I'm currently working through Trauma Stewardship and it is helping me. Unfortunately this is more common than we'd like to think. My thoughts are with you and your kid.
I remember reading many stories in the book about EMT work as well. Very approachable writing.
Thanks for your work.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/electroconvulsive-therapy/basics/definition/prc-20014161
To summarize, you get anesthetized and then the doctors run some electricity through your brain, inducing a mild seizure, and you wake not depressed or less depressed for a while. Usually only done once you've tried all the drugs and nothing has helped.
This strip is one of quite a few featuring Boggle the Owl. The original source appears to be a Tumblr account that still answers questions.
I know this is going to sound hard but try not to get wound up about it. Don't take it personally.
I didn't understand what was going on when my brother first started having psychotic breaks and I would get sad/worried/anxious/depressed, too.
I started reading Stoic philosophy, The Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, www.reddit.com/r/stoicism
I started researching his diagnoses and figured out some stuff we could do. Going to NAMI (National Alliance of Mental Illness) meetings helped a lot.
Just make sure the kid has a safe space to turn to, if you can.
Yes. There is often a genetic component to mental illness. Read Three Generations, No Imbeciles
>They will not accept the blame for any part of their injury to me and refuse to even entertain the idea of going to see a therapist because they think therapy in any form is a scam.
Without even an "I'm sorry" or desire to fix what is wrong, I would say that the chances of a happy reconciliation are low.
If Mr. X goes into convulsions upon seeing the color yellow, do we need to ban the color yellow to make sure he never sees it, or should Mr. X get treatment? The problem is not the trigger, but the reaction to the trigger. If your family has no desire to fix the problems that drove you away, how much do they truly want to reconcile?
Suggested reading:
Emotional Blackmail by Susan Forward
Toxic Parents by Susan Forward
Healing the Shame that Binds You by Tom Bradshaw
I also recommend CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). It has been proven effective against depression and anxiety. If you cannot afford it, I recommend getting a book to teach yourself, such as Feeling Good by David Burns or Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman.
I'm going to second finding a crisis line. If you have access to a phone, there are several numbers that you can call/text/chat with in an emergency like the one you found yourself in. I'm so sorry you are alone right now, but just reaching out to Reddit means you are already have some people who want you to get better. I found this list of resources online, it might be worth seeing if anything could work for you.
https://lifehacker.com/top-10-free-and-affordable-mental-health-and-counseling-1788814933
that sounds really tough, i'm so sorry to hear that <3 taking a break from social media sounds like a great idea, as well as keeping a diary! honestly i need this reminder a lot, so i'll pass it onto you: you deserve love and support! if you need to lean on your bf for support you're not fishing for sympathy. if that's too tough right now, i'd suggest online resources like this one, or maybe even seeking professional help. you got this! i'm rooting for you :)
I was listening to a podcast yesterday and they had an interview with a guy with a history of psychosis who won Mental Health Nurse of the Year 2017. Times have definitely changed for the better in terms of stigma! And his experience is what helped him to help others.
Here's a link to the interview: Compassion therapy for voice-hearing by All In The Mind - ABC RN https://player.fm/1qcMuH?t=1711
On a personal level - I often find myself wishing psychologists I've spoken to had lived experience of mental health struggles (sort of... I don't wish distress on anyone but you get what I mean!)
1: for a quick fix, take at least 10 long exhales whenever you feel anxiety building, try it now. It will send signals up your parasympathetic nervous system to trick your brain out of fight or flight mode. It can feel uncomfortable for the first few breaths because when we get stressed, the brain makes us chest-breathe, but you should feel calming sensations after around 1 minute of practice. Let the inhale do what it wants, then gently extend the length of your exhale.
2: Set an alarm on your phone to go off 30 minutes before bed time, use this time to do something calming like read a book so you fall asleep quicker. Practice the above breathing technique in bed if you're having trouble sleeping.
3: Consider taking up meditation. headspace.com/ has a free 10 day trial, 10-minutes per day. /r/meditation is a good place for resources.
4: Reach out to a professional in real-life; University staff, your Doctor. Showing vulnerability is not the same as showing weakness, it takes guts to share your problems and want to improve yourself, just like when you made this post.
5: Be kind to yourself.
I'm sorry to read you're going through this tough time and I hope things improve for you.
I'm a Pilates instructor and see lots of young'uns that have bad posture, tight rib-cages, rounded shoulders, they chest-breathe 24/7 which naturally induces constant anxiety. Consider joining up to a Pilates/Clinical Yoga course if your posture could do with improving. A new challenge might take your mind off things and it will certainly help with stress.
Wow, that must feel terrifying and exhausting to have such disturbing nightmares every night. The first thing that struck me about the situation you described is that, not only are your nights unrestful, your days are also anxious.
Being under the influence of anxiety means we're always preparing for something bad to happen, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy when it finally does happen. Anxiety is a normal emotional response that is adaptive in the context of real threats to our wellbeing, but sustained anxiety can trigger a self-perpetuating cycle that disrupts our capacity to engage in restful sleep and healthy relaxation.
A good therapist can help you change the negative expectations that drive anxious thinking. It may not be necessary or even helpful to explore the reasons you have lived with nightmares for so long, but the good news is that you can retrain your brain to experience more pleasant dreams. Fortunately there's a lot of information available online (e.g., https://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Having-Nightmares).
It may help to find a therapist to help you get control over your anxiety. The sooner you begin to take action to gain control of your anxiety, the better this will turn out for you. Be gentle and patient with yourself during this process, and good luck getting better!
I think so many people feel the same way! I recently discovered a website called meetup.com and you can join groups for all kinds of socials, interests etc and even make your own. Great for making new friends :).
I think I should mention that, although grief is not the same as depression it can lead to depression. The important thing is duration. If the symptoms persist too long, the condition should be regarded as depression and treated as such. I have advice from experts in my recent comments.
