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That totally depends on the culture of the area you're in. Here in the Netherlands there are a lot of dolmen (we call them hunebedden) and people (children and adults) climb on them and sit on them all the time while visiting them. Same with the burial mounds we have here. It's not considered tasteless and offensive at all here. In fact I have very happy memories of climbing on and under our dolmen as a small kid, as a teenager and as an adult...

It's different if that specific location has been a sacred place continuously, but most Dutch people didn't know our dolmen were actually graves, and if they did, they robbed them... (though most were robbed before current societal memory).

I should add that there are some organisations who do consider it disrespectful, but that is not the common Dutch consensus. It seems to be more a reaction to the shock/offense of foreign tourists towards the climbing than our own cultural inclinations.

>Predators know about this pressure and use it against us.

Every woman should read The Gift of Fear. It discusses the tactics predators utilize.

You might want to look up emotional incest. What you are describing is not healthy for either of you.

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/emotional-covert-incest-when-parents-make-their-kids-partners-0914165

https://www.amazon.com/Silently-Seduced-Parents-Children-Partners/dp/0757315879

NTA your mom is abusive af. She sounds like a carbon copy of my mom. I went no contact 6 months ago and my life is so much happier and healthier!!

I recommend these books:

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626251703/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_uzIaGb2MGV021

You're Not Crazy - It's Your Mother https://www.amazon.com/dp/0232529299/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_PzIaGbX33D4GW

I was thinking more like these things:

foldable globe

did you put these in there? https://www.amazon.com/Sonoran-Spice-Carolina-Reaper-Pebbles/dp/B07BGVF61B

you're obviously the NTA here. legally you might actually get into trouble at least here in the US? I am not sure.

but fuck that, this douche bag grabbed TWENTY of your nerds to guzzle down? it's a good lesson for all your stupid friends to not grab stuff without asking first.

I am consistently generous with friends - I will happily give away my sandwich at lunch if a buddy's hungry. but if you paw at it, or take it without my permission then fuck off.

NTA but You can get around this two ways. Replace the whole knob with a locking one. Keep the old one and put it back when you leave. Or even easier buy a rubber wedge and put it under the door. Shepherd Hardware 9133 Heavy Duty Rubber Door Wedge, Brown https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00004YOHN/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_5zaDDbRN85DW1 $3.49 problem solved.

YTA if you do it.

Look into what declawing actually does to a cat. It's basically if you were to chop off the first joint of your fingers.

ETA: And back once I hunted down a link to a particular product. I'm not recommending that particular brand, but claw caps like that are much better for your cat.

ah looks like I didn't specify the specific plastic straws I got - but yes, they are the biodegradable ones these are the specific straws I got. I just hate the feel of paper in my mouth - and not sure why companies went with paper over biodegradable plastic ones, maybe price?

If my memory serves me right - I did inform her (the girlfriend) that they are biodegradable, but from the time i've known her, she's pretty head strong (or thick hard to say) - so probably didn't register before she threw them.

NTA - Also, you can search for ways to "child proof" a phone.

Even better, get them a dumb phone for $15, where they can call and text, but forget Reddit and anything else.

OP should just buy him a ring. A nice tungsten carbide ring is like $20 on Amazon, so who cares if he doesn't wear it, it's $20.

Rule 34... https://www.amazon.com/Space-Raptor-Invasion-Chuck-Tingle-ebook/dp/B00S4B95RQ

I mean, I feel like Chuck Tingle has done more for Rule 34 than any other "mainstream" author, but still...

OP could also try the anti-nail-biter polish.

https://smile.amazon.com/Biting-Deterrent-Biter-Be-Goner/dp/B079WCFLQB/ref=sr_1_13?keywords=nail+biting+polish&qid=1575575111&sr=8-13

Paint that onto the lip area of every can and then buy a straw to use in case they accidentally take one themselves.

Hijacking top comment to recommend this product. https://www.amazon.com/Urnex-Professional-Grinder-Cleaning-Tablets/dp/B0014J7FUY/ref=asc_df_B0014J7FUY/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=309735741984&hvpos=1o3&hvnetw=g&hvrand=2266436962078040546&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hv...

If OP wants to keep the coffee maker in good condition this is necessary anyway.

I used to work in coffee and this is the industry standard.

I can recommend <em>A History of the World in Six Glasses</em> if you want some light, fun reading on this topic.

