I would make sure it’s clear that hacking your body because you’re transgender is different than hacking your body because you think cybernetic implants are cool. i.e. feeling the need to fix our bodies because our secondary sex characteristics are wrong is not the same as getting an artificial limb or getting a neural port to sync with computers.
Having said that, transgender people are more likely to also be transhumanist. I think it’s because we have experience hacking our bodies. Like I hacked my endocrine system with hormone injections and surgeons hacked my dick into a vagina and hacked my vocal cords into producing a higher-pitched voice, so getting medical nanites for faster healing doesn’t seem as big a deal.
Here’s a science fiction story collection by trans authors. Some of the stories contain elements of transhumanism.
Fun fact; Go Girl is also a non-phallo-looking STP device (stand-to-pee device) which is able to help people with typical female parts to pee while standing. : )
You may (or may not) be surprised to learn, many trans women have to get this done before they can get sex-reassignment surgery. Cis guys can certainly get it done too, and unfortunately electrolysis is the only option for permanent removal. Any good electrologist should be willing and able to clear that area for you, but it'll take multiple sessions and won't be cheap. How's your pain tolerance?
For a less painful and expensive option, I keep my bits tidy with a Cleancut PS335 trimmer, a mirror, and a bright light. That trimmer is awesome, but you still have to be suuuper careful with it because it will bite if you're careless.
You are correct about the laser, it's a bad idea blasting that much energy into skin that delicate and no competent laser tech will do it. Note, there are at-home laser-type hair removal devices on the market. I wouldn't recommend any of them, from what I've heard they're hard to use correctly and even then their effectiveness is dodgy at best.
“I liked you better when we weren’t speaking, Mom” ��
Sorry, I know burning bridges is not always what people want/need, but wow you really nailed so much tone/script here. And people who say these things know that the things they say to us have more impact, negative or positive, because of their role in our lives is trusted and close (or it was) but they choose to use it to manipulate instead of support.
Try to remove yourself a step or three from the situation and think about what it would take for someone who loves you and wants you safe and well, to say things like this. What would it take for you to say things like this to someone you love? Even if you think they made a bad choice, ‘I liked you better the other way’ is a ridiculously self centered and petulant approach.
You should be able to expect better, but this person, for whatever reason, has some kind of deficit in their capacity. Their emotional intelligence is at a deficit. I really don’t know how much of that is a choice, or it’s just how some people are wired. Either way, you keep exposing yourself to harm if you keep being vulnerable to someone like this, though. You’ll be safer if you can say ‘well they aren’t capable of being the person I need; I need to manage my expectations of them, because I can’t trust them to be thoughtful.”
I can’t help but recommend this book - Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, if this is coming from a parent. It would probably still be helpful if it’s not a parent.
You were not born to be the prettiest figurine on this person’s knickknack shelf. Don’t feel obligated to do so, or guilty for not doing so. It’s not an expectation a reasonable person would set.
(Hmm I think you hit a nerve or three ;)
Measure your band size and pick up a pack of these
They work great for me. Mine are very sensitive right now and these offer support and protection. I get to grow into them as well.
My mom never really understood the impact of misgendering until she read Super Late Bloomer. She said it painted a very good picture of the feeling. Mind you, she may be more supportive than yours. But it is a good collection of comics regardless.
That said, this by a trans woman so it might be confusing if she doesn't understand the difference.
It sounds like a really awful transphobic bullshit.
Five star reviews:
"Very shocking revelations about how our culture and society has not only been duped, but there is a collective "head in the sand" that the press continues to allow. So many people who are sick. Very good background of the transgender mavericks who have destroyed so many lives and will continue until we wake up. Terrific comparisons to other deceptive periods of lies that modern society and medical science allowed like lobotomies."
"This book opened my understanding to behold the grab for glory and gold behind Kinsey and the other medicos in their perverse promotion of false and actually impossible transgender medication and surgery."
r/transvoice isn't a bad place to start. There are some people there who've been through speech therapy, and are happy to share. This is a decent resource as well. If something isn't working, don't be afraid to ask questions, or try a different approach. Also, download a pitch analyzer so you can visualize what you're doing. It really helps.
Edit: And yes, speech language pathologists are extremely expensive. Most people learn from others who've been to one.
I highly recommend It Feels Good to Be Yourself: A Book About Gender Identity. It’s written for about that age, but I think it’s great for anyone.
As an extra I can tell my very basic routine:
Use this app:
I've been using it since August, managed to move both my minimum average and my maximum average way up by reading out textbooks.
On 2016-08-12, my measurements were:
By 2016-12-21, those had changed to:
I am a Data Analyst by profession so I love having access to these figures :D I should point out that I've cherry-picked my worst measurement (I never said I was a good data analyst) from when I started and the best recent measurement.
Back in March/April-ish I had a single professional voice lesson with GenderCare's voice therapist to give me the rough idea and structure to improve, and I've just kept that up without getting any more lessons.
As general advice, enunciate vowels more widely and clearly, and inflect upwards on vowels a lot more often. Cut out as much as bass as you can and read aloud or talk for as long you can while doing so. I practice using texbooks because fiction is a lot harder due to wanting to do voices and switch between narration and dialogue.
I find my voice is much better the next day if I spend 5-10 minutes practicing the night before, and it's a bonus if I can do it in the morning as well but I don't always have the time or remember. I didn't remember to practice last night or this morning, so if you knock 10-20% off my most recent measurement that's probably where I am right now.