There’s a great book, Authoritative Guide to Self-Help Resources for Mental Help, based on polls of more than 3,000 professionals. The book recommended most often for grief is How to Go On Living when Someone You Love Dies.
Another book that might interest you -
This is a form of social anxiety. You worry about how others perceive you because you feel uncertain about how well you’re performing in certain situations. Regardless of whether it’s coming from them or you, or whether it’s accurate or not, it’s important to ask yourself whether your response to those situations is helpful or harmful to you. If you avoid social situations or conversations, or if you spend lots of mental energy worrying about how you performed, replaying events in your head, beating yourself up over things you said... none of those behaviors are helpful in moving you toward what you value — connection with your family and friends.
If you aren’t already in therapy, I recommend seeking mental health services to address these symptoms of social anxiety. Alternatively, you might also try getting a workbook:
https://www.amazon.com/Managing-Social-Anxiety-Cognitive-Behavioral-Treatments/dp/0195336690
Hope this helps.
Honestly, I've thought about the bed pop-tent (the 2nd option) before. It's actually bigger than the expensive version. I think the pricier version is mostly a rip-off, anyway. It's pretty small, would get old fast, doesn't allow for sitting up, and would take up a ton of space. A lot of the high-end features (mood lighting, soft cushions, soundscape) are super easy to simulate.
Here are some possible ways to simulate the same environment in a bed or closet. All of these options helped get me through a rough bout with post-partum depression:
I highly recommend mynoise.net for the world's most comforting and huge variety of white noise, nature sounds, tonal drones, and binaural sounds. Free! I use it so often that I ended up donating, which I never do.
Amazon has lots of cheap options for mood lights that project colors and ocean waves, with speaker hookups to play sounds through your laptop or phone. This one looks promising, but there are a lot of options.
A cool mist essential oil diffuser can add aromatherapy. I have something similar to this next to my bed.
Finally, you could invest in the comfiest possible bedding. A feather bolster, down comforter, excellent pillows, etc.
With the combination of the above, you could probably have a much nicer, more personalized "sanctuary" for much less than the pod costs. You could also think about hanging pretty bedcurtains, draping twinkle lights or silk flowers, or other touches that appeal to you. Also try /r/cozyplaces for some cool inspiration. Good luck!
Nearly 2 K reviews at Trustpilot, with a wide range of opinions. Whereas 52% reviewed it as Excellent, 30% said "Poor" or "Bad."
This sounds to me a form of parasomnia / night terrors - particularly your description of seeing your son in the middle of sleeping, and you can't move. For many years I experienced a similar thing - where I would seemingly woke up in the middle of the night, often sit bolt upright but have the sensation of being paralysed, and then seeing and hearing things in the room that weren't actually there. I ended up doing a sleep study, and was diagnosed with night terrors. My (basic) understanding of them is that it is a partial waking up from sleep, however you are still dreaming - and therefore reality and the dream world appear to mix. It turned out that mine was due to PTSD, and after being prescribed benzos to encourage sleeping through and talk therapy, it has mainly resolved itself.
Here's a little info from webmd of what I am talking about: https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/guide/parasomnias#1-3
It'd be easy to call this schizophrenia, but there is a layer of trauma to it, so it might be more complex than we know.
I knew one woman in group therapy once that had temporary psychosis (thinking her husband was trying to kill her or poison her) until she went to a psych hospital and got help. Maybe that's all she needs too.
She should definitely see a licensed therapist to start with. A therapist will probably recommend her to a psychiatrist as well. If she's open to it, that's where she would need to start.
Get treatment.
Go online and research what you’ve got. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is rare and hard to treat because most folks who have it refuse to believe they do, or they simply can’t believe they do. The rest of your diagnoses could stem from your NPD.
The good news is you’re way more likely to be finically successful and have the nicer things in life as a result of your NPD, but you’ve got a battle ahead. Check that site linked above and research the others. There are treatment plans listed for each.
Also, check the paperwork from your visit. There may be a follow up appointment listed there or recommendations for next steps. But regardless you should definitely look into getting a weekly therapist to start.
Good luck OP! I’m sure if you stick to treatment you can find some peace.
Dr. Jim Hunt, a psychologist, states: "There could easily be three to four hundred thousand therapists in the United States. Some are licensed, some are not; some have Ph.Ds, some do not; some have Master’s degrees, some do not; some are RNs most are not; some are psychiatrists, some are psychologists, some have an Ed.D., and some are MFCC’s, (or MFT’s, as they are so designated in some states)." See M.D., Ph.D., M.A., MFCC or MFT, etc… Who are these people?. Also see Psychologist or Psychiatrist: Which Is Right for You?
Because you have several disorders (called "clinical disorders") that are treated with medication , I suggest you start with a psychiatrist. Because a psychiatrist has both a psychology degree and a medical degree, he is able to prescribe medication and usually is best at diagnosing clinical disorders. In contrast*, a psycholo*gist (with rare exception) cannot prescribe medication and thus tends to be better at diagnosing and treating personality disorders (e.g., the psychopathy you mention).
As Schizotiger states, you almost certainly will end up seeing both. Regardless of which one you start with, you likely will end up seeing a psychologist often for therapy and seeing a psychiatrist every several months for medication targeted to treating your clinical disorders. If you start with the psychiatrist, he likely will diagnose your issues and prescribe medications -- and then refer you to a psychologist for therapy treatments. Similarly, if you start with the psychologist, he likely will refer you to a psychiatrist for medication.
It was very much the same for me, I used to wake up my mum in the middle of the night crying my eyes out because I wanted so badly to be a 'good person' in a world that felt so, so overwhelmingly bad.
Ive had cognitive therapy too, it gives you some good strategies but for me I need more stability. Once the sessions end I slowly decline. It sounds like you may feel the same.
I totally understand the money concern, even though in my country there are some free resources, it breaks my heart knowing it just isn't the same in America. I have some friends there, and know everything tends to come with a high price tag so I get the worry.