NTA

Your parents have boundary issues. You should be able to have privacy in your own room. Dear god, you should at least be able to get changed in your own room.

If you want to push the lock thing (although I'm worried they might take your doors if you do) then I would suggest a small shackle lock (like this) that fits over the door handles and can't be snipped off. But as I said, I'm worried your parent's behaviour might escalate.

Do you have other adults you could talk to about this?

Just so you know, you can cut off amazon links after the /dp/###### part

https://www.amazon.com/Urnex-Professional-Grinder-Cleaning-Tablets/dp/B0014J7FUY

You can even remove the description line, if you really decide to care.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0014J7FUY

Not OP but when I wanted to brush up, no reason...just because, I used this quiz app World Geography Quiz Game that allows you to retry, offers different difficulty levels, has a lot of information on each Country if desired, etc, etc. it's a more of a learning tool than a quiz (although shows you your progress) and honestly could be easily used by children or adults.

Excerpt: World Geography is a quiz game that will help you learn everything about countries - maps, flags, capitals, population, religion, language, currency and much more. This quiz game will help you learn everything about geography in an easy and enjoyable way.

>Chuck Tingle has done more for Rule 34 than any other "mainstream" author

Yeah I can see that. He's fast, too: &quot;I Freed This Handsome Cargo Ship From The Suez Canal And Now He's Stuck In My Butt &quot;

I agree with the comments above. OP, I think the main issue is that it completely obscures your face so leaves her to interact essentially solo. What about a penguin onesie? Equally silly and fun, but you would actually have a face for people to talk to. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00P7AWZBU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_fabc_FBE9KN43PF4T1MX0ZYJ0?psc=1

I'm so sorry for your loss. The only correct response to a death in the family is "I'm so sorry, how can I help." Your boyfriend can't even display baseline human decency. Please think about how/if he makes your life better. You already wait on him hand and foot and that's apparently not enough for him.

Please read this: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000Q9J0RO/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_WXVGE4MKDTXHDBW20MN7

It’s not in most peanut butters, though. It’s in the high protein kinds that are like 5x the cost of normal peanut butter. While you shouldn’t feed your dog Skippy or Jiff because of the sugar, salt, and oils... for Xylitol poisoning, it would have to be P28, Go Nuts, Protein Plus, or the like.

You really only find high concentrations in products like these gummy bears (read the reviews): Sugar Free Gummy Bear 1LB Bag https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IF3DUW4/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_cH8-Fb99SS4GD

ETA: Xylitol is a specific kind of sugar alcohol and can also be listed as Maltitol in the US.

So someone found this cool graphic from a study that was done in Europe about where people felt comfortable being touched:

https://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/562fbeb11400001b013c9422.png?ops=scalefit_720_noupscale

It seems like while not everyone felt it was taboo, generally people felt very uncomfortable being touched in the lower back area, especially by men. Hands, arms, and upper back were the safest place for a stranger.

NTA. I mean, I'm not surprised the other parents got angry, but it sounds like you are raising your daughter to be a leader who will stand up for herself and others. UNION.

Put up a portable fence:

Zippity Outdoor Products ZP19026 Lightweight Portable Vinyl Picket Fence Kit w/Metal Base(42" H x 92" W), White https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07DHX8YH2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_DFR113HSPR24777RHBZX

NTA Send her a couple bucks, tell her you're square and realize you don't need someone this petty in your life.

I ran the calculator on THIS PAGE with the fairly heavy factors of 30 minute shower, $5 per 1000cu ft, $0.13 kw/h for electrical, and a medium flow rate of 2.1 gpm. Comes out to an estimated cost of $1.21 per shower.

Even if we go with the most expensive showers I've used, truck stops, we're talking a maximum of $20 for a half hour booking.

Using the same water cost and assuming 1.5 gallons per flush, one flush of the toilet costs $0.0075. Flush the toilet 133 times for a buck....

For comparison, my family's monthly water bill, for 2 adults averaging a shower a day each, 2 kids averaging a shower every other day, 4-6 loads of laundry a week, cooking etc, maxes out around $60-75 a month.

NTA, but based on how angrily my skin raged after I got my brows waxed, I suggest using a personal trimmer instead. I love those things, you can gently and painlessly get rid of unwanted hair. No redness or irritation. On brows, above lips, chin, wherever. The one below is about $20. There are cheaper ones, but I have been using this one reliably for years.

https://www.amazon.com/Panasonic-ES2113PC-Pivoting-Attachments-Battery-Operated/dp/B0009DT39C/

NTA. I'm a multiple snooze buttoner myself (it gives me way more dreams) and doing it in a way that disturbs your partner is not okay.