Find something with a skirt for the swim bottoms. Something like Swim Skirt
Yes, there is a thing. Check out this book:
Self-Made Man: One Woman's Year Disguised as a Man https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000OT8GTE/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
In it she suffers severe depression as a result of her experiment.
As a tran in law enforcement, I think a knife is a really bad idea. It's too up close and personal and you are just as likely to cut yourself as well as them without a shit ton of training. Plus, if they get it away from you, your life could be in danger. Also, if you kill someone with it, you would have to prove in court that it was self defense.
I would recommend some good high grade pepper-spray. The good thing about that is it is less then lethal and if they get it away from you it won't put your life in danger.
This one from Amazon Is actually stronger than what I use on the job, plus it has a green dye to make identifying the assailant easier.
Started summarizing this review article, then found someone had already done it in Melanoma: Critical Debates. The takeaway is: you should have no problem with HRT.
Their summary of current knowledge about the relationship between hormones and melanoma includes: > - Women diagnosed with melanoma have a better prognosis than men, irrespective of known differences in site of disease. > - Recent data show no evidence for oestrogen receptors in melanoma. > - There is no evidence that use of either the oral contraceptive pill or HRT increases the risk of melanoma. > - There are no data to deny women with a previous history of melanoma subsequent use of either the pill or HRT.
I hope this cheers you up a bit, and I hope things go well for you at the dermatologist and beyond.
I've heard the Computer Science and video game industries are heavily populated by trans people, especially those on the MtF spectrum. I don't know why that is.
There was a thread on another forum a few days ago where someone (MtF) said that the only other girl in their CS class was a trans girl, and her professor was, too. Obviously this is just a random anecdote, but it's not the first time I've heard of something similar.
As for video game websites like IGN and G4, GameSpot has a trans woman named Carolyn Petit who reviews games every now and then. She might actually be the person you were talking about, as she wasn't very far along in her transition when she started making video reviews for them. There was a small uproar when she started putting out videos, and they ended up censoring a lot of the less friendly comments. I rarely go to GameSpot (or other similar sites) so I don't know if she is still working there or how her transition is going.
Something important to remember is that, from what I've seen, the gaming community != the game development community. A lot of gamers (but not all) can be completely ignorant, homophobic and transphobic, but apparently game developers are much more accepting of queer people.
I've been programming for a few years now, actually. :P It's funny - programming has become almost like a coping mechanism for me. It helps ease my pain by giving me something to focus all of my attention towards.
> I understand a frustration with rigid, societal gender roles.
OK, but please understand that that's not what gender identity is about.
Suppose we tell you, "We're going to transform your body to female, and that's how everybody is going to see and relate to you for the rest of your life. But don't worry! We're not saying you have to be feminine! You can be as masculine as a woman as you like! But you have to be a woman."
I don't think you'd be cool with that. Possibly a few people have a lot of built-in gender flexibility and could roll with that punch. A lot more people think they could handle it, but in reality probably could not - Nora Vincent thought she could, for example, and almost lost her mind, even though her change was only outward/social and not bodily.
> if I have a ton of POC family whom I never saw as any different until people got angry for me for seeing them as equals, how could I be racist?
Colorblindness ("I don't see race") is a step backwards. See this book.
>Actual racists aren't friends with people of color
Considering how it's a cliche now that racists say "But some of my best friends are black!," this is also bullshit.
My understanding of obamacare is that it created a healthcare shopping network over here. Each individual insurer will offer different coverage, and each different plan is going to be different as well. Good luck.
>A Maine court has awarded the family of a transgender girl $75,000 in a settlement of her discrimination lawsuit against a school district where administrators made her use a staff, not student, bathroom.
If the school was even trying to cover their bases they're doing a bad job (roughly $75K worth of bad job lol). I wouldn't recommend trying to sue them, maybe try to talk it out while casually tossing this link out there..
You and your family rock. You literally make the world go round.
I'm reading this book: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/transgender-child-stephanie-a-brill/1110898127?cm_mmc=google+product+search-_-q000000633-_-9781573443180pla-_-book_under5-_-q000000633-_-9781573443180&ean=9781573443180&isbn=9781573443180&kpid=9781573443...
and it's pretty alright so far, mostly agreeable stuff. There's some youtube videos (dear God if you haven't watched videos yet prepare yourself), specifically by Dr. Norman Spack (Children's Hospital, Boston) that cover everything medically related to transition. This forum tends to answer most questions with pretty decent answers if there's every anything you can't find help with specifically.
edit: with anything else in school, definitely try to take a proactive approach to it. I dunno if you want to email teachers before the year begins or meet with them (do you do Parent/Teacher meetings..?) or what, but definitely be up front at least for the time being. The teachers probably talk to each other and they all know/suspect/have hear rumors you (in my opinion) it would be best to set everything straight up front and set the tone, rather than have the tone set by a call saying "Hey Ms. so-and-so, X happened at the school today with little [daughter's name]. And uhh.. we.. uh... yeah... call us... I guess...?"
If that makes sense..
