt happening.
That is, OP, until less than a week ago, I just decided I was going to go for it and try something new on my own and bought this kit on Amazon for all of $16. I "installed" it when she wasn't home the other night, and when later that evening were getting ready for some routine sex, I told her to lay squarely in the middle of the bed - and don't argue. I busted out the restraints that were hidden away, and had her secured in place in no time. I slipped the (included) blindfold on her... and made her wait. Then I teased her a little here and there. You see, she doesn't like it when shes not in control - or so she thought.
Add in a few simple extras to play and tease with (an ice cube or two, a vibrator, etc) and suddenly something she never even knew she wanted to try had her wetter than I've ever seen her. Writhing and wriggling, starting to moan (she is an otherwise quiet person during sex) trying for some form of control... hating that she had none - which she loved.
I took a chance on a $16 kit, OP. If it was a bust, I wasn't out much of anything. However, if it was a hit... I just opened up a whole new avenue of exploration to us, one she didn't even know she wanted until that night.
Welp, here ya go. I uploaded to google docs, some features like the text color were lost. But eh, its not the end of the world.
Here is a youtube video by Dan Ariely on the subject: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=mFMDgW0wDeI#!
I also recommend his book Predictably Irrational to pretty much everybody.
Women get engorged when aroused just like men do. The clit swells, but some don't understand that the bulb of the clitoris is inside, and it's swelling too. That part of the clitoris, along with the urethral sponge, kind of wrap around things. When they engorge they squeeze the urethra and the vagina from the inside and it causes the same type of feeling she has when she really has to pee. If she tried to pee at that moment she probably could get a tiny bit out, but the feeling is not actually because her bladder is full. It's just that the swelling is triggering the same sensation, from the pressure.
She should pee just before you have sex, and if she has to hop up immediately after sex to pee again, you know she was engorged. Does it then take a bit of relaxation before she can actually let go and pee? Because that's a lot of engorgement and she has to relax to let it go. Sound familiar?
Our bodies aren't that different. I have seen guys bitch about their girlfriends hopping up immediately to pee and I'm like...if she suddenly stops needing to do that, you should start to worry, because if she used to and now doesn't it may be she isn't aroused like she used to be.
I suspect there's a correlation between women for whom penetration is enjoyable and causes or helps facilitate orgasm, and women who gotta hop right on up. It's about the internal layout and what swells and stimulates which region. But, that is anecdotal evidence from me and my friends.
See the crus of clitoris and bulb of vestibule? See how they relate to the vagina and urethra? That is what is engorging with blood, just like your cock does.
Its super hot, dated a girl who squirted for a while. Plenty of guys will agree, and those who dont? Well, dont waste time on them.
Also, Amazon sells great waterproof pads you can lay down to protect sheets/mattress/carpet/etc. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007ZI98NK/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_oaROzb14XMMPP Cant recommend them enough.
You and your future lovers are quite lucky
you need a bidet something fierce. do you have $23? because this is a game-changing day for you, that all future romantic partners of yours will one day thank me for.
If this is something you want to engage in regularly, I highly recommend reading something like Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns. Did you two use a safeword? You say you enjoyed the encounter as a whole, but that's a lot of damage to suffer in one encounter, especially if you're relatively new to BDSM. Was there any point where you were uncomfortable in the moment but kept going? Many experienced BDSM-folk use a red (stop) - yellow (pause, let me make sure I'm doing okay) - green (go go go) system to check-in during intense activities. If your partner didn't do this, I could see that leading to post-encounter feelings of not being heard or cared for. Did you engage in good after care? What you're describing sounds like it could be a bit of "sub drop": for many folks, when they bottom in a BDSM setting, they need extra special comfort and care afterward to avoid what's commonly called "sub drop."
As to the mentality of enjoying BDSM, I can't answer that. It's something I've been interested in before I even had sex, but I can't articulate why (nor am I deeply into the BDSM lifestyle - I would probably not be okay with all of the activities you experienced, or at least not all in one session).
Exactly. Try different things to do with her like taking her for a meal or play different <strong>games</strong>. Doing your bit of housework doesn't count as romantic...
Since OP was looking for a station, not just one or two songs, I have taken all the song suggestions given so far (that had at least one upvote, and were available in the Pandora catalog) and made a Pandora station out of them.
Presenting Sexxit Radio: "Mood Music" 12/3/2012. Description: Quiet, slow, sultry, and cool to the touch.
So we'll see how that goes. I'll add more as upvotes happen for other music. Assuming I remember this thread. Which I might not.
EDIT: That was fast. Added Massive Attack.
One of my (and his) favorites right now is a long-ish sweater and socks that go up to my mid-thigh.
I like a tight cami with no bra and cute panties (lacy boy shorts are a favorite).
Yoga pants with a strappy bralette under a loose tank top.
Off the shoulder sweater with or without leggings.
I love lacey, delicate, simple lingerie. I tend to gravitate toward baby dolls (and I actually just bought that), slips, body suits, and pretty bra + panty sets. I have a few more 'explicit' pieces but nothing too extreme, one is a bodysuit/teddy thing my boyfriend really liked (it was decent quality for the price too imo).
Sorry for such a long post, I love talking about this stuff. :)
He is asking for it. Give it to him.
Pro tip: a nurse I was dating that squirted used these. You can pour cups and cups of water on them without a leak. Plus washable!
Seriously....bulb enemas are your friend. Not that you HAVE to do anal, it's not for everyone, but my wife and I both love it and this $10 piece of plastic and silicon keeps us clean.
It's based on a book by Dr. Gary Chapman
5 love languages
Basically everyone has different ways they express love and feel loved.
-Acts of service
-Words of affirmation
Knowing yours and your partners can be very powerful. It allows you to better meet his needs and for you to better express your needs.
It's great for all relationships!
It's your lube. KY has Glycerin which will burn your rectum. Get a lube that does not have glycerin.
This stuff would be a good choice: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000C5KATO/ref=oh_aui_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&th=1
"She Comes First"
Read it yourself before introducing it to him to be sure you agree with its message, but many people consider it a great resource for this sort of thing. And definitely have deep conversations about what it presents so you guys understand each other. Good luck.
I got one of these half fleshlight things that acted as an aid at first, but eventually I realized I could just mimic the toy with my hand and basically just create a tunnel from my mouth and hand and move those in unison. Kind like turning myself into a fleshlight lol. It’s so simple, idk why it took years to figure it out.
I have big "bug" eyes and I used to get made fun of sooooo badly in middle and highschool so I always hated them. Im sure now...you get many many compliments.
I love my eyes now even though sometimes I look at them and ask "why," but thats because of the severe bullying that came with it. Just listen to what others are saying. My husband says half the reason he married me was because of my eyes.
Also....get your thyroid checked out...all the women in my family have big eyes as a sign of hypothyroidism. Could be contributing to your heart problem that you mentioned in another post. It's so funny I just read a post on the heart condition that you have and thyroidism today. https://www.webmd.com/heart/news/19991130/heart-valve-defect-common-patients-thyroid-disease#1
This is gonna make no sense but trust me. Before you want to go deep, squeeze your left thumb with your left hand, like you’re making a fist with the thumb inside.
It works for us!
I like this answer better than the other you gave; it just seemed so simplistic that it was wrong.
Another explanation about the phenomenon can be read here, and this seemed to be a recurring answer to the question