If it's important to her she can get a silent alarm that will only wake her up, eg the silent alarm on a fitbit, or one of these.

43 people were charged with 29,726 felonies as a result of a 13 year old girl with a history of accusing people of abusing her.

https://ipfs.io/ipfs/QmXoypizjW3WknFiJnKLwHCnL72vedxjQkDDP1mXWo6uco/wiki/Wenatchee_child_abuse_prosecutions.html

People say all the time "a child would never lie about something like that", and that's so obviously not true, that it's clearly a biased position. Kids lie all the time, because they have no concept of the consequences.

You can buy a security chain for cheap. Which I recommend doing. Your parents should be replacing what you lost, or at least groveling with sincere apologies, a plan to keep this from happening again, and promising to make it up to you when they can.

"Try not to do that again" isn't a solution. A 2 year old isn't really yet old enough to not destroy things. So anything he can't destroy MUST be kept where he can't get at it. That's the whole family's job (especially the parents'), and it takes more than a shrug and a prayer.

>It's not customary to let other people wear your wedding dress.

Totally, and I'm confused why I've now seen multiple posts where someone felt entitled to an OP's wedding dress. These days there are a lot of affordable options online like this gorgeous gown and for most people it important to look unique & special on their big day.

If OP is worried about this happening again (because people are nosy) they could consider getting a screen cover. I used to use one if I took my laptop to a coffee shop so people wouldn't see me writing sex scenes and freak out. They're pretty affordable and easy to find online. Example of what I'm talking about.

Not saying OP should have to hide what they're doing on their computer, just if they want to it's an option.

Get an insulated lunch tote and put a small luggage padlock through the zipper pulls so that the only way to get into it is to physically bust the zippers themselves. If someone busts into your cooler then your boss really can't not do anything about it.

Its better and more mature than spitting in your food every day

NTA for being upset your coworkers are stealing your food...but if they have the boss wrapped around their finger like that, continuing to do something gross like this might result in you getting let go.

Okay so apparently the exploding dye packs count as booby traps across most of the US. However, I've found this powder, you just need to find a way to make sure it gets all over their hands when they open the package.

https://www.amazon.com/Visible-Stain-Theft-Detection-Powder/dp/B009DMKYIY

There’s a children’s book called Mrs Piggle Wiggle. It’s about a lady who has tons of “cures” for childhood “ailments” - like the Never Want to Go To Bedders. Hilarious book, my kids love it, and just reading it can get the point across.

I'm a huge audiobook fan but you're NTA here. Abridged audiobooks are fine in some circumstances (listening for pleasure; just want the TLDR version) but for a school assignment it's really a terrible idea.

They may have been struggling to find a legal free version of the audiobook on short notice? I'd advise against telling them right now before the assignment is due because there's really nothing they can do at the moment aside from freak out.

After the assignment is turned in, gently suggest they pay attention to the length of audiobooks in the future to determine if it's abridged. The library and LibriVox will likely have free copies of audiobooks for future assigned books if you want to steer them in another direction.

i link this book every time i see a post like this

https://www.docdroid.net/py03/why-does-he-do-that-pdf

OP please please read this and never EVER let a man treat you this way ever again

>Alternative is a locked box for inside the fridge

These are easily available and can even attached to the refrigerator so the box cannot be removed from the fridge easily.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01KVKMGBE/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_fabc_9R18QXWMN4ZPBGP2VZ09?_encoding=UTF8&amp;psc=1

I mean, that's old news by Tingle standards. How about "Not Pounded By My Book &quot;Pounded In The Butt By My Non-Fungible Tingler That Is Literally This NFT&quot; Because Of The Current Catastrophic Environmental And Ethical Impact"

Heads-up: if you can get your hands on a copy of Kin Groups and Social Structures, I'd highly recommend it as a primer for teaching anthropological kinship concepts.

NTA oh dear internet stranger. Please give yourself the gift of a few new books. Your mom is a narcissist.

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626251703/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_fAFaGb9VN73B5

You're Not Crazy - It's Your Mother: Understanding and Healing for Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers https://www.amazon.com/dp/1506462154/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_BCFaGbMK06B18

These are leggings, which are made thicker and with opaque material. You still wear underwear with these, because they're pants. Some CHEAP ones are more see-through, but they are made to be opaque.