There have been studies about this. Very few regret it, and most of those who do regret things like not starting sooner. Waiting until your 30s would be more likely to increase regret.
regarding the non-penis portion of your post. there was a book by norah vincent called Self-Made Man: One Woman's Year Disguised as a Man. i haven't read the book, just norahs explanation of it. basically, she spent a year dressing and acting like a man. but, she had to quit because she became suicidal as a result of it. so, this isn't a thing for cis women. some may say they want to do it, but they really don't because they don't do it. and if they were to try it, they would wind up like norah.
the difference here is that you are expressing your desire that you are or might be a man for many reasons, and part of it is not feeling female. that's very different than saying you want to be a man for male privilege. i guess the point i am trying to say is, is that your feelings aren't equally comparable to cis women. try asking that question and ignoring the privilege part. would you arrive at the same conclusion?
One book that really resonated with me and my own experiences was Julia Serano's <em>Whipping Girl.</em> There's a lot of stuff that critiques feminism and talks about how masculinity and femininity are treated in society, but for you the most interesting parts will probably be her personal anecdotes. The most important thing you can take away from it is that everyone has a radically different experience.
When did your character realize they were transgender? When and how did they transition? How supportive or hostile was their environment, and how did they feel about themselves? Keep in mind that being transgender affects so many parts of your life, but in the end it is only one part of you. Trans people are people, just like everyone else, and we come in all different types and flavors. We can be introverts or extroverts, kind or cruel, insightful or oblivious, artists or accountants, saints or sinners. Figure out who your character is, who the playwright has written her as and how you are interpreting her, and then figure out how being a transwoman has shaped and influenced her. And after you've done that, I would go to your trans friends and ask if your interpretation has any unrealistic or offensive stereotypes. I can't imagine them being upset if you're sincere and coming from a place of respect. And if you don't feel comfortable, you can always ask reddit.
> e've seriously got to come up with a consensus on the acronyms we're using. I've so far on this sub seen a dozen or so different acronyms that all mean the exact same thing (AMAB, MAAB, DMAB,
Trans terminology is new and a migration to a single term will come with time. Untill then, this should freak you out http://www.thesaurus.com/
The guys generally don't get as much press. On the Klein scale, trans women are somewhere between "laugh" and "fight", whereas trans men are generally in the "ignore".
I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. I'm a closeted non-binary pastor. I can relate to your situation because that's where my fear lies with my vocation. I'm sorry you are hurting. I'm sorry that the community you've poured your heart, faith, and money into is struggling to accept you. But just know that that is on them. If you do end up leaving that church, a good book that might help you process that time is Searching for Sunday by Rachel Held Evans. And there are also tons of churches who are affirming and inclusive that can offer you and your wife a sacred space without denying your sacred worth as a child of God.
I've been using this app for a few months. I went from deep and gravely to effortlessly feminine by just practicing with that app a few times a day. Endurance is a still a bit of an issue, but that just takes using it often and, since I'll be going full time soon, I'll be good there. The key is visualizing how pitch and resonance works. When you talk, feel where the sound is coming from and move it up and back. It's kinda strange, but that's the best way I can describe it. You should feel the source of your voice at the top and rear of your throat.
How about you suggest some other dichotomies and see how well they sit with him:
Edit: Remove “able-bodied vs normal”, because, uh, that's the so-called normal case.
I have a similar approach to how I view things, but I feel like you're overlooking the biological underpinnings of gender.
Gender is characterised by being neurologically female, male, somewhere in between, or by being neither-- this is in the same way that external intersex features can be defined.
Gender and sex are a gradient, and the conditions during development in the womb can determine where even a cis person lies on it.
My view is that I, like other forms of being intersex, was assigned a sex contrary to my actual sex; and now I'm able to undo that mistake.
Estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, and spironolactone are all synthesized from diosgenin, which is derived from the wild yam. I don't know about other anti-androgens. I think soy can also be used, but I know they use wild yam.
(It doesn't specifically list all those hormones on this site, but it does point out DHEA, which is the precursor)
Animal-based hormones aren't really used anymore. They still exist, but you would know if you were on it them (Premarin aka conjugate equine estrogen). If you're like vegan and care about consuming any animal product, a lot (but not all) of manufacturers do put lactose in the pills.
Here's the book (written in 1992) on German Amazon and here's a brief summary someone wrote about it, in English. If this take is correct, the author seems to take "transsexuality" as something of a social construct, almost amounting to a conspiracy.
A conspiracy, I'm guessing, to be ostracized, disinherited, stigmatized, bullied or murdered, kept out of bathrooms. That kind of conspiracy.
Heey! I've been on E roughly the same amount of time and I am also crying non-stop. The thing is, don't try and stop it. Just let it pass. If you are anything like you me, you probably have a lot of repressed emotions built up and trust me, letting those tears out now will make you feel so much better later <3
I too felt completely disconnected from my emotions before HRT. This is pretty common amongst trans folks and is one of the symptoms of Depersonalization which is extremely common in trans people.
If you are reading this comment, I want you to know this:
<3 You are awesome. If you need someone to talk to, listen, or just a friend feel free to PM me or add me on discord ( Chel(Chelsey)#7558 ). I am always available.
At 19, your parents are no longer required to keep you on their insurance plan; they have the option to do so, but they are not responsible for it.
That sounds bad, but it actually means that if they choose not to provide insurance for you, you are independently eligible for insurance under the ACA based on your own income. Sign up here. If you're not working yet, you're probably eligible for Medicaid; if you are working, you're probably still eligible in most states.