I haven't used this in a few years, but it is free and it may help take the edge off until you can get the money together for a professional.
Just make sure that you bear in mind that even professionals don't always have the right skill set for your particular concerns, and may not be helpful. There no shame in talking to a few different people until you find someone who gets you and what you need.
Sometimes therapy feels uncomfortable because you're getting somewhere, and it's worth sticking out but it sometimes feels uncomfortable because that professional isn't right for you. Learning the difference has been life changing. So just keep a check on your feelings when you're chatting, make sure it all feels how you think it should.
I hope your medication is helping a little, I was never able to feel better on it but a lot of people can do. I'm also sorry your parents don't want to help, that's a real shame.
If there is anything I can do to help, let me know. Feeling alone is often the worst part of being so aware of everything and the pain of it.
Have you ever been asked by a MH worker about being on the Autism Spectrum Disorder? The obsessing over 1 subject is a common trait.
There are many symptoms of varying degrees on the spectrum that can be found here.. https://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/mental-health-aspergers-syndrome
Either way, I hope you are able to get answers. I understand the frustration of trying to get proper dx. Much Love :)
I would recommend meditation and mindfulness. This article explains it much better than I ever could. Headspace offer plenty of guided meditations that will help with dealing with specific issues (acceptance, managing anxiety and navigating change are some of 30 day courses they offer) and it doesn’t cost too much per month (they have a free trial too). There’s this they wrote that might help too. All the best:)
Man, life can be rough. I highly recommend trying some therapy. It doesn't need to be a school counselor. There is absolutely no shame in it. Sometimes we all need a little help getting through a rough patch. Tell your mom that you would like to talk with a therapist about dealing with stress. Again, there is no shame. In fact, its a very mature thing to do. It may take going to a couple different ones to find someone you really get along with, but thats ok. It's totally worth it.
If you want, you can start with some of the links here
Or simply google "teenage counseling" or "therapy", in your area.
High school can be a bitch man, but anyone that is making you feel bad has their own issues and insecurities. Don't think they don't. You'll come out of this being the better/stronger person.
yup! i don't really get migraines that often, but i've had some in the past and just in general i tend to dissociate, which sort of feels like what you're describing, at least to me. i don't quite know what's happening and everything is just existing around me and i don't really know what is and what isn't. emotions feel just out of reach and i just feel like i'm looking at the world through a camera lens, like i'm just not really there.
this is just to say that i can relate to what you're feeling though- you should still probably talk to your PCP (besides, migraines are brutal, and 8 hours with aftereffects is intense.) if you think it's starting to affect your mental health, seeking out professional help is also really important too. of course, covid exists and if it's not feasible that's okay too. here's a free resource i personally like, although there are plenty more out there. take care, though, and be safe!
1) obligatory virtual hug *hugs*
2) yeah, quarantine is really lonely. can you try calling a friend?
3) if you need to vent, there's a whole reddit community of listeners, as well as a huge amount of resources online. here's one, for example :)
4) cut yourself some slack. you'll be okay and you're strong enough to last through quarantine. today is a bad day, but there will be better days. take care <3
You can try GGDE - Designed by A/Prof. Guy Doron, clinical psychologist and researcher at IDC, GGDE is an app specialised for beating depression. It does so by tackling negative self-talk and teaching users to embrace adaptive self-talk. The app challenges beliefs that are associated with depressive symptoms, thereby undermining the core elements of depression. see link here. https://www.producthunt.com/posts/ggde
Somatic Symptom Disorder does speak to a lot of what you’re expressing. If you are not happy with your current mental health profession, set the intention of getting a different referral. Mental illness is not a joke. Good luck!
I don't think you're close to having a panic attack, I think you are having one
What do you normally do when you have a panic attack? If I were you, I would try some breathing exercises. In your nose, out your mouth.
You can try this link to help you
https://www.calm.com/breathe it's basically a breathing exercise you can do
There's also this https://www.pixelthoughts.co/ it's little more interactive
See if one of those help you calm down a bit and gather yourself
It does sound a bit ridiculous yea but that's probably a really good way just to break the negative circle. Not sure if i'll have the willpower to start dealing with things right after that breathing break but i'll give it a shot for sure. Thanks!
Have put this on my bookmarks. Found it to be pretty helpful to assist you in taking some deep breaths when anxiety sneaks in.
not OP but I personally use freedom.to, it just locks apps and websites across multiple platforms but it only goes up to one day iirc, you'd have to re-set another timer, but it works (it's paid though)
Community mental health centers offer a sliding scale based on your income, all you have to do is ask. I use Dialectical Behavior Therapy, there is a big book by Dr. Marsha M. Linehan that includes handouts and worksheets, you might consider the book. If you are in the US, use the suicide hotline 1-800-273-8255 when you're feeling low and consider reaching out to a chaplain, or pastor at your church, if you attend, or have in the past. You are not alone, I care about you and hope you'll reach out for your resources.
I use calmharm for selfharm.
I use it a little different then its meant to I just do 1 exercise of eitherv15 orv5 min before I cut wich makes it so that with small urges i wont think it's worth it going trough the time to complete one of the assignments so I wont cutt. And with bigger urges it makes it so I have less time to cut before I got to go or something like that.
Its meant to be used in a way that you keep going until you dont want to cutt anymore that's why when it asks have your urges passed there is not a button wich says quitt or a cross to stop the exercise -you can back out with the buttons on the bottom of your phone those still show up- just yes or no.
It's not the best not even close but it's the one I use.
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=uk.org.stem4.calmharm
There’s this myth that ocd is flipping light switches on and off, and washing your hands a certain number of times. Frequently what affects us though are obsessive thoughts, and having obsessive graphic depictions of self harm or harm to others is a pretty common calling card of ocd (obviously not armchair diagnosing you, but this is how it affected me).