These are tights/pantyhose. They are thinner, and used to provide a smooth appearance to your legs. Some have designs, but most are thin material. These are used UNDER clothes, with skirts or dresses. They are a type of underwear, although most women still wear panties with them. Your compression shorts are more similar to tights than leggings. There are compression shorts made for outerwear (like leggings), but the ones you linked are NOT those. Either get specific shorts made as outerwear, or put real shorts over yours. You're walking around in underwear in public. It's not surprising people are uncomfortable with that.

There’s an episode of Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood that does a good job covering what to do about allergies. I don’t know if it’s available to stream for free, but there’s a book based on it - here’s a link.

> trying to inspire it by giving her more ways to express it.

This gave me a great idea for OP! I had some similar interests when I was a kid, and it wasn't uncommon for my parents to give me gifts of anatomy books, layman's/kid's books about natural sciences, science experiment kits for kids, etc. I don't doubt that their support is partly what helped me push towards my current career goals and choose the college program I'm in + the grad school program I hope to get into.

EDIT: Super late edit, but stuff like this is what I'm referring to, if OP happens to see this comment and she has a birthday coming up. I loved playing with my microscope and magnets when I was a kid!

YTA

You married into the family knowing what her restrictions were. You are now a team and need to care for those restrictions together, not split hairs about who pays for it.

Does your insurance cover food-costs for your stepdaughter? If her physician agrees that a special food product is required for your daughter, you can submit a claim through her health insurance to cover the costs. You can contact a vendor and provide them your insurance's billing information and have them billed directly, or you can pay for it then submit the paperwork for a refund after. You'd be surprised at what is actually covered by most health insurances.

You could buy special appliances just for SD that are only used to prepare her food then packed away, and they are not used in the same space as the other foods. They could be thoroughly cleaned before and after use to make diet-appropriate meal shakes at home. You can purchase powdered shakes, or make them yourself based on her caloric and dietary needs for the day.

Also, you can buy in bulk meal shakes for SD so she has something to fall back on. At first glance, these seems to fit her restrictions for $3 a meal, but you'd want to investigate further and see what other options are.

We use products like this to isolate equipment vibration in buildings

https://www.amazon.com/Pack-Anti-Vibration-Rubber-isolation/dp/B01IU6WT5O/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?dchild=1&amp;keywords=cork+vibration+isolators&amp;qid=1623259004&amp;sr=8-4

OP, another way to build empathy could be reading the book Monkey Island by Paula Fox. It deals with childhood homelessness and the experience a young boy faces when he's forced onto the streets. It's grim at some points, and does include drug use and racism. It was assigned reading for me in grade 7 (about 13, I believe), and I've never forgotten it. It changed how I viewed homelessness entirely.

You struck on a key point-- she's at an age and emotional place where having a nook feels very safe. Here's a sheer playhouse but most are opaque. Walmart has lots too. It's like having a permanent pillow fort (I'm assuming the pillow fort was temporary.)

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08FVR2X77/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_imm_80RXWGC0VSEZMRGFNAED?_encoding=UTF8&amp;psc=1

Obligatory link to the pdf because it's important enough to read that it should be freely accessible.

NTA. Still, you should invite him over, apologize for not wearing the dress, and say you want to go out for a night on the town. And to show how much you love your gift, give him this to wear himself:

https://www.amazon.com/CHICTRY-Metallic-Wrestling-Bodysuit-Swimsuit/dp/B07DN5ZCDT

A fridge lockbox is something like this, which would sit on a shelf inside a kitchen fridge.

We don't know how the roommate conversation went, beyond OP saying Mary called a meeting and explained her problem, and asked for their help. I doubt she offered this as a solution, but it's pretty reasonable to think that OP could at least make an alternate suggestions rather than just "no". Based on the content of the post I don't think she would've disagreed with this approach, and that she may have been willing to pay towards it, since further down she "agreed she'd pay for everything and that she was in the wrong."

You can buy fake test results, even a how to for faking it using a real tester too. I wouldn't even trust an ultrasound photo.

https://www.amazon.com/Uenvision-Fake-Pregnancy-Test-Positive/dp/B07N2HF33N

https://www.wikihow.com/Fake-Pregnancy

6.5L Pet Feeder,Automatic Cat... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07MG12BP3?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

I just bought that a couple of months ago for my own grumpy old man. I keep batteries in it for when I have to move it or incase of the occasional power outtage, so I don't have to reset it, but it's easy to use. You may want to put something heavy on top, though, if he's good at getting things open.