As for your college funding, that's a little more difficult, but there are things that can be done to make you independently eligible for financial aid if your parents cut you off. Go talk to an advisor at your college's financial aid office. I'd also recommend talking to an academic advisor so you can make a plan in case you need to take a semester off.
Since you are still financially dependent on your parents, I would not recommend calling the cops on them for taking your spiro. It's really just not a good idea. Kids have ended up on the street for far less. It may legally be your spiro, but it's also legally their money and their home, and you're legally an adult to whom they owe no further responsibility.
What you can do is call your doctor and tell him/her what happened; s/he will probably be happy to call in a new prescription for you, which you can probably fill before your insurance gets cut. That should tide you over until you get your own insurance. Then figure out how to make yourself financially-independent so they can't do this to you anymore.
Gender roles and scripts are the sets of behaviors that we expect people to follow based on their gender. These include what sort of work and play they engage in, what vocabulary they use, as well as how they move, stand, and approach situations.
Gender identity is an individual's internal sense of which gender they are. This can correspond or conflict with the sex and subsequent gender that they are assigned at birth as well as the gender roles and scripts they are comfortable with, and the gender expression that they choose to display.
Source: https://prezi.com/9mfflretrhm1/trans-101/ (Via /r/transeducate)
There are a few different options Creams, someone else with a razor or an extension. Here is a amazon link ;) https://smile.amazon.com/Razorba-Classic-Back-Hair-Shaver/dp/B002MUAP2E/ref=sr_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1477718278&sr=8-3&keywords=back+shaver
Part of informed consent is giving you the information itself - they don't just hand you the pen to sign! You should have a chance to ask any questions you have and discuss dosage, risks, and routes of administration (pills, patches, injections) etc that they offer.
Here's some good basic info, I'm assuming you're mtf due to your name but if not you can easily google masculinizing hormone therapy instead: https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/mtf-hormone-therapy/about/pac-20385096
Basically for effects, in rough order of onset:
Libido drops and random erections decrease (temporary)
Skin softens and becomes thinner (temporary)
Infertility (may return somewhat if you stop, but mostly permanent)
Breast growth (permanent)
Loss of muscle mass (temporary)
Body and facial hair thins and grows more slowly (temporary)
Fat redistribution (mostly temporary)
Hip widening (permanent)
Hmmmmm... sounds like your doc is very much tied into "binary gender identities", as opposed to seeing gender, sex, and gender/sex as spectrums.
I am sure someone in this group will be able to give you authorative texts regarding guidelines for transitioning for medical practioners..
But for yourself, you might check out: https://www.academia.edu/11415401/Beyond_Sexual_Orientation_Integrating_Gender_Sex_and_Diverse_Sexualities_via_Sexual_Configurations_Theory
If you can get your head around it (e.g. your technically inclined) you might be able to use it to provide you some support for combatting binary thinking... :D
You should tell her that. From what I read, it takes about three months of therapy before they give you an endo recommendation. However, if she knows you're feeling like this, she might expediate the process. Also check this site out: http://hubpages.com/hub/How-to-Get-on-Transsexual-Hormone-Replacement-Therapy-Relatively-Easy You may be able to bypass the therapy process entirely.
I haven't tried this but I found these assess panties for about $16 on Amazon. It may work in making you feel more feminine while allowing for anal access. But it all depends on what's comfortable for you. 😁 Hope you find this helpful.
In addition, you can also do some tucking and taping if your not too endowed. 😊
I'm an admin as well. I can't use my data plan because the signal is horrible. So, I stay connected to IPVanish whenever I'm on any kind of wifi. Either that or I connect to my home computer using TeamViewer and browse from there.
Please just stop, tumblr is over here if you want to ignore medical science and common terms used by almost every trans person ever.
Here we treat each other with something called... respect, and don't tell others off for using a term that literally everyone uses and has agreed upon.
This is cowardice.
If liability is a concern then hand over control of the subreddit to folks who can moderate it anonymously.
We shouldn't leave trans kids behind because of some fucking TERF scum.
its a waist of money ~ ha, see what i did there
but for real, i've bought two over the course of my transition and only wore them for like a week. not worth it, nope nope nope.
well, maybe if you had someone help you put it on?
but if you insist... etsy has good everyday ones. i bought one from here: https://www.etsy.com/shop/MeschantesCorsetry
If you use Amazon, you can find pretty damn cheap breast forms of all variety. Due to the cheap cost, they're obviously not as high quality or custom made as some of what you can buy on specialty sites but since they're only needed for family visits/events, something cheap that serves the purpose would probably work, yea?
Here's two links, just grabbed them quickly so I'd recommend your friend shop around a little bit before purchasing anything :P
It's amazing (only found it because of this thread)...
I remember an image that showed "euphoria" as a straight unbroken line and "dysphoria" as the same line, but smudged and wavery. I thought it was a really nice visual metaphor but I sadly can't find it.
One thing that might help would be to show them Anna Anthropy's Dys4ia, which has some nice visual/gaming metaphors (trying to fit a weird body-block through a gap that won't fit, etc.)
> Roughly 5 million hair follicles cover the human body at birth. No additional follicles are formed after birth, although the size of the follicles and hairs can change with time, primarily under the influence of androgens
Paus, R., & Cotsarelis, G. (1999). The Biology of Hair Follicles. <em>New England Journal of Medicine, 341</em>(7), 491-497. doi:10.1056/nejm199908123410706
You should follow your doctor's advice. Do you want to end up damaging that shiny new vagina, and set your recovery back months or years, just because you couldn't wait to take it for a spin?