It’s important to remember that while this is something that affects you, it’s not a reflection of who you are. I frequently have impulsive thoughts that go against my morals and desires, but those thoughts aren’t me, otherwise they wouldn’t be so disturbing.
I’d recommend checking out The Imp of the Mind which helps differentiate between those thoughts and who you truly are. Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts is another great book if you don’t have access to a therapist, it’s actually designed to help if you are coping alone.
Also don’t forget there are all sorts of therapy options online, some of them free, almost all of them reduced cost. Obviously having your own therapist is ideal, but that doesn’t mean you have to manage alone until you can find one.
*edit: spelling
It all depends on the person’s biochemistry, but stimulants are the most effective treatment by far for most people. You’ll probably also want to do some counseling (with someone who has experience with adhd folks), probably CBT, to unlearn bad habits. I’m just some guy on Reddit though so talk with your doc about the best course of action. But yes, for most folks medication is life changing...your whole world can change overnight once your brain chemistry is normalized.
In the meantime you can try watching videos by Dr Russell Barkley, he’s one of the premier adhd specialists. Since you have adhd kids I’d also recent his book:
12 Principles for Raising a Child with ADHD https://www.amazon.com/dp/1462542557/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_nD6aGbCQ5DY9D
Oh, just read you can’t get therapy. You can still learn to set boundaries from reading books. I’m not sure what book I read on that. This book is nice on how to communicate better. Not to say you don’t, but it’s how to communicate so others understand. https://www.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships/dp/189200528X/ref=sr_1_3?crid=IADT467241B8&dchild=1&keywords=nonviolent+communication&qid=1610158006&s=books&sprefix=Nonvio%2Cstripbooks%2C221...
I don’t have enough experience in this area. A friend recently had a psychotic episode and I was really nervous trying to have them get help while maintaining their trust with me. It’s so hard when they live in a different world than you and trying to help them see they could get help. Fortunately my friend doesn’t live in psychosis so they seem to have a memory that getting help is a possibility to consider. My heart goes out to you. Seems they have to get in legal trouble to get help.
This book was recommended in my depression support group. I don’t know if you’ve read it, but this is it https://www.amazon.com/Sick-Dont-Someone-Accept-Treatment/dp/0985206705/ref=pd_ybh_a_5?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=7DJRWEG8XRRTQ31N8DSE
And take good care of yourself too. It’s easier to help when you have your needs supported.
Gonna link an amazing pair of in-ear monitors that are noise cancelling and affordable. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this.
If you’re serious about treatment and want to set yourself up for making as much progress as quickly as possible, I highly recommend checking out this treatment workbook to get the ball rolling:
https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Depression-Cognitive-Approach-Treatments/dp/019537102X
The first few weeks will be focused on psychoeducation about depression, the rationale for treatment, and mood tracking. Once your psychologist completes your assessment, you can tell them what kind of work you’ve been doing and they can collaborate with you to go from there.
The book is ~$35, but it’s not just something you read. It will give you actionable tasks you can do on a daily basis to improve your symptoms over time. Consider it an investment in yourself. And your psychologist will know that you’re serious about treatment too if walk in having already completed the first couple of chapters.
Let me know if you have any questions about it, happy to assist.
First of all you should be incredibly proud for stopping the self-harm. That takes a lot of strength, also shown by the fact you’ve managed to admit there’s a problem. It’s much easier to stay in denial.
You’re right in wanting to see a professional and I don’t think your mum’s right. I don’t know how old your mum is, and this is no excuse whatsoever, but if she’s of my generation (I’m 49), she’s probably been brought up with the “just get on with it mentality” which isn’t helpful. Mental health needs much better awareness and understanding across all generations.
If you’re interested in a couple of self-help books, I can recommend https://www.amazon.co.uk/Self-Compassion-Kristin-Neff/dp/1444738178 and https://www.amazon.co.uk/Happiness-Trap-Based-revolutionary-mindfulness-based/dp/184529825X - but most of all, I hope you’ll get the help and support you need.
Keep staying strong and take care.
I’m so sorry to hear it, that sounds like a very tough thing to deal with. I’ve forgotten a mask before and didn’t realize till halfway through the store - I felt awful! I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you to go out. Have you possibly tried thinner masks? Not sure if it’s your style but there are scarves fashioned into masks that are pretty thin and ridiculously breathable. SolForis Fashion Face Scarf Mask Printed Scarf Cool Lightweight Summer Protection Scarf Bandana UV Protective for Outdoor https://www.amazon.com/dp/B087RRM756/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fabc_.YETFbK8S1DN1
Hi there,
It's pretty common for kids to block out bad childhood memories. Think of it as a survival mechanism. Although you don't remember the events, you still suffer the effects. You may want to read about C-PTSD and see if it feels relevant. If so, this book by Pete Walker is outstanding (and not to sound like a salesperson, but it's free atm if you have Amazon Prime).
Good luck,
-Dee
Hi OP, DBT is super relaxing! The whole idea is to settle your mind and stabilize you. What can put you in a good state of mind is trying to orient yourself to peace. In other words, focus on maintaining peace and calm emotions. Do anything to preserve that since the whole point is that you're struggling with emotional control.
​
In saying this, I don't want you to stress if you feel like you're struggling to find peace. That will only increase anxiety. Instead, just "let go". Blank your mind and relax your muscles.
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Did you have to buy a book for your class? If not, this is a good exercise book that you can browse. Very light, simple exercises, and intuitive. It can be fun for you to explore. Here is the link to Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1572307811/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
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Good luck! Have fun in class.
I think apps like Mindshift and Calm do a very good job at helping people who are in crisis.
There is a fine line between going to the doctor and having applications suffice. If a person is suicidal, or at the risk of hurting themselves, it is almost crucial that they go to a doctor. Yes, apps may help, but having third party intervention (especially suicide watches) are a better option.