> a pair of slippers for her exclusive use

I was going to recommend those blue slip-cover, but then I saw these (link).

NTA. Let us know how she likes them.

Living with roommates sucks, especially roommates with very different class/work/sleep schedules. Everyone suggesting 9-10 pm quiet time needs to get out of their morning person bubble. Everyone else suggesting that OP go out every time they want to have a chill conversation with friends is also being unrealistic. For one, that's going to get really expensive. For another, OP has a right to use the living room they pay to rent, which is equally as strong as Roommate's right to sleep, so they must find a way to balance these rights.

I say this as a very, very light sleeper. In a decade and a half of living with roommates, I have never come to a point of not being able to work it out, nor come to a point of putting my foot down and telling a roommate they couldn't use the living room at conversational volumes whenever I was sleeping.

OP - maybe in the politest way possible, you can help your roommate explore some techniques to sleep better. White noise machine or fan, blackout curtains, eye mask, ear plugs. I would again politely encourage your roommate to at least try ear plugs for a week. I recommend the Mack's 32 dB - they are small and squishy enough to comfortably sleep on even for a side sleeper (33 dB are quite a bit bigger) and you can still hear a nearby alarm through them, though they block out background noise. Here is an Amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0051U7W32/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_99exDbNDEE7RA

https://www.amazon.com/TENS-7000-Digital-Unit-accessories/dp/B00NCRE4GO

It's mentioned elsewhere in the comments this is what the kids were playing with. Can you imagine? They were in SUCH peril!

I have tiny ear canals too but I have a fiance who snores like an elephant, so I learned to suck it up and find ear plugs, and now I sleep through the night just fine. Look for the foam ones (highly recommending these 3M ones) - you press them between your fingers like you are trying to roll them into thin long pieces, then put them in your ear, and then they expand and block out all the sound. It takes a bit of getting used to and some practice to get them to stay in, but after a few days I managed just fine. Unfortunately living with roommates means you share your space - it is the compromise you have to make for the cheaper rent, otherwise I am sure most people would choose to live by themselves.

There are actually some really cute window decals that act as privacy screens! There's the basic frosted glass look or the crystal/rainbow look, like this.

NTA - For less than $50 you can get one of these: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01JJYVGOG/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&amp;psc=1 and it has no problem storing three months worth of insulin pens. As someone with this disease, I would have never asked to store my meds in someone's personal property... but that's just me.

I struggle with the same issue as your boyfriend. I sleep through every loud noise imaginable, and there was a couple ways that ended up helping me.

First was a Fitbit. That was super helpful because not only would it track how much sleep I was getting, but it would vibrate as an alarm clock and wake me up immediately.

Second was the smartshaker. It sits underneath your pillow and vibrates to wake you up. Just some food for thought

https://www.amazon.com/Google-Nest-Thermostat-Programmable-Generation/dp/B08K2M13NY/?_encoding=UTF8&amp;pf_rd_p=c4ab88b0-3d34-40f9-a53c-afc9e7652f41&amp;pd_rd_wg=d8YR5&amp;pf_rd_r=GH4CAYTEF0689D6QPV8Z&amp;pd_rd_w=2MdOL&amp;pd_rd_r=6282693d-e477-4b...

This is the one I got. It didn't require a C wire. And in the q&a someone said it works for their 40 year old oil burner that only has 2 wires period. Nta good luck

YTA

Jesus I don’t even know where to begin with this. I’m gonna break it down the way I would for my toddlers.

I understand that you feel badly for being mean to Sarah, but do you think the problem will be solved by being mean to Luke and Scott? How would you feel if they sat you down and said “listen dad. We’ve been giving mom a really hard time lately so we’ve decided that for Mother’s Day this year we’re going to send her on an all expenses paid trip to Hawaii for the weekend. You’re gonna go too, but you have to pay your own way. Also, we’re giving you a new set of grill tongs for Father’s Day. Fair is fair!” You’d probably feel like they don’t care about you as much right?

The way to solve this problem is not by throwing money at your daughter and shoving your other kids’ faces in it. You could have avoided this ENTIRELY by not telling them IN FRONT OF SARAH exactly what you were giving her as a birthday gift. Also, once weekly veggie burger night is like the bare minimum you can be doing for your daughter food wise. Buy this book and do better.