One of the fun things that could happen by having sex too soon, is developing a rectovaginal fistula.
When you say upper legs, do you mean calves or thighs?
I have been on HRT for three years and I have ~21 inch circumference thighs. I then Googled to see what cis women's thighs are and it says between 21 and 24 inches generally. There is also this thread on MyFitnessPal.
I really think you are setting an unhealthy and unattainable goal with 15" circumference thighs.
While regrets are rare, they do happen. However, they are almost never along the lines of "I should never have transitioned" and are more likely to be along the lines of "I should have transitioned sooner" and "I wish more people had supported my decision."
There is an issue here about the clarity of terms.
Gender has traditionally referred to the social/cultural roles Oxford Dictionaries Definition. I had a long discussion with someone which was based purely on the fact that I was using "gender" as short hand for "gender identity" whereas they were using it to mean the social/cultural roles.
Based on this, gender is a social construct. But gender identity is not.
This pack on Amazon is what I've been using. They're $16.99 in my region. There are so many in this pack that you can pretty much wear a new one every day. It's really good for figuring out your style.
Just a warning, the chains on them can disconnect. This is easily fixable by using some pliers and closing up the gaps with it.
Hope this helps! ♥
You're better off going to the pharmacy or amazon and getting OTC bulk-pack cimetidine, which is a much more potent AA (though still a weak one by comparison to regular blockers).
Lou Sullivan! I'm amazed he hasn't been mentioned yet. He is exactly who you are looking for.
He was a gay trans man who transitioned in the US in the 70s and 80s and was heavily involved in growing LGBT+ communities and advocating for trans people medically. His connections became the basis for the organisation FTM International, he wrote for and edited community papers and newsletters, he appeared on TV and more. He was writing about his identity before the concept existed of transness and sexuality being different. He was open and unapologetic about being a gay trans man even though this meant many gender programs refused to treat him; he spoke at medical conferences for some 10 years to educate doctors and students about gender and sexuality and transition.
He is one of the most important people for building the modern medical understanding of gender identity in the West. He opened that door. The book Lou Sullivan: Daring to be a man among men is a recently-published biography of him, and it is excellent in every respect. Lou kept extensive journals throughout his life, so the biography can often tell his story in his own words as well as giving it all historical context. It's amazing.
Lou died of AIDS in 1991. Between his diagnosis and his death, he often said things to the effect of, "The doctors told me I could not possibly live as a gay man, but it looks like I'm going to die like one." So not only was he a vital and tireless activist, he was fucking hardcore. His story and work are not nearly well enough known.
> unfortunately you need your foundation to match your skin type so just ordering something online is likely to result in the wrong match…
just order several tones, at the beginning it is normal that you need to play around a bit till you are happy with a product. Alos, if you have beard shadow, a darker tone is better. There are also make-up products that combine several functions in one like this one here:
another low-hanging fruit to feel more feminine is to always sit down to pee.
a more general information to mtf hrt, including antiantrogens
with the different routes of administration of E one should keep in mind, that they produce different E2:E1 ratios with sublingual being closest to premenopause levels of natal females (2:1) and oral being worst and stressing the liver the most. Also, go for the bioidentical 17b-estradiol, avoid premarin (horse estrogen) or ethinyl-estradiol (synthetic, more effective but higher health risks)
I did do one for how people identify a couple of weeks back (summary of results here). Would be nice to have something broader though. Any suggestions on what else we might like to know about each other?
First of all, there may very well be an overlap between the causes for homosexuality and gender dysphoria, such as prenatal exposure to hormones. There may also be overlapping genetic factors. They are not necessarily independent phenomena. You are falsely assuming that they are independent random variables.
Second, there is a difference between childhood and adolescent/adult transitioners. Transgender people who experienced gender dysphoria in early childhood appear to be 95% heterosexual (i.e. trans girls being attracted to boys and trans boys being attracted to girls), pretty much in line with the general population.
Note that sexual orientation can also change as the result of HRT.
We really don't know everything that can affect sexual orientation (and no, that doesn't make sexual orientation a choice).
That's a huge amount of money.
I've had my legs, chest, under arms pretty much lasered completely hairless for much less than that, by paying attention to deals on Groupon and LivingSocial.
I've been tossing around the idea of trying laser again for my face, and called up one woman I went to years ago thru a Groupon and was quoted a full-face price of $350; I said I couldn't afford that (not in any way trying to negotiate, just being honest) and she countered with $250! I said, no, that's the equivalent of ~4 hours of electrolysis that I've also been doing.
At this point she asked me what I'd be willing to pay, and I said the equivalent of 3 hours of electro or $180 seemed fair. She agreed and I set an appointment but didn't make it in as I got very sick that day.
Quite a few people do laser and as such, it's a commodity service with consequent commodity pricing so you should try to negotiate a lower price, and not be afraid to walk away. There's not a chance I'd pay 4K, and a guarantee is worthless; laser places share a very disturbing habit of going out of business.
Assuming you're in the USA get on Groupon or LS and find a place that is experienced, established, and well-reviewed.
And there's not a chance I'd give any business 4K upfont; not sure if you did or not, but that's nuts. Pay as they perform, that way if they go belly up you're not out the cash.