For immediate crisis, I would definitely recommend some sort of crisis information dashboard - shortcuts to call suicide prevention hotlines, mental health clinics/hospitals, directions, non-emergency police/ambulatory numbers, etc. Then in the meantime, before help actually arrives, checklists or exercises may help.
Hello, when I was younger I remember reading Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics. Apparently, the ancient Greeks had a term which translated to “human flourishing,” called Eudaimonia, which is what I would equate with what you are describing. I often think about this concept and about what human “happiness” is. It’s worth a google, happy reading!
Hey, yes I survived this. It takes a lot of will power and effort. I started by reading one page per day of The Power Of Now and going out for daily walks in nature. I also wrote only positive notes in my diary about great things I did each day. But I'd recommend staying away from anti-depressants as I should have, they made me worse and I wouldn't suggest taking them. And when you start things the way I did, dude, it's so rewarding...
You're a deeply existential thinker. I don't think that anything is wrong with you. The only 'problem' is when this type of thinking causes bouts of depression.
You're right. Life is seemingly meaningless and knowing what the purpose of it all would make life easier, but given that we don't know the meaning/purpose, shouldn't we just do the best we can to make our life meaningful/purposeful? I don't need to know what the entire picture looks like when putting together pieces of a puzzle.
I've thought a lot like you over the years but have just resolved to be the best person I can be, do the best I can do, and try to leave each situation a little better than how I found it.
Victor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning and Andy Weir's The Egg have informed my approach. Perhaps they will be of some comfort to you as well.
"Do not disparage progress, no matter how slow." - One thing that gets a lot of us depressed people is that if a thing isn't the perfect ideal we imagine, it is worthless. Likewise, it can seem that a goal is impossible if it doesn't happen RIGHT NOW! These are unhelpful thoughts to have, as change does not happen overnight, and good things are usually not also perfect. Take time to notice your strengths and the overall trend over time, especially as you learn to notice and dispute the unhelpful thoughts. (Your therapist will probably help you learn these skills.) Often times it feels like two steps forward, two steps back, and no progress is being made. However, this is not a failure. People do this all the time. Sometimes it is called exercise. It makes you stronger.
I have punched walls and broken things. Once, I even broke a bone in my hand. Having depression affect you enough that you drop exercise, books, and classes is definitely worthy of treatment. You won't be wasting their time.
In my experience, therapy is more effective if you are honest with your therapist and bring up anything that is stressing you out or causing pessimistic feelings. Extracurricular work can also help. My therapist was pretty excited that I had already read a couple of books on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (Feeling Good by David Burns and Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman) - CBT is one of the most effective therapies against depression. The more effort you put into getting better, the better you will get. I had a hard time putting in effort at first, but I got better at it.
Some other things that have helped me are mindfulness meditation and joining a support group. NAMI has free support groups across the United States. The book that made mindfulness click with me is Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn.
Hope your first meeting with your therapist went well, and I hope this helps you with your journey of getting better.
I am not a mental health professional, just a mental health customer forced to look for alternatives in the past. The 2 things I normally recommend are MoodGYM and ThoughtDiary.
MoodGYM is a free, online therapy tool. You do it at your own pace and have some choice as to what activities you end up pursuing.
ThoughtDiary is a free app. It is used to challenge any negative thoughts directly, when they happen, in the real world.
I only uploaded it yesterday so I'm wondering if maybe it takes a while to index? Here is the link for google play though this should work fine :)
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.jacksontempra.apps.whatsup
In case you don’t know about these, there are hyperacusis earbuds that dampen noise that don’t need any electricity battery etc. I have a friend who has autism who constantly uses them. Here’s a basic link to Amazon for some cheap options:
I’m glad I could help you out then! Wishing you the best in your mental health journey :)
I genuinely think the IOP style would have worked better with some effective time management and organization. It’s a shame CH didn’t offer much of that, but there has to be some other program that offers that.
Is your concern about the in-person program about the driving itself or just the fact that it’s face to face? I can definitely understand both. You could always ask the center you’re looking at if they offer virtual as well. Not sure how likely that is, but it’s best to ask.
Also! If you’re looking specifically for DBT skills this book was recommended to me by my psychiatrist and it’s pretty good so far! DBT Workbook Amazon
I had intrusive thoughts similar to how you're describing. Coincidentally, I read a book that 100 percent helped me deal with it. I've used it for years and every day, many times a day. Still do.
It's called You Are Not Your Brain. It's by a neuro-plasticity scientist and Psychiatrist. You Are Not Your Brain They give you mental steps you can take whenever you have an intrusive thought. They're highly effective and meant for people with intrusive thoughts like you and me. For me, it was a godsend, but it does take work to use.
If you don't have access to professional help, this might be a good choice, and depending on your luck with getting a well-suited therapist, perhaps better. Good luck.
I think what you describe is low self-esteem. Instead of having positive things to draw upon from your own brain you seek others to validate your experiences and self-worth. I have huge problems with my self-esteem and i have done a lot of reflecting. Telling myself to ignore what others are doing and "run my own race" does help sometimes. Notice the language difference to 'not comparing yourself to others' because it gives you back control. I love journalling so I got told by my therapist to start building evidence that you have "worth"- things that make you a "good person". It was really hard at first to the extent I bailed the first time I set down to do it. I live in the UK so completely relate with the accessibility issues you talk about, only got 6 sessions of CBT on the waiting list for group compassion workshop. A good book that I'm reading at the moment:
I use an app called bettersleep. I sometimes have trouble sleeping so this is the best I can recommend.Download Bettersleep on Google Play Store
Scottish person with ADHD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder and Asperger's here. I am actually not very sure if you were able to convince your mother to do therapy. I have a similar diagnosis as you but can't take Antidepressants because most either just become extremely immune to me and I feel depressed again. It might be a bitter pill to take because I don't actually know how horrible it really is but do you possibly have more online options? I talk to a little therapy penguin that I downloaded off the Google play store called Wysa when I am having issues and actually having a therapist through the app is totally optional but the app is free to download. It's like a journal but pretty much better than putting on paper. That's the best way I can recommend a safer way to have therapy if you don't have actual money without trying to go around your parents and possibly causing a bigger problem. Wysa Download
If you're on the autistic spectrum then you're autistic. Terms such as mild/moderate/severe autism or high/low functioning labels and even Asperger's syndrome aren't used anymore. Anyway, a counsellor isn't qualified to conduct an adult autism assessment and even though a psychiatrist can diagnose you most know little about the condition, particularly in women, so it's worth looking for someone that specialises in ASD. It does sound as if you have some significant autistic traits and I do recommend pursuing an assessment although it is completely your decision whether you do or not. I wasn't diagnosed until my thirties because I was assigned female at birth, my brother was diagnosed at 3, but it has made me understand myself and the world around me better and I'm so much kinder to myself. An occupational therapist that specialises in ASD or sensory processing difficulties can likely offer more help than a counsellor. Cheap ear defenders such as these really help.