The ones like this are generally not recommended. They do little to maintain buoyancy for younger swimmers and can give a false sense of security. In place of a traditional life vest, the puddle jumper style can promote much safer swim activities as it forces the child onto their back in the event of unresponsiveness.

But in this case, using the arm floaties with goggles and the speedo to show a nosy grandma is absolutely warranted.

I was on match.com a few years back and went out with this girl. On that site, you can pick your body type (slender, average, a bunch of stupid ass euphemisms for "fat", etc) , and she picked "slender". She posted several full-body pics where she is definitely slender.

I beat her to the restaurant, and am waiting at the bar, drinking a beer. She shows up and says my name. I turn around and see this girl who is at least two hundred pounds. I finished my beer and left. Not because I wasn't attracted to her, but that was some serious fraud and a big red flag to me. I wasn't rude about it (I didn't even directly mention it to her), but she definitely wasn't going to waste my time.

I disagree. The ring OP showed us is very typical of many wealthy ladies ring of choice. I know ladies who have large stone cocktail rings and engagement rings that look like that ring.

A truly joke ring would look like this.

NTA - Your co workers are dicks. This is going to impact your productivity.

Tell your boss or HR about it.

Buy a couple of these and put them in the outlet, problem solved. https://www.amazon.com/StoPower-Power-Plug-Keyed-Alike/dp/B06XWGZ457/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&amp;keywords=plug+lock&amp;qid=1605718532&amp;sr=8-2

That's arguably more humane than buying in something like these little delights, letting the sisters know about them, and warning them not to steal them because it'll make their butts suffer...

If you really wanna fuck with her, get a small combination safe, cheap 3 or 4 tumblers tops, put them in there and in the bathroom. Watch her head explode.

https://www.amazon.com/Combination-Metal-Money-Security-Black/dp/B07FD7VQWH/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_sspa?dchild=1&amp;keywords=small+combination+lock+box&amp;qid=1600184649&amp;sprefix=small+combina&amp;sr=8-1-spons&amp;psc=1&amp;spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlma...

It sounds like you and your wife both use acts of service to say 'I love you', which can translate into unintentionally parenting behavior (especially when you have (three!) babies in the house. You both should read The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts to better understand the way you each communicate with each other.

You may also find it helpful if you consider that she's not mothering you out of pity or the belief that you are incapable of adulting. Like someone already said, it's incredibly difficult to turn off 'parent mode', especially if taking care is her love language. When you get frustrated, remember that it's the two of you against the problem, not you against her.

In my experience, it really makes a difference to be clear about how you are feeling in situations like this instead of focusing on the other person's actions. You might want to take a breath and gently say, "I'm frustrated right now because I want to pull my share of the weight, and I feel like you are taking on too much. I love you and appreciate how much you do. Please let me do this so we can divvy up the work more evenly." This shifts the focus to how you feel about the situation instead of placing blame/attacking the other person (not your intent but she may have felt that way), reminds her that you are a team, and that you love her which is always nice to hear.

I use a contoured mask. it bubbles out over the eyes so it doesn't squish them, but is contoured around the nose so no light peeks through like the more basic masks that lie flat against the eyes.

Not OP but I was in a Montessori preschool and we did some basic multiplication exercises/concepts around age 3 for one using bead bars Elite Montessori Checker Board Beads https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B0070XZ064/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_lyIiFbSXSVA5Q

Basically you could make grids - so 2x3 and then that would be 6

They make silicone stretchable fruit coverings you might consider investing in. Here's one I found on Amazon, but it's a whole set. You might be able to find them individually if you look around some more

https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B078M58LTB/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_fabc_HJfdGb7YXSJ78

NTA I highly suggest reading this book

You don't need to care about these types of people. Keep being awesome!

Lmao! PLEASE don’t slap your mother! It’s the name of a seasoning. It’s from an old saying, “insert food was so good, it made me wanna slap my mama!” Basically saying the food is so well cooked, it made you loose your mind lol.

If any of the family members are crafty, here is 6 lb of the pellets for $20.

http://www.walmart.com/ip/Poly-Fil-Poly-Pellets-Weighted-Stuffing-Beads-6-lbs/841447888

You would need fabric and someone who can sew the pellets into pouches in a grid pattern. Then a duvet cover and some ties (to tie the weighted part to the duvet).