>I guess what I'm looking for are people's experiences and whether it made a big difference in their transition.
Absolutely; I have to shave my legs maybe every 2 weeks, my chest is hairless, my armpits as well (had to kill some straggling hairs with electrolysis). Unwanted hair = Dysphoria for me.
Dr. Rumer suggested it to me pre-op (pills) and post op (topical). It did help with the swelling. I think I got mine through amazon.com, and the arnica gel at walmarto or walgreens.
From web MD: https://www.webmd.com/vitamins-and-supplements/arnica#1
It's estimated that 0.3% of the population is transgender.
At 7,264,914,500 people in the world, that's 21,794,743.5 of us, but as I'm MTF group 3, I personally think 0.3% is a low estimate.
> For reference, I'm a white American trans woman who does not speak Chinese.
Start learning the absolute basics. Memrise Chinese. You can learn a lot of basic conversational things fast.
> I'm out to my employer, but I'm traveling on my old passport and will be presenting as a guy at least part of the time, I'm not super passable as a guy any more though.
Stay presenting as a guy the whole time. You'll be passable as a guy there if you try to pass as a guy.
> I'd love to be able to get out and about, and possibly meet local queer people.
I would advise against that, unless you meet them online first, but, you're throwing yourself into a politcal fray that is going to see you as an outright foreigner. You lack completely all langauge and cultural knowledge to get involved.
> Any thoughts have, helpful hints, or funny stories?
Consider it your final trip as presenting as a man, enjoy the food, see some interesting things, stay out of anything that is a political hot spot. If you love them, when you come back, start learning their language furiously then, but now you're only going to get yourself into trouble.
I'm a straight lady, but I've had great success on OkCupid. There's a link to enable the new gender/sexual orientation options - I found it on Reddit recently, but I can't find it anymore. It was something to the effect of: http://okcupid.com/profile/YOURPROFILENAMEHERE?identity_options=true (EDIT: TRY THIS!! Thanks, /u/Dear-Ambellina)
Maybe someone else can post it, or you can have better luck than me searching and trying to find it.
Mascara And Hope's "For Fuck's Sake" is a good guide to transitioning in the UK.
This is great - My Gender Workbook - Kate Bornstein
If you're looking for more books and other resources, I have a big list here. There's a bit more than just stuff on gender identity though.
I used this one from Amazon. A small dab on each breast nightly(it made me sleepy). I was not strict about using it and would take days off at times. I've read progesterone receptors get overloaded and it's good to rest them. Also got headaches if I used too much.
I bought several packs of these off amazon a while ago. They’re just training bras so they’re not as noticeable as a sports bra, but still hold things in place. I’m only like a 36A equivalent so I’m kind of small all around but they work really well and are comfortable. If I wear a tank top under a t shirt, the straps don’t show
Well, frankly, women will attack and ostracize any threat they deem credible.
As a consensus mentality, they will band together to exclude that which they find different, or threatening.
Let me illustrate. Growing up in days of yore, I put myself through college by working road construction, by working as a rock picker, and by raising and butchering 1000 chickens every summer.
The chickens were the dumbest things I've ever raised, but they had a few quirks; if one chicken was injured, say on a protruding nail or a bit of chicken wire and began to bleed, she had to be isolated immediatedly from the other chickens or they would mercilessly and unceasingly peck peck peck at the blood stained feathers, expanding the wound, until the poor injured thing expired.
This is also an analogy for being recognized as "odd" in High School, and your subsequent treatment.
Women of the cis are sometimes the same, banding together and peck peck pecking away at the girl who doesn't dress right, the girl that has a slur in her speech, etc.^1 And God help you if you're a trans woman.
You're best hope is to befriend a woman or two and then try to integrate into the group with them acting as your advocate.
These women do not see trans men as a threat or competition so they get a pass, as you've experienced.
Men don't see trans men as a threat and sure as hell would not acknowledge losing a romantic contest over a cis woman to a trans man; any drama merely would draw attention to such an "embarrassing" loss and invite untold derision from friends.
^1 for a memorable example of this, read Stephen King's On Writing.
If you are still inside scholl, I think telling that a teacher or a guidance counselor would be a good idea. Mine supported me and saied something like "I am happy to get bestowed with another sheep in my flock!" :D
I think if you want to cut your hear short and feel save about it - go for it. Same goes with cloths :) If they ask you why you did this and still don't want to come out... I guess you could say something like "That summer was way to hot bruh!" (Which is no joke, because damn it's hot right now ��)
You could start your transitioning by visiting a therapist. They than guide you into everything and help you comming out and stuff. Hormones and blockers could be next.
I wish you some cool last holiday weeks dude :)
Edit: Nearly forgot about binders! You can get good binders at gc2b. There is also a binder reminder app, which could support you to keep being healthy and handling binder wearing times. (Here)
I haven't heard of a game like that but if you're interested in other games featuring the topics you mentioned, have a look at A Normal Lost Phone.
It really depends on your diet and lifestyle. There are pretty common cultural vitamin deficiencies - Americans, for example, tend to be deficient in Vitamin D.
btw, have you looked into groupon? That's where I pretty much got my deals for laser hair removal. They always have deals on it.
Something like this https://www.groupon.com/browse/seattle?category=beauty-and-spas&category3=laser-hair-removal
Hmm Melatonin has some side effects like the possibility of making someones depression worse, so I could see how this might also get you more dysphoric.