You need to find other natural ways of coping with your emotions. There are natural ways to increase your oxytocin levels that don't involve drugs or alcohol.
For some ideas here is a website that gives a list of ways to increase oxytocin naturally. One that I like is spending time with a pet. If you don't have a pet, maybe you could volunteer at a shelter or get a job as a dog walker. You mention you want a relationship and more friends. Maybe you could join meetup.com and go to some of the events.
Agreed; although it isn't considered ethical to diagnose with this little information, it sounds like changes in your life may have exasperated symptoms of anxiety. Although OCD can be "obsessions only" (e.g. experiencing intrusive thoughts of death), it is more common to also experience "compulsions", which could be considered thoughts or actions used to negate the obsessions. For example, say you experience thoughts of death (obsession), to counteract this obsession you might pray for your safety (compulsion), or simply repeatedly reassure yourself that it is unpractical to be imagining such things.
It is important not to resist the thoughts and to allow them to pass with as little distress as possible. Experiencing anxiety as a result of these obsessions will only solidify their presence in your life. In turn, it is important not to indulge in compulsions used to counteract these thoughts. Instead, if you find yourself doing a compulsion; such as reassuring yourself that you will not die, a good exercise is to think STOP when a compulsion enters your mind. Do not do this exercise with obsessions, as it will not work, and may just become another compulsion.
I have OCD, and found this book to be very helpful, and insightful. Also, don't worry, you aren't alone, or crazy. :)
Question, when you have these night sweats and terrors, does it ever feel like it’s generating from your brain stem?
There’s this protein called beta-amyloid 42 that can build up in your brain from insufficient natural deep-sleep, and what it does is it basically clumps together like a plaque when your body can’t process it out. It leads to all sorts of mental health issues. I’ll send you a link to what I started using to help me sleep through the night. They are technically made for skin/beauty as an anti-aging thing, but what I noticed when I wore it to sleep was that it relaxed not only my forehead, but allowed my brain to completely relax during sleep (for the first time since I was a kid). It’s an expensive habit honestly… I’m waiting for the day where someone creates a more affordable option… they have reusable silicone patches, but nothing has ever worked quite like this one
I’m not a doctor, just someone who struggled with similar issues and this is what helped me. Everyone is different though. I hope you find what works best for you and find relief soon.
i can recommend a great book to you, which i never do because book recommendations usually land no where. but truly, please look into this book. it is called "there is no good card for this: what to say and do when life is scary, awful and unfair to the people you love" and it is less than 300 pages, adorable on a coffee table when you're done with it, plus it is illustrated brilliantly and usefully.
That's actually amazing, and I hope you'll manage to come up with something good! What kind of app are you planning to develop? I think you can check out other mental health apps to pick up some useful features. For instance, I can tell you that in my case, iFriend works pretty well coping with anxiety and stress, but maybe that's too specific, idk.
If you're looking for healing, by a mother, here's a book I read.
The first page of the book a quote "For my daughter, Elena, a true bringer of light."
The author will teach you how to take care of yourself, how she viewed life and different situations, shared her wisdom and life experiences.
It’s an amazing amazing tool. You can learn about it via videos or a book to help you understand the concept. (CBT for dummies) Then use aCBT workbook whenever you want to process your thoughts.
To release negative energy, I usually begin working out or running outside alone or with my friends... I recently discovered the rope jumping exercise on YouTube shorts and found it fascinating... so I bought one and started doing it whenever I feel empty inside.
I watch the Balkan Gains channel on Youtube to work harder and stay motivated and believe me, it gives me strange positive energy whenever I watch one of his videos; to strengthen the dose, I watch Jim Rohn's inspiring speeches.
I had several personality issues, and Cole Hastings assisted me in taking the first step toward developing my mindset and reducing my inner critics; now I'm journaling my bad habits in order to change them or at least tolerate my thoughts. and I found this small notebook to help me out through the process.
In summary, it is difficult to overcome your negative thoughts, but you can learn how to protect yourself from them, and I hope this comment helped you a bit.
Yeah I know even getting out of bed sometimes can feel like a ridiculous effort. Have you heard of the 5 minute rule? You can search it but basically its a way to trick your brain into getting started by setting a timer and committing to doing something for no more than 5 minutes. Keeping track of everything in a journal so you can see your progress on different tasks could be helpful too.
Also i want to share this book because I think anyone could benefit from what it teaches but especially people who struggle with mental health. There's an audiobook version too
This is the book I read that opened that door, I strongly suggest it The Healing Power of Reiki
Without pain, man will go down, without the sense of where there is something wrong, man will simply start to injure itself without thinking. I know that this seems radical, but it's true, and the truth hurts, that's why I have minus 6 on this post, because you cannot handle the truth. Read The gift of pain by Phillip Yancey and Paul Brand (link: https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Pain-Paul-Brand/dp/0310221447), and read about how leprosy patients injure themselves as a direct result of not feeling any physical pain, which is necessary to heal.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and it is true that not everything on this list is going to work well for everyone, this post is just a toolbox and people can pick what works for them.