Or a 5 lb blanket from Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07WK2LP2S/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_5FsMDbBM2GE2H

OP I don't think you realize just how many really, really good jobs are out there that wouldn't require you to know how to drive. The one that comes to the top of my head is web design. Which I am some knowledge on.

Here's a free learning site for you to get started if you so please. It says "300 hours", but as someone who has learned from this place with no prior experience with coding, I can guarantee that you could the first certificate (HTML) within a week. The second I'm not so sure about, but through looking at forums and such online I've gotten estimates between 70-140 hours (still a lot better compared to, yknow, 300).

Remember that one certificate alone won't be enough, you'll also need to build some stuff yourself to prove you actually know how to do it.

If you (or anyone reading this) has any questions on this I try to help, but please keep in mind I am also somewhat new to coding. :)

Here you go op.

Monopoly Cash Grab Game https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07GZRDS3N/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_pOAoDbJVDTDQE

Fuck I’ll buy it for you. Just Clint Eastwood his face with it.

(Also your brother is a lunatic and I think you should talk to your school guidance counselor if you’ve got one, or any other trusted adult. This is insane)

NTA

My personal suggestion would be to just get a pour over cone and start using that for your coffee, but maybe don't tell anyone. Then you can't be accused of not cleaning something you didn't use. Especially effective if you wait until they've accused you several more times, or walk in on you using it after accusing you more.

I honestly couldn't tell you if this was more or less passive aggressive than filming it though.

EDIT: The less passive aggressive version might be to just switch to pour overs. Tell them it's because you prefer the taste (which is probably true), and because you want to avoid misunderstandings. Worst case scenario, the culprit starts cleaning up after themselves, and you have a new way of preparing coffee. You could also use an Aeropress or something, but a pour over is probably the minimalist solution.

EDIT2: Don't forget to check the batteries in your carbon monoxide detector.

NTA. I would be so annoyed too. You’re paying money for this and it’s your future at stake.

Have you tried a privacy screen so that the only way he can view your screen is if his face is planted next to yours? Here’s one:

15.6" Akamai Computer Privacy Screen (16:9) - Black Security Shield - Laptop Monitor Protector - UV & Blue Light Filter https://www.amazon.com/dp/B012V5A7D6/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_vxGLDb2W5N58Q

NAH. You clearly are better about keeping track of things, she isn't.

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That said. 5 Cables for $15, from Amazon, Prime shipping.

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Buy a pack, or have her buy a pack. Small arguments can fester, and you know she's crap about cables.

Hey OP. You're definitely NTA and you may look into this mattress pad https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CHWM2TB?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

They have a few sizes and the biggest one is 52x44 inches and can hold up to 8 cups of liquid with no leaking. I would definitely recommend, just throw it in the washer and dryer in the morning and it's good for like 300 washes.

Ma’am, your husband has a personality disorder and is an abuser. That bathroom wall banging is 100% a manipulation tactic. So is the sulking and the temper tantrums. Please read this book, ideally on an e-reader where he can’t see it - https://www.amazon.com/dp/0425191656/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_imm_0A33SF6RMKT4WM9Y36NP

I used this Holikme 1.8”W-33 Feet Weather Stripping Silicone Door Seal Strip Door，Silicone Sealing Sticker Adhesive for Doors，Suitable for Windows, Doors, etc,Transparent https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B089ZTMPZD/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_WPK93ECW55514WRSBVKH

I’d recommend getting one of these as well in case someone in your family gets ahold of the key to the steering wheel lock. Put the code to something you remember but they wouldn’t know (I usually use part of my old locker combination for things like that).

Please do not watch 'To the bone'! It is a really inaccurate, stereotypical and trivialised portrayal of having an eating disorder.

Please watch Louis Theroux's 'Talking to anorexia' ( Free on iplayer: https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b09d5nk2/louis-theroux-talking-to-anorexia)

As someone who has an eating disorder, this doc is really accurate and unbiased. I was even treated at some of the hospitals mentioned. I feel Louis does a really great job of ignoring any preconceived ideas of eating disorders and actually listens to the patients. In doing so, you can see that these disorders run really deep and often centre around control rather than 'being pretty or skinny' as 'To the bone' would have you believe.

That's what really stuck in my craw. I despise using children as advertising. If they were just handing out candy with religious messages pre-printed onto them (like this) then that'd be different, since it'd just be candy and people could ignore the scripture messages if they wanted to. It'd still be a bit of a weird situation since it's school, but subtle is generally OK from what I've seen. But advertising like that? That's just awful.