According to the Trans Mental Health Study, regrets are rare but not unheard of. However, the vast majority of them boil down to "I wish people were more accepting of me" or "I wish I'd transitioned sooner," not regretting transition itself.
When I lost my insurance I transferred to Costco pharmacy. A prescription that Walgreens wanted to charge me 160 dollars for cost me 10 dollars at Costco.
You can look up their prices for most things online.
(Also you don't actually need a Costco membership to get prescriptions filled at their pharmacy)
Have you ever checked out Fucking Trans Women? I found it helpful (links are to buy, which is worth it, you can probably find ungated versions too):
Also sex as a woman is so much more a mental thing. It's counter-intuitive but if you convince yourself you can't enjoy it, your chances of enjoying it are low. You really have to just kind of let go of expectations and spend some time exploring.
Also, I can't think of my parts down there as being a penis, that triggers me bad. It's an exceptionally large clitoris, which from my brain's perspective, is at this point basically true.
You could challenge your parents on it (in a positive way), making it a kind of family adventure. Ask everyone in your family to participate in genetic testing by 23andMe. You'll find out more than just about your genetic complement.
a vanishingly small number of trans women report having period symptoms. I don't think it's really something you need to worry about.
(although there's this insane paper that talks about how two of Harry Benjamin's patients described "vicarious menstruation" via nosebleeds ever since childhood. but yeah, more of a historical footnote to a footnote than a thing you need to be personally concerned about.)
Come to Mastodon! It's essentially Twitter but, in my opinion, significantly better. It's not technically a space specifically for trans people, but there is a massive trans user-base there.
The biggest advantages of Mastodon over Twitter are that moderation is handled much better, character limits are higher, there are no ads, everything is open source, and there is a proper system for content warnings.
It kind of works like email. There are a ton of domains, called instances, that are interconnected. You sign up for one instance, and from there can interact with users from any other instance. Different instances have different rules, but every English speaking server I've seen has rules against any form of bigotry, and many of them specifically ban Nazis and TERFs. Unlike Twitter, those rules are actually enforced, too.
I've got one monster follicle deep in my left nostril. It's too deep for my electrologist to get to it.
I either have to wait for it to grow long enough to tweeze or go in with one of these.
I use an app on Android that's literally called Lose Weight App for Women
Has all sorts of workouts including a few daily routine plans. All free with some minor ads here and there!
After a while things are just going to start feeling normal, not super amazing. That said, this book might be useful for helping to explore your identity, I found it really useful and it's full of quizzes :p
My Gender Workbook - Kate Bornstein
There's something you can get called "enzyme cleaner". It's used to destroy cat urine smells. It's not like a perfume. It contains enzymes and bacteria that actually digest the urine(and other bodily liquids) and give off gas.
I would recommend getting some enzyme cleaner. You can buy a gallon at most pet supply stores, but it's generally much cheaper to get it at janitorial supply stores. Or you can get it on Amazon for about $20 per gallon.
When applying it to anything that smells bad, don't dilute or spray. Soak thoroughly for at least 15 minutes to half an hour. Then wash.
You can get womens shoes up to size 17 if you look around online.. 16 on amazon.. I wear a 15 in mens and can wear some 16 womens (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00DMJWKDG these for example)
A lot of the stuff on Amazon at that size and reasonable in price is by the same company, so I figure when I start ordering more stuff of the same brand it will likely fit as well.
Strangely its a lot easier to find heels in that size and at a reasonable price than it is to find flats :(
Being 6'2" means I really don't want heels either..
There are a lot of different varieties of breast form on Amazon, but those worked well for me with that pocket bra!
this is a book that details how the Trump Administration decidedly does not have your best interests at heart and in fact has done their damnedest to fight your rights every step of the way. It's well cited and thorough, although it does end before the recent supreme court ruling, and discusses the steps leading up to that case.
And just a quote from the author's preface.
> On a personal note, I am puzzled about the energy devoted to efforts to undermine the rights of this small group of Americans who mostly want to be left alone and live their lives free from discrimination.
I think you may be better served by the other suggestions in this thread, but if a well cited scholarly work will suit your needs, check this out.
Wigs are so freaking expensive that what I did was order several inexpensive, highly rated wigs off amazon. If they look relatively normal in the pics then you probably won’t get something more suitable for cosplay ;)
For reference, this was the one that ultimately worked great for me:
Rabbitgoo 12" 31CM High-Quality... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0140X8DJ2
I now have basically the same haircut, but with my own hair. Took a while but in the wig served well in the mean time :)
A lot of far-right people tend to be religious, and basically 100% of far-right people are shitty people. So that...certainly tends to skew how people recognize the correlation.
It's worth acknowledging that a bunch of trans folks are religious, which is really affirming for me. I wouldn't say *I'm* religious, but it helps me believe that being trans is just a part of human identity, so of course trans folks can be religious, you know? Bearing that in mind, I appreciated this book, which is basically half written for cis people who want to understand where trans folks fit under Christianity, and half written for trans folks who are trying to find a way of looking at Christianity that isn't horrifying.
Do you think that they just genuinely don't like the name you've chosen, or is it the further change of name they don't like?
Have you thought about discussing with them ideas for names that they do like?
It doesn't mean that you have to choose a name they like, but it does show your willingness to involve them in your decision.