The EMDR apps that I listed are for free, or they were last I checked. I use the phone app for cold baths combined with breathwork sometimes and this combo has helped. The desktop app I listed has a number of settings to adjust the EMDR experience. There isn't guided therapy/meditations that come with these apps but combining them with EMDR self therapy resources could be an option.
I have done a few physical boundary exercises as well, I've not heard of Youper though, I will look into this.
You are right about meditation, it does pose those risks for some people, as does mindfulness ironically. Mindfulness can be a double edge sword, Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness is a book that discusses this:
https://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Sensitive-Mindfulness-Practices-Transformative-Healing/dp/0393709787
I'm not promoting the book, but I've listened to the ebook and it is very enlightening.
I follow r/catsareassholes for my pet therapy needs, and you are right it is therapeutic.
Listen to this podcast:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1tDHTAgvqC6BVeHL9Fedha?si=iWaPz73gSTO35IS0HBz2YQ
Then start the program tomorrow.
While on the program, read this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Cant-Hurt-Me-Master-Your/dp/1544512287
The story of your life is being written. You can coast along and let others write it for you, or you can pick up the pen and start writing the story you want for yourself.
You’re young, dude. I wish, I fuckin wish someone had given me the tools I just posted above when I was 18/19 years old.
You have the opportunity to get a head start on literally everyone your age at building an amazing life by working on yourself, or you can let your life slide by.
Trust me, each year that passes goes by faster than the last one, and 20 years goes by in the blink of an eye.
Take control.
Search for Dual N-Back in the Play store. I've used this one, and it has a free and $2.99 version. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=phuc.entertainment.dualnback
There's definitely more free ones that are well rated. N-Back training has been shown in studies to improve memory. Good luck!
I recently found this book, https://www.amazon.com/Daily-Inspirational-Readings-Encouragement-Meditations/dp/B0B68381KQ/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1658105562&sr=8-2 it has been incredible so far
I have been there, i get it. I recently got this book and it has brought me so much peace and calm. I hope it helps you. https://www.amazon.com/Daily-Inspirational-Readings-Encouragement-Meditations/dp/B0B68381KQ/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1658105562&sr=8-2
A Johns Hopkins medical researcher named Travis Rieder became an expert on pain management because of an accident that resulted in dependence on opioid pain killers. This is his book -
He says that doctors are woefully ignorant when it comes to opioid withdrawal.
He says that this CDC guide is helpful, although the research indicates that even more gradual withdrawal is better.
https://www.cdc.gov/drugoverdose/pdf/clinical\_pocket\_guide\_tapering-a.p
A Johns Hopkins medical researcher who suffered a serious injury made himself an expert on pain management and opioid dependence. Here's his book -
He says that this CDC guide is helpful -
https://www.cdc.gov/drugoverdose/pdf/clinical\_pocket\_guide\_tapering-a.pdf
I found it was the missing link (literally), I needed alongside mindfulness etc etc. Goes into dysfunctional, internalised adult and child roles ("modes") seeking to build up healthy adult and child modes.
Your most pressing need I think is pain management. A Johns Hopkins medical researcher who became an expert on this because of a serious accident wrote this book -
Chronic PTSD is often called Childhood PTSD.
It’s important to have a therapist who has experience treating trauma.
I think every victim of childhood trauma should see this -
In this video, author Anna Runkle talks about her study of Childhood PTSD and summarizes treatments shown to help. She says that as a CPTSD survivor, the thing she has found most helpful to her is dealing with the symptom known as dysregulation, which is getting very upset. I would definitely see her videos on dysregulation.
I am currently reading "Adult children of emotionally immature parents," and it has helped me immensely to figure out why my mother's actions affected me as they did.
I highly recommend you read this book, OP. The behavior that you are describing here is exactly something that such parents do.
Acoustic:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0002GXZK4/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
This one is amazingly good for the price. I bought one and converted it into an Irish bouzouki that sounds absolutely amazing. (That's another beautiful rabbit hole to go down... Irish trad music is an enormous hobby: you can pick up tin whistle, mandolin, harmonica, guitar, bouzouki, fiddle, etc., learn hundreds of tunes, and chances are there's an Irish pub nearby to where to live that just might have a weekly session going.)
​
Electric:
Try craigslist/ebay, might be able to find a cheap bundle with an amp. I haven't bought an electric in over a decade so I'm not sure if amazon has anything really good. I would recommend just something cheap to start with (<$300), and a "modeling" amp. Modeling amps are smaller, and have a lot of effects built-in, which is good when you are starting out to explore different sounds and get the ones you want.
I think that this it's called Agoraphobia. It's quite well documented and treatable. I'm no expert but I'm fairily sure you can overcome this issue.
If you look it up for yourself, there are books that can help you (https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Agoraphobia-Vijaya-Manicavasagar-Derrick/dp/1849010021), this is just one I found, idk how good it is, but it has quite good reviews. If you even need more help, going to therapy will definelty help you.
I am currently listening to Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself on Audible and it is an amazing guide. I kind of wish I was reading the actual book instead of the audio as I think I would have gained more. Definitely recommend as someone who has always struggled with this!
Do you think a book might help? I just finished a good one about shutting down intrusive thoughts to open up your life. Maybe help you understand what's going on? Take a peek here?
Are you into books? I finished one the other day about overcoming procrastination (and other stuff). It was really good! Take a look at it here maybe?
Yes, OCD comes in various forms and it’s different for everyone. Sounds like you also have social anxiety + anger outbursts. This was me - all the symptoms, before I started Lexapro 10mg. Changed my life. Haven’t had a mood swing or argument with anyone in my life since I started it 10 weeks ago. OCD thoughts are more in control and I’m happier overall- would you consider a SSRI? If not, would you consider therapy? If not, can you try to do some self-help therapy on your own? I also recommend the books: “calm the f*ck down” and others by the same author. Linking below.
There is nothing wrong with you.
How you feel is very normal.
I strongly recommend you buy a copy of Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation: Skills Training for Patients and Therapists.
What you are saying comes across a lot of the time as repressed trauma.
So I suggest that you give that book a read because end of the day the only person that can really help you is yourself, nobody else.
And I recommend that you read other trauma related books after this one, as what you have said in this post describes exactly what I have been studying on trauma recently.
This kind of problem is much easier to deal with if you know why you're having these kinds of troubling thoughts. I published a book last month on Amazon that should help you. Basically you can open up your life if you know how your mind works. BEING ME BEING FREE explains everything with simple words and pictures. Change your thinking, change your life! Learn more here. You can change for the better, and much more easily than you might imagine right now. Good luck! You can do it!
This kind of problem is much easier to deal with if you know why you're having these kinds of troubling thoughts. I published a book last month on Amazon that should help you. Basically you can open up your life if you know how your mind works. BEING ME BEING FREE explains everything with simple words and pictures. Change your thinking, change your life! Learn more here. You can change for the better, and much more easily than you might imagine right now. Good luck! You can do it!
I f you don't mind, I'm going to recommend that you read a book I published a book last month on Amazon that should help you. Basically you can open up your life if you know how your mind works. BEING ME BEING FREE explains everything with simple words and pictures. Change your thinking, change your life! Learn more here. Start your baby steps with this book and you'll start to understand exactly what's going on inside your head. Good luck! You can get yourself out of this!
I published a book last month on Amazon that should help you. Basically you can open up your life if you know how your mind works. BEING ME BEING FREE explains everything with simple words and pictures. Change your thinking, change your life! Learn more here. Once you understand how you think and why, change for the better becomes easy. Good luck! You can do it!
Anxiety is known to make eczema flare. 1% Hydrocortisone cream works quickly but should be used really sparingly and infrequently to avoid the skin thinning. Once my skin has settled I use a 10% urea cream this one to stop it recurring.
My honest to God advice is to find a therapist and talk to a mental health service about this.
I can not overstate the value of having private therapy where you are able to discuss your traumas.
I also recommend a book which may or may not help you with coping with your trauma.
The book is "The body keeps the score" and has helped me and many others cope with difficult traumas in their lives. Here is a link to it. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Body-Keeps-Score-Transformation-Trauma/dp/0141978619/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1V1PCU28QERMR&keywords=the+body+keeps+the+score&qid=1650294546&sprefix=the+body+keeps+the+score%2Caps%2C70&sr=8-1
I have advice from experts about stress, anxiety, and depression in my comments.
Chronic pain is something many doctors are ignorant about. A Johns Hopklins medical researcher named Travis Rieder became an expert on pain management because he suffered a serious injury in a car accident. Book - In Pain.
So it sounds like you're doing talk therapy. Some people find talk therapy helpful because they simply need to vent and feel heard. Other people don't find it helpful because there is no actionable change. I'm in the second group.
Try looking for skills based therapy. The goal is to actually give you tools to recognize and change maladaptive thinking and coping strategies. It's learning how to effectively manage your problems and emotions.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is the basis for this. I personally find general Cognitive behavioral therapy too vague. I find it too difficult to know which skills to use when. I found Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) to be more helpful.
DBT is a very structured form of CBT that covers emotion regulation, interpersonal effectiveness, distress tolerance, and mindfulness. I found this sense of structure much more helpful.
The DBT skills training manual by Marsha M. Linehan is generally whats used in a clinical setting. You can do the therapy on your own if you want, but there is an awful lot 9f information and having a professional to work with can be helpful.
Aswell you can get crosslegged on the earth harness deep breaths and meditate you can create one supposedly . People are being punished for not believing in the mysitical magic that science ignores and obvious, god is real, and you also have his powers of influence, you are just stuck on negative and probably having high frequency's near you
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09DSK91BX?psc=1&ref=ppx\_yo2ov\_dt\_b\_product\_details
Talk with the doctor. Also, it might be very good to talk with a specialist at a pain clinic.
A Johns Hopkins medical researcher became a pain management expert when he suffered a serious accident. Book -
I don't have the answer for this right now but one question and one book that I can offer at the moment - what makes it easier for you to talk with 400 people rather than 1 person? and here's the book I thought might be helpful for you - https://www.amazon.com/Science-Likability-Charm-Studies-Master-ebook/dp/B012OP0TE0
It's perfectly understandable to want that affection. It seems like it's something that you didn't get much of (if at all) from your family. A lot of the time people in these situations don't even realize that there was a problem with their childhood, and that it's affecting them now. They may have a vague feeling that something isn't quite right, but can't put their finger on it.
I personally found this book to be helpful:
https://www.amazon.ca/Running-Empty-Overcome-Childhood-Emotional/dp/161448242X/ref=asc_df_161448242X/?tag=googleshopc0c-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=292953817133&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4820882783273510015&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9001212&hvtargid=pla-436607838861&psc=1
It has more to do with neglect rather than abuse, but maybe you'd be able to find it helpful?
Arthritis - a Johns Hopkins medical research was forced to become an expert on pain management because of a serious accident -
A lot of things can help with anxiety and depression - standard treatments and the self-help recommended by therapists. I have advice from experts in my comments and you can click on my name and read.
Pessimism is a symptom of depression.
Optimism sometimes gets a bad rep. There's stupid optimism, which says that things are great when they're obviously not, but there's also smart optimism, which is always looking for ways to make lemonade out of the lemons life gives us every day - big ones and little ones. Instead of cursing your bad luck when things don't go as planned, look for the advantages of the new situation. Use your imagination. This is how to be "lucky."