We use this one. Has very carefully portion control, the cat isn’t able to stick a paw up it for more. It’s been going strong for about a year now. Would recommend putting some batteries in it so it doesn’t reset if it gets unplugged (or if you’re gone and the power goes out). It works great. Only issue is our cat can’t tell time and doesn’t realize 6:30 AM doesn’t correlate with sunrise with season change. But she doesn’t wake me up anymore to feed her, and she still loves us.

He invests a lot of energy in making sure that you always feel like garbage if you don't do what he wants. It's a choice he makes. Nothing he does is an accident.

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000Q9J0RO/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_WXVGE4MKDTXHDBW20MN7

https://www.23andme.com/?bm=l

It allows you to connect with ppl you are genetically related to... Expect drama though. People find thinks like half sibling that ate 3 months younger or older than they are and then are all like... Dad? WTH? or that dad is NOT dad genetically... And sibling are half siblings...

Expect crazy.

I actually like how a lot of them look, but the one OP had her daughter wear was this one. Which makes her 1000x more TA.

YTA my wife has also been diagnosed with BPD and has spent her own time in facilities. Learn about your wife's disorder. I recommend this book specifically written for those of us that find ourselves close to someone with the disorder.

It's not gonna magically make everything alright. But if you're anything like me, you're gonna find the righteousness of your righteous anger will start to melt. You're gonna start to understand why she acts the way she does, because you'll finally be able to understand why she thinks the way she does. And you'll learn how to handle it differently.

Once she's out make sure she gets into some sort of DBT program. Hospital stays do about Jack shit without continuous follow-up.

I totally agree that board shorts or the long swim trunks are uncomfortable. It's too much fabric.

What about a compromise and get something more like this. They're shorts, so they have more coverage than briefs (potentially less "embarrassing" for daughter) but a lot smaller and less fabric than board shorts so you'll be more comfortable.

> Also, men tend to experience anger more frequently as a primary symptom of depression.

It's actually likely that they don't experience it more; it's just more socially acceptable for them to feel and express it. Many girls and women get socialised to surpress anger so heavily that they can't even recognise it themselves anymore.

This’ll probably end up removed because obviously, YTA.

Are you comfortable with your daughter living and never seeing or hearing from her again? Because that’s what is going to happen if you keep this up.

I recommend reading How We Sleep At Night

I might even be able to swing you a copy because I have a close relationship with members of the Free Mom Hugs organization.

I would go as basic as you can find.....Nokia is back making their phones. Let her deal with something like this or whatever standard flip phone your local cell phone store carries.

ETA I'd go one better and this can be her phone - she had 911, she can call four numbers of your choosing, and you can even track the phone with your phone. If she wants to act like a child, give her a child's phone.

NAH - You're clearly not the asshole. However, rather than calling your husband the asshole, I think this may just be mismatched expectations and ways of expressing yourselves. Specifically, check out the concept of the 5 Love Languages (https://www.amazon.com/Love-Languages-Secret-that-Lasts/dp/080241270X). You don't need to buy the book, as there are articles out there that explain it well enough. The 5 are words of affirmation, physical touch, gifts, acts of service, and quality time. Considering the amount of effort you put into gifts/party for him, it might be because gifts/acts of service are important ways you show him love, so when they're not returned in that way, you're hurt. He might be showing you love in other ways that are more important to him.

When she draws on the wall just say oh no you missed the paper! Here let's clean that up! And together you clean. Then you remind her "where do we color?"

No No Yes Yes is a great book to review toddler rules. Both my kids loved it. All of Leslie Patricelli board books are amazing.

There are a few ways to go about this, the first is simply asking for assistance from a store employee, some people have service animals that are trained to pick these items up, but for those who do not mobility aids are a wonderful tool: like this.

However, the particular store I go to typically doesn't have many items only on the bottom or top shelves, but instead has them in multiple locations. I will say more major chains like target/walmart are not set up like that, but my local Mejier is.

If I'm going on a particularly big shopping trip involving heavier items I will also ask a friend to come along with me.

NTA - Is there a reason why the SIL doesn't want you to sleep on the ground?

One of the things you can get is an extra long sleeping bag pad. It's less bouncy than an inflatable mattress, and is pretty easy to throw into a car. This one on Amazon would be long enough for you.

NTA. Go to your county records office, look up the deed for their land and find out exactly where the property line is. Mark the property line with a hundred miniature trash cans and turn this into a r/pettyrevenge.