I'm not a big fan of dictating deadlines with threats. It's normally a poor negotiating tactic because you've already set and played your hand. Moreover, if you do, you need to carry out your threat or you look weak. I recommend "The Art of War" if you are into that kind of game theory.
It's such an individual call, and even if a dozen people in the same situation told you what they thought, it would still be incredibly difficult to decide. I knew when I was 22, but didn't start transition until last year at age 40. My parents were in poor health and needed me, plus the whole idea of transition was beyond my comprehension. I regret not starting sooner, but that's me and my situation. I'm asexual, and never had a long-term relationship, so no spouse or kids to think of. I sometimes wonder if I did if I would've stuck it out for them. I honestly think I would have because it's in my nature to self-sacrifice and nurture. So yeah, choosing your family over your own needs is a completely valid option here. It's actually pretty admirable.
One more thing that might help... when I was in the final couple years of fighting my gender identity, I read a book called "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl. I found it helpful in dealing with this. The author lays out a philosophy that when happiness is unattainable, finding meaning in something can often make you feel better and give you motivation to keep going. "Meaning beats Happiness" became my mantra, and I devoted myself to trying to find meaning in not transitioning. Obviously, it didn't work for me :) Ha ha, but that doesn't mean the concept isn't true. Perhaps for you, you've found the meaning... keeping your family together and your best friend in your life by your side means more than what transition would give you (and cost you). Regret comes from wishing you could go back and make a different decision, but maybe you won't feel that way because you'll realize you've chosen the happiness of your family over your own. You're preventing their future unhappiness by not transitioning.
Sorry if this just sounds like a load of crap. Hope something here helped.
This is a great tool. I'm not sure if there's an iPhone version, but I use it a lot myself to practice. As far as outside practicing, I guess make sure that she knows you don't think less of her or anything during the voice training process. One of my major hangups is thinking it has to be perfect before I use it, otherwise people will think I'm weird... So yeah, just affirm her and have her practice a lot, both by herself and around you. The latter will help overcome that fear of judgment.
I used Voice Pitch Analyzer for Android if that's what you have. It's super great and it seems to be developed for trans people and it gives you a nice pretty graph and what you do and where you stack up with typical ranges.
This post was made for me lol. I still haven't gotten a haircut, and all I've done was my eyebrows. Here's a before and after
and a weekly-ish snap of changes.
I don't know where you got those definitions from but I've never heard them used like that.
Here are the general English definitions:
Transsexual - A person who emotionally and psychologically feels that they belong to the opposite sex
Transgender - Denoting or relating to a person whose self-identity does not conform unambiguously to conventional notions of male or female gender.
D&K Monarchy Full Leggings Black (Thick)(Plus) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MWH3RZY/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_zAWSub0AY64KZ
I wear the lg-xl size, I'm 6'2 and 200 pounds, they fit amazingly well, I tried to buy the size down but I was on the high end of the size so they werent very opaque or as comfortable as the large xl ones. 7bucks I think they are on sale for right now.
True - I've had to get a bit creative around corners and such. I've also been wanting to just do a bulk order of cartridge razors - https://lifehacker.com/forget-dollar-shave-club-buy-the-same-high-quality-raz-30788782
according to this you need a route of administration other than oral to get good E2:E1 ratio with sublingual yielding best results.
Not Terry Gross in particular (although I also think she's wonderful), but I listened to/mimicked many of the female on-air reporters for NPR when I first started working on my own voice.
OP didn't ask for this, but if anyone is looking for reading material to practice with, I found Joan Didion's essays (note: may be dead links on page; I didn't check) just about perfect. She has excellent phrasing and a very clear voice, so it's easy to hear in your head what the words on the page should sound like, when read. My only caveat is, since she's older, reading her aloud made me sound a little older than I actually am, which is something I struggle with a bit already.
Cardio and a good diet is pretty much the way to go. Don't get caught up in fad diets that everyone else is doing, if you find something that works for you and you can stick with it, great.
Most fad diets are just window dressing on the irritating truth that to lose weight, you have to eat less calories than you burn each day.
to get your basal metabolic rate, which is how many calories you burn by doing jack shit all day, then subtract 500 from that number and that's how many calories you need to come in under each day to consistently lose weight.
Add cardio to the mix and the weight will come off quicker. I've lost roughly 19lbs since the end of July and still going strong.
Motivation is huge. I want to be a girl who has a reasonably nice body, so that's what I keep in mind. It also helps to know I'll be healthier for it, which means I get to be a girl for longer lol.
It's difficult to get flat without a binder. Some people recommend tight camisoles (if very small), and there's compression vests which aren't as effective as binding but might help (as they're often marketed at men with gynecomastia). https://www.wikihow.com/Bind-Your-Chest might have some other tips...
Layering is the other thing I can recommend - an open button down shirt or zip up hoodie over a dark t-shirt (especially irregular patterns) might help. Gilets and waistcoats are also good. Other clothing wise, this site might have some tips when it comes to getting shirts (etc) to fit right in a way that doesn't draw attention to your chest: http://ftmguide.rassaku.net/
For me personally (being rather large in the chest area), a binder was my only option, and even then I'm still a long way from flat, but layering makes it less noticeable. I also tend to wear clothes which draw attention elsewhere (eg, shirts with epaulettes, jumpers with different fabric shoulders